Minimal Effort

that’s what my horoscope said yo. Anyway, I’m like having gas problems. I think it was the ham and turkey sandwich. I actually ate food prepared by the gas god himself. He will go unnamed here but we all know who the god of gas is….

Anyway, I’m going to new york in a week. I’m so excited and scared at the same time. My godsister and I are going to be driving freaking 3000 miles to pick up the rest of my shite. oh yeeeaaah. I might visit my friend John in massachusetts as well which will be fun since he really wanted to see my nsync thingamajiggy

Damn, what is up wit the gas?

Okay. So a slew of events are coming up and here’s the big question, how will I afford it?

August:
-new york
-car bill
-rent
September:
-street scene
-Tyler’s birthday (uh-oh, IKEA?) (hee hee, I kid)
-las vegas

• bills

DOH!

lyric(s) of the day:

“check it out bitch…
kiss on me baby,
lick on me baby,
but you can’t own me baby
cause I’m the shit
Now it seems that things are really getting better in my life
Well, if things are really getting better in my life
we’ll see you tonight…”
–NERD

one of the many lessons I’ve learned, young padiwan learner, is that when you cut something off that you used to get to have at anytime, you want it more.

You want it badly.

I have no discipline I suppose. But it’s usually the times when you say “I will no longer have no more Diet Coke” people all over the place are having diet Cokes, Diet Coke comes out with a special, buy one Diet Coke get one Diet Coke free, and you go to a party and all they have is Diet Coke.

So what do you do?

You drink that muthafreaking Diet Coke till the last drop is gone. And you get more and more and more because really, when is the next time you will get Diet Coke?

So then, will people think you will keep your word if you say “I no longer will have Diet Coke” and they see you greedily slurp that thing up? What happens when you fall off the wagon? What do you do? What do you say?

I guess, I’m back at square one.

Goddamn Diet Coke.

I don’t even know what it is. My legs hurt and my left shoulder hurts. I sort of feel like I’m on the flu but I’m not. I don’t know.

I feel like I’m going through wretched detox. I’m trying to give up Diet Coke and cigarettes and such. I’m also trying to lose weight and eat healthy and learn to budget my money. Geez, when I put it all out there, it sounds like I’m like this terrible crack addict…but I swear I’m not. I guess just trying to go for the healthier lifestyle. And this is good. I think a lot of it has to do with my friends. I have very active friends who frequently (?) do um…active things and I’m trying to be on par with them, which is good. They’re very supportive of course.

In other news, woah, my birthday is tomorrow! Wahoo. I’m pretty stoked since the last 3 birthdays I’ve been on a film shoot or I have worked. The birthday before that was the dramatic birthday where I cried my eyes out since I just got out of the hospital and at that point in time, I didn’t want to be celebrating my birthday, so this birthday is a whole lot different than the past 4 birthdays and I’m trying to celebrate the crap I’ve lived through.

Also, I usually keep the bday on a DL but, whatevers mode. So, for those who want to give me any sort of birthday wishes (and this is no pressure whatsoever) let me make it easy for you. I love birthday cards. The more funkier, more sentimental, the more effort it takes in the person to get me the birthday card, the more hmmm…what’s the word? Ecstatic, I’ll be. Nothing more is really needed to tell you the truth.

Examples of rockin’ birthday cards of years past:

“Remember when you said we’ll be grandma Sharon and grandma Jennifer? …. Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot, Can you tie them in a bow? ….That song is not so funny anymore (But it’s still funny to me!!!)”
–Jennifer D.

“Tought titties said the kitty but the milk’s still good. Iron, I need Iron, I’d need to go through a desert for that shit. Over and out” — Wallaine S.

“You know yer pop’s mode” — Alfred P.

“To one sex goddess to another” — Jirrah C. AND Arlene G. (woah)

Anyway, just a few examples. What NOT to write in cards:

“Wow…you’re the big (enter age here)”
“You’re sure getting old!”
“Happy Birthday!” (been there, done that)
“Hey there old fogie”
“Wow, you’re over the hill”
“When are you getting a boyfriend”

These are big no-nos and will not be tolerated. That, and I ALWAYS get a card that says that every year. Actually multiple cards. If you can’t think of anything better to say then, just don’t get me one. This is only if you are even contemplating on getting me a card.

I can imagine the scenarios now…my sister is like , “Oh, shit! I gotta change my card!” (I’m kidding Jasmine) and she rushes to Hallmark to rectify the situa-shun.

What else? What else?

So I bought the Stokes. Awesome awesome awesome. My next purchase on my list? Jimmy Eat World of course. (11.99 at Circuit City)

Anyway, Chad, Ty and Kay are taking me out sometime this weekend to enjoy the funk (funkiness) which I’m really stoked about.

Okay, my stomach is having issues.

I think I read that somewhere if you’re some sort of writer, you pen stuff, you’re a scribe, a writer, an artist. Jennifer Derilo, is a lyricist superstar. I want you to be the first to see her talent first hand:

hey, kids…this happened Last Night…

Well I’ve been in town for just about fifteen minutes
now
And baby I feel so down
And I don’t know why
I’ve been walking for miles

Oh people they don’t understand
No girlfriends they don’t understand
In spaceships they won’t understand
And me I ain’t ever gonna understand

makin’ my way downtown…(SD)
walking fast
faces past
and i’m homebound…(altamont dr.)
staring blankly ahead just makin’ my way
makin’ my way through the crowd.

and i need you (guys)
and i miss you (guys)
and now i wonder, if i could fall into the sky,
do you think time would pass me by?
’cause you know i’d walk a thousand miles if i could
just…see you (guys)…tonight

it’s times like these when i think of you
and i wonder if you ever think of me (and i guess you
do!)

if you (guys) want to, i could save you
i could take you away from here
so lonely inside
so busy out there
and all you wanted was somebody who cares

i’m slipping slowly, so hurry hold me
please can you tell me, so i can finally see
where it is you go when you’re gone

there’s a dead end to my left
there’s a burning bush to my right
you [guys] aren’t in sight, you aren’t in sight

do you want me?
like i want you?
or am i standing still
beneath the darkened (SD) sky
or am i standing still
with the scenery flying by?
or am i standing still
out of the corner of my eye, was that you passin’ my
by?

i wanna run through the halls of our high school.
i wanna scream at the top of my lungs.
i just found out that there’s no such thing as the
real world…(especially one wherein people like
[edited out for controversy amongst old high school peeps] and
[edited out] can “earn” their master’s)
…just a lie you got to rise above…(we are SO
getting our degrees and hot!)

i just can’t wait ’til our ten-year reunion.
[we’re] gonna bust down the “double doors.”

uh, huh. life’s like this.

i like you the way you are
when we’re driving in mike’s car
and you’re taking to us one-on-one
but you become
somebody else ’round everyone else
watching your back like you can’t relax

laugh out when you strike a pose
take off all your preppy clothes
you know you’re not fooling anyone

tell me why do you have to go and make things so
complicated?

’cause everytime i look you’re never there
and when i turn to see you’re always there
’cause you’re everywhere to me
and when i close my eyes it’s you i see
and you’re everything i know that makes me believe
i’m not alone

i’m not alone.

Mike: The only good part of you guys leaving is not having to hear these fucking songs anymore.

heh heh heh.

On a side note, people, I think I’m in a rut. A terrible rut… the mother of all ruts. I’m not creating anything, I don’t think I”m growing in any sort of direction (I’m not couting bodywise) or am learning anything interesting. I’m just going with the motions. Hmmm. I’m not depressed or anything but I can see a future problem and since I’m aware of this, I suppose this is the time for me to rectify the situation….

Things I should consider trying to get out of this rut:
— writing a techno song
— finishing a script for once
— writing a short story (WITHOUT the help of speed vis a vis (am I using this term correctly?) Minority Report scribe)
— finishing all my books (which I haven’t done yet)
— skydiving
— anal sex
— shaving my head
— learning the drums (at the rate I’m going that’s never going to happen)
— memorizing every New Found Glory song just to annoy the shit out of people
— actually memorizing every Michelle Branch song to annoy the shit out of people.
— memorizing both Michelle Branch songs and NFG songs and doing my own remix to annoy the shit out of people
— learning NSYNC dance moves on Darren’s Dance Grooves
— deciding whether nilism (nihilism?) is the way of life.

AHHHH! I just need something new to do PEOPLE! I guess I just need to get off my fat ass and wash my car.

signed
the lovely (sex) goddess (i wish!)