Posted in San Diego, Topical

freaking nostril

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I don’t know what’s going on but I’ve only been breathing through one nostril since like Tuesday. This is very annoying.

So, I’ve been using Nyquil to kill it but it hasn’t worked yet! I’ve also been using Actifed in the daytime and it works but once it wears off…it doesn’t work!

Nyquil has been killing me every night but last night it had the opposite effect…I kept waking up at every hour of last night. It blows.

Hmmm…Single Awareness Day aka Valentine’s Day. I can honestly say that this is the first year I really truly don’t give a damn. Wait a minute…what did I do last year? Oh…yeah…I sent the boy I was infatuated with (at the time) my xxxxxxxxxxx. tee hee. I can’t believe I did that. I must of been on drugs…or just plain stupid. I think it scared the bejesus out of him. oh well, his loss.

Anyway, I went to watch Daredevil today with a girlfriend. The thing I hate about movies and their comic strip counterparts is the formula. There is a specific PREDICTABLE formula that is followed with superheros. W (the girl I went with) was saying they should have a cupcake man who throws cupcakes and you fall asleep or you have insatiable hunger and start eating things around you and then he meets the love of his life…bad image girl…she gives people a bad image that they feel they must be thin and/or anorexic… hence, when she meets cupcake boy/chef, she starts to eat (for the sake of love) BUT she loses her superpowers because she actually gains weight and is happy. I don’t know. I was busting up in the car of W’s concoction though. I want a happy ending for a superhero thingy. Hmmph!!

Oh what else? Oh, I got quite a few valentine’s this year… and let me tell you…they were all from (for the exception of one) east coast boys. I’m telling you, east coast boys are the shiznit. Thank you. They never forget their friends.

Anyway, I’m off to read the best of the onion. I got it at Barnes and Noble…a neat 3 book set. More details later yo.

Sharona

p.s. should I take nyquil again tonight???

Posted in Movies, Nonsensical, Pop Culture

complexity a la Amelie

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I like listening to French movies right before I go to sleep.

I dislike when the driver in a movie is not looking at the road.

I like getting my hair shampooed by another person

I dislike getting my hair blown dried by another person

I like the taste of water after taking a hip hop class

I dislike when a person blocks you when you are trying to follow the hip hop instructor but you cannot move to a different spot because you are surrounded by people hence, you have to copy a person in front of you who doesn’t do the routine as well but you need to know enough to get by in the routine.

I like parking far away in a parking lot so I have to walk a bit to the store.

I dislike having to carry groceries to my far parked car because I forgot I would be carrying something back to my car.

I like when Nyquil hits you and can barely keep your eyes open

I dislike only being able to breathe through one nostril and the nostril you cannot breathe out of, is running.

I like the smell of a girl’s hair after she gets out of a shower

I dislike the smell hot garbage.

I like to think (a la Amelie) how many people are having sex at this very moment

I dislike thinking how many are having sex because they are cheating on a significant other

I like the way I smile in pictures

I dislike how I cannot NOT smile in pictures without looking like a retard.

I like the look of fear on Mulder’s face

I dislike that the show the X-files storyline dissipated when Mulder left.

I like having a boy’s leg around me when in bed.

I dislike having a boy’s arm around me in bed because I can’t move (although the thought is extremely nice)

I dislike people who ask if “i’m sure.” more than once (i.e. are you sure? are you sure? YES I’M SURE!)

I like receiving a wedding invitation from a childhood friend

I like to suck and chew on ice

I dislike feeling a chip on a tooth on my right

I like eating chicken nuggets with the skin around it first, then taking off the top and then the bottom and saving the leftover meat for last.

I dislike the calorie contents in nuggets

I like cold soggy fries

I dislike when you leave fries at home and everyone eats it and what you have left are the leftover two or three fries at the bottom of the bag.

I like to do around the world on the step when I am doing step aerobics

I dislike that when you are too tired on the step, you tend to go the wrong way

I like watching the people in the front of the hip hop class give it their all with the new hip hop routine

I dislike looking at myself in the mirror while doing a routine

I like to beat out drum beats along the sides of a treadmill

I dislike when the treadmill needs your heart rate in order for you to do the fat burner program

I like to laugh so hard that I cannot tell a story that I think is funny

I dislike when people think my laugh is too loud

I like the sudden death overtime in hockey

I dislike it when a hat is worn backwards

I like getting those sleep marks on your face

I dislike waking up in the morning and my nose is itchy

I like being so engrossed in a book that you find you spent the last 4 hours reading

I dislike being interrupted by a phone call when reading an engrossing book where in another instance, you would have welcomed the call

I like making my lists of likes

I dislike that I know I have better ones and it will have to wait for next time. (the nyquil is taking effect)

Watch Amelie for better idiosyncracies.

Posted in Creative Effort, Nonsensical, Pop Culture

a poem written for me

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

Into the woods

She frolics along,

No care in the world

Singing her song.

Sharon is her first name,

And Mayo is her last.

Her pace suddenly quickens,

From frolic to fast.

What is the reason

For the sudden change in speeds?

Something is lurking

In the dark, distant weeds.

It hides in the dark,

Behind tree trunks and logs.

It searches for things to eat,

Sometimes human, sometimes frogs.

What creature exists,

In the woods at night?

Slithering and sliding,

To avoid the sunlight.

He has big eyes,

And a single strand of hair.

Only skin and bone,

For his body is bare.

What name does one give

To a creature so foul?

He will tear off your limbs

And rip out your bowel.

He sees Sharon running,

As he sits there looking solemn

The name he hath been given

Is the one they call Gholum.

He calls for his Precious,

As Sharon continues to run

But Gholum stays put

Sharon is running in the sun.

Gholum screams for his Precious

“Where is my damn ring?!”

No one to answer him

Sharon dares not to sing.

Out of the forest

Comes a long a Dark Rider

Sharon stops in her tracks

“Where is my Stryder?”

All of a sudden birds appear

From the trees come sparrows,

A man steps out of the woods

With a bow and some arrows.

The man is an Elf

Legolas is his name,

Killing the Dark Riders

Is the name of his game.

Legolas sees Sharon running through the woods

He saves her with his usual flair

Because he knows is he does she’ll give him the goods

When he gives her his wanting stare

They leave the forest hand in hand

With his bows and arrows in tow

Legolas lifts Sharon off from the land

And they leave towards the horizon before the sun gets too low

hee hee hee. Okay, Mr. Hendrickson wrote the bulk of this poem but I wrote the end (obviously)

I’m hungry. Stupide diet. Oh, and hip hop class ROCKS! I think I worked out my abs laughing to myself. (man, those girls in the front MEAN BUSINESS!)

Posted in Nonsensical, Topical

chess blows!!!

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

So it’s 11:45 p.m. and a friend and I were supposed to play a game of chess via internet. Well, apparently he did some illegal operation (oooh…) and had to close his windows and now, I’m just sitting here, staring at this screen, waiting for him to sign back on. I didn’t know playing chess would be such a mission. He better get back here before midnight or I’m going to kick his ass (or in his words: arse)

Speaking of which, he lost a bet!! Whoo-hoo! Thank you Raiders, thank you for sucking ass. 🙂 Of course, I’m a chargers fan, so I have to hate the Raiders but look at the goodies I get:

  1. Dinner at a steak place
  2. a bouquet of flowers (I specified DAISIES or TULIPS…but I hope it’s a mixture of both. Hmm… I wonder how that would look like?)
  3. a dvd. I’m hoping for X-files: fight the future, but I’m also half contemplating getting Any Given Sunday in honor of the football game.

I also won 20 bucks but that was because my friend Jirrah bet me on the second quarter (she should’ve known by then…it WAS 33 to 3)

Oh, he’s back online. Get back to you guys later. Gotta go kick his butt in chess 🙂 He’s a competitive one (or so he says..yeah RIGHT!)

Posted in Road Trippin'

FUCK IT, i’m going to Julian

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I think it’s because I drink water all the time now. Yes, people, since December 15, I have quit drinking diet coke. I sort of had to, doctor’s orders since I have a dysfunctional heart and all. But inadvertently, since I only drink water (and lactose fat-free milk with my cereal…I’m starting to fall in love with cereal again. Weird huh?) I’ve started losing weight. what a concept! It’s pretty cool.

Every now and then, though, I’ll drink a caffeine free diet coke. I feel such a hypocrite though, because any drink with more than two words should be illegal (I worked at starbucks, I should know) but alas, just the fakeness of it all has to balance all the genuiness (genuiness?) I possess. hee hee hee

I went to Julian the other day. It was so weird. I was driving on the freeway around 10 in the morning– going to work to catch up on some stuff and I said FUCK IT, I’m going to Julian. Of course, a lot of it was because I was jamming to my newly made Mellow Rock cd and I wanted to listen to it whilst driving through the curvy roads of the Julian mountain area. I’ve never been to Julian so it felt very…very….I guess, authentic? Next time I go, I’m going to get one of those famed apple pies.

So the Superbowl is coming up. I have several bets on the line. One of ’em, is at the office. It’s this weird box thing where you pay 4 bucks a square (I bought 4) and there’s numbers on the side of the box. You win 100 bucks every quarter if the number you have on each box (You know, those matrices things) matches the score after each quarter. and it has to be the end number. So say, if, I have the number 2 and 4 from one of my boxes. The score would either have to be 2 to 4 or 12 to 14 or 22 to 74 (I’m assuming that is how much the raiders will lose 22 to 74. hee hee hee) but anyway, wish me luck because I have to take some friends out for a couple of steak dinners (something I owed from a while back)

Now I feel pressured to go to a superbowl party. I’m going to feel so lame if I’m home by myself on superbowl sunday! That’s it, I’m off to make hasty plans…any plans.

p.s. I actually don’t feel crappy. I wanted to see what my face would look like

Posted in Nonsensical, Topical

those guys on the corners

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I was driving by Mission Valley and have you seen those people who are holding big arrows pointing to places to rent out? And they spin those arrows around and around? What a LAME job! I felt really sorry for them and wonder how they don’t get bored. I wonder how much they get paid. It certainly must not be enough. They also had so many of them (like 4 of them, one on each street corner) …so this made me wonder… does this type of publicity actually work? I mean, they’re everywhere! I don’t think they would use such methods unless it worked. That’s just sad I think.

Also, have you seen the trailer for Darkness Falls. Okay…ENOUGH of the spooky psychic children. It’s been done. That’s what I hate about hollywood, they’ll beat a dead horse to the ground. Is that the right metaphor? Anyway, we saw THE RING and we saw THE SIXTH SENSE..we got the point…move on. I’ll even say this, I would rather watch Final Destination 2 (even though I haven’t seen the first one) because it seems a lot scarier that the aforementioned piece of crap. Sorry people, I’ve just seen that commercial WAY too many times. I don’t even remember ever seeing it at the theater…ah, whatever.

I’m half distracted because Jean Luc Picard is telling the story of Gilgamesh and Akidu at Uruk. Hmmm… I should’ve paid attention in English class then I would know what he was talking about. Oh well. I guess I’ll have to read it on my own.

I hate the Raiders. I hope they cry at the Superbowl. I hope they cry to their mommies.

I have to say, I’ve been in the best mood than I have been in a long time. It has to do with several factors which I won’t get into right now but I’m sure the future will reveal itself (ooh, cryptic).

Hmm…what else? I practically killed myself yesterday. My poor legs. I was trying to complete Lake Miramar yesterday and oops, I forgot the dam was closed, so I had walked 4.5 miles and had to turn around and walk 4.5 more. I guess it would been okay if it was a leisurely stroll but I was in a hurry to get something to eat (hmmm..lasagna) and I was afraid to get the good ol’ farmer’s tan.

Oh, and one more thing, I bought the box set of 24. That crap is CRAZY. Sometimes I can’t stop watching the show at the end because of those darn cliffhangers. So, I will stop it and then play it (because I have to know what’s going on!) and then jump up and down and scream (but not REALLY scream) and wait through the dramatic stress of Jack Bauer.

Oooh! guess what people! I’m going to see the Kurosawa film festival next month…and YOU’RE NOT! It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry, I’ll tell you the excitment that is Kurowsawa (I don’t know what the excitement is yet. I don’t think, oops, I’ve seen a Kurosawa film. I think I should do my research. I guess Seven Samarai weekend) but, he was a great name in film school and I hold my head down in shame that I do not know any of his works…and yet I know Spielberg’s….where did I go wrong???

Oh, I talked to my friend Lauren the other day and I said I was hella broke and she said “You’re saying hella now? WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?!” Damn you california vernacular!!

btw, I heard the sweetest thing last night. “Good night my sharona” Aww…that is just too much 🙂

okay, I’m going to listen to “Your Body is A Wonderland” I’m sorry people, that is like such a romantic song. Well, I THINK so. I’m trying to convince my sister to learn it on guitar so she can sing it to me (hee hee hee) but she refuses. Man, what… how can you not like the lyric “I won’t let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it”…HELLO! He’s all about using his hands (damn that John Mayer) Okay, I’m all wound up, it must be watching those 24 episodes. I’m going to do yoga (okay, I don’t know how to do yoga but who cares. I can fake it)

Posted in Sports, Topical

hockey!

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

It was my brother’s birthday Friday night. While my father and I planned to take him out to dinner, my boss asks me if I want to go to a hockey game. I call my brother to see if he wants to go as well and he says yes.

I am now a fan of hockey games.

I’ve never been to a hockey game before so this was exciting. It’s just as cool as baseball games and if I dare say it…maybe even cooler. Hockey is addicting. Although we got CREAMED (Idaho Steelheads 3, San Diego Gulls 0) I had a really good time. The fans are funny too and a bit harsh. One of the Steelheads was badly injured. Now at a football game people would be like “Uh-oh, I hope he’s okay” Not at a hockey game. I heard comments such as “What a girl!” “Get up you wussy!!” “If you can’t hack it, don’t play!” and my brother and I looked at each other. I say “Dude, I thought that injury was brutal” and he says “I feel sorry for them. The fans are crazy” But I think I’m going to actually make an effort to go to more games. They’re bunches of fun. And I got a knit cap.

Also, girls reading this, if you want hot guys…I swear they’re at hockey games. And not many girls go thus, not much competition. But I was like, DAMN all these hot guys. Basically hockey games consist of fathers and daughters and/or sons and young men with other young men. It was great eye candy. Another excuse to go to hockey games.

What else? I bought several new books to read over the weekend. And oops. I went Ikea.

Ikea is evil. and Ikea has too many people. Have you ever noticed Ikea or Walmart are stores that are NEVER DEAD? It’s always crazy busy. It sort of drives me nuts.

Anyway, to fight the seduction of Ikea, I watched Fight Club this morning. I am not the money in my bank account. I am not my pants. I am not my furniture. heh heh heh

Posted in law firm, Locales, San Diego, Topical

what is up with the dirty rain?

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

At first I thought it was just my car but I went to the bank today and DUDE, everyone’s car has dirty rain. What is up with that?

So I went a few outings this weekend. On Saturday I went to the mystery murder dinner thing. It was tons of fun. I was Dr. Pratkiss…yes, I was a guy. My name was Malcolm but people call me Mal. Those board games can be so clever sometimes.

I think the population of cats is multiplying exponentially. It seems that every house I go to has a cat. I am, apparently, deathly allergic to cats and I’m running out of Allegra. This sucks. What’s even suckier (suckier?) is that Allegra is expensive and I like cats and cats like me but the histamines blocker thingys in my immune system does not. Aye carumba.

Last night I went to an Open Bar “Invite Only” party. Woaaah, invite only, I must be the shit.

It’s true, I am.

Just kidding. One of the lawyers at the firm was invited because she’s a regular and invited me to come along. Hanging out with Jill is super cool. I’ve been hanging out with my co-workers Jill and Kaytee. The funny thing/weird thing is, that I’m in the middle (age wise…Jill is 30, Jen is 28, and Kaytee is 21) and yet, at clubs/bars, I sort of feel the most prudish. It’s interesting to be able to point and say “I’m going to sleep with that man tonight” Not that they have done that in my presence but I’ve heard stories of days past when they did that. I suppose sleeping with a lot of people is kosher nowadays. If I could make some sort of shrug here, I would.

Anyway, Kaytee got belligerently drunk (which she rarely gets, usually it’s me) and she was going to throw up in the bathroom. Long story short, some girl (some SHORT girl) started literally “talking shit”. I can’t believe they were arguing about the bathroom line. Anyway, she leaves, brings her OTHER short friend, and they both start talking shit. Then, while kaytee is in the stall, throwing up, this short girl comes up to me and says “And your her friend? What a bitch” and I’m like..what the fuck?! I just stared at her and said nothing because in my mind, why would I give her the honor of wasting my breath. Then this girl walks out and gets not one but TWO bouncers to regulate…what..Kaytee’s puke? Especially since Kaytee ended up not puking. Whatever. In retrospect, it was quite funny and Kaytee was completely and utterly drunk at the point she was slurring and screaming after the fight. I think she told me about the argument (which I was there) six times. But I’m not annoyed at all, it’s just good old fashioned stuff you have to live through fun. Kaytee ended up crashing at Jill’s (where Jill was drunk as well) We put a glass PASTA BOWL next to the couch so Kaytee could hurl in it. I don’t know what we were thinking.

Speaking of which, I have never noticed how freaking FAR Pacific Beach is. Dude, I swear I’m driving to L.A. A lot of it is because I live was in the boonies, near Spring Valley so everything that just to be 5 minutes away is 45 minutes away. I am now officially sequestered from the friends of yore and am forced to make new friends in this new biosphere I call home (I’m being dramatic here folks)

EVIL

That is what I am. I am evil. I went with a guy for some coffee talk (we went to a coffee shop) and he is terribly friendly and we have a lot in common and he makes me laugh…but something is missing. Usually, usually on the first date, I can tell if I can get into this guy and I don’t think I can. I don’t want to blow him off but I think I might be leading him on. I didn’t have the heart to give him the “handshake” and gave him a hug. Aw man, I’m so evil. I feel so guilty. How do you tell a guy, seriously, that it’s not them but you? That is such the cop-out. Maybe I haven’t given him the chance, so I guess I’ll continue and stuff but, seriously, it takes a lot of energy. I wish guys and girls had like microchips and all you had to do was plug it in your brain so the whole “interview” process could be done and over with. I don’t know. I’m tired.

But I suppose I shouldn’t complain because it could easily be the opposite. But take it from me people, ONE PERSON AT A TIME.

Just reflecting on these 2 has made me unable to utilize aldjf ew my manual.s sdj ffjeoiw dexterity…must…sleep…now

p.s. did I mention I got a new red hot chili peppers cd? That shit is addicting! John Frusciante is hella hot and Flea is the best bassist EVER!

Posted in Nonsensical

two thousand and…three?

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I have to agree with my friend John, this is an underwhelming year. Or better yet, in his words:

(i must say i am underwhelmed with the number 2003. i
mean the last three years were 2000, 2001 and 2002, which is a
palindrome, and thus interesting. 2003 has nothing!)

i haven’t gotten the package you sent yet, but i will let you know as
soon as it arrives.

dude! i got those stain resistant pants for christmas, they totally
rule. i dumped a glass of champagne on myself yesterday on purpose.
fantastic!

..I added his comment on stain resistant pants because I thought it was funny. MAN! I want stain resistant pants! I could spill things on them all day.

I remember when I was in college (I can’t believe I can actually say that phrase.. Remember when I was in college??) and I kept spilling things on my shirts. And I said “God damnit, I’m just going to come out with a line of shirts with spills on ’em!” Y’know, so it would be cool/kosher to have shirts with spills on them. I think they would be HUGE! Why hasn’t anyone come up with this great idea? You would have ketchup stain, mayonnaise stain, ..etc..etc. And then I would have special edition shirts, like, alien brain splatter, “sexual” splatter (I would have to sneakily sell that undercover of course), and Almond Roca chocolate stains (because it’s hard to stain with those things).

Speaking of which, when I was in San Francisco, I was putting on a tanktop, and I swear to god, there was a big ass hole. Now, it wasn’t a hole you could see through my stomach or anything (it was in the stomach region) but something had “burned” through the fibers where, if you put my shirt through the light, there was a hole. And I was like “oh my god”…and Cooper came and looked at it and said “uh-oh…did you have this shirt on whilst doing some sort of sexual activity?” (I”m editing this as best as I could. YOu don’t REALLY want to hear what he said) and I said “Yeah” and he said “Did you NOT take off the shirt for some reason?” and I said “Well, I wasn’t responsible for that department. The guy was trying to take it off..but it just didn’t take. and there was so much going on and I got confused..then…” Cooper smiled and said “RIIIIGHT” So now I can’t wear that black tanktop again I think. Goddamnit. It was my favorite tanktop. I got it at Victoria’s Secret too! (When I had my Victoria’s Secret credit card. Those things are evil especially around the semi-annual sale time…which to me, seems that they have ALL THE TIME?! I’m always getting panties 5 for 25…not that I’m complaining)

I think another comparison of east coast boys versus west coast boys (of course, mind you, there are exceptions). Once a boy has a girlfriend, you never see them again over here. (No, I’m not talking about Tyler for people who think I’m insinuating him, I see him, not as much, but he always makes an effort! Yay Tyler!)

But anyway, once a boy has a girlfriend or whatever (or someone in a similar vein), making any effort to see you or hang with you is gone. Whereas, in New York, they can have girlfriends, but they still want to hang out with you. Or even better, they bring their girlfriends out when hanging with the boys. I think because in New York, I was considered ‘one of the boys’ which I quite enjoyed because I’d hate to think people would exclude me because I am a girl.

Not the case here, since I am neither somebody’s girlfriend (thus eliminating me from the “couple” activities) nor a boy (thus eliminating me from hanging out status), I am just another girl for the next person to fuck. That’s always fun. (this is sarcasm)

But I’m not bitter or anything. Because there will be a day where I will be playing with the big boys in film, and all the other people who once denied me because I was ‘just a girl’ (No Doubt reference) to make a man look good or not ‘one of the boys’ will want to hang out with me later..when I’m rolling in my labours of hard work.

In other news, I’m going to a bizarre party tonight. It’s a “mystery dinner party” and we’re all supposed to be all dressed up/dolled up and someone is going to die. I’m not sure how this is going to work but I’m going to be damned if I’M THE ONLY ONE DRESSED UP! (Now there’s pressure for you) But I think I’ll have a stash of regular clothes in the car just in case.

Hmm..what else? Moving back at home. Eh. Free food. It’s okay. Ironically, I get more phone calls here than I did at my old apartment (that IS ironic) also, I’m more prone to hang out at home because everything is so far from me now, and I have my bro and my dog to hang out with.

Speaking of which, I have named my dog “sally”. It was taking the longest time to name our dog. I wanted Phoebe, my brother wanted Sparky, and my mother wanted either Brownie or Jackie. Finally, I said “It’s Sally” and when I explained from the character in When Harry Met Sally (which my whole family likes that movie) they all agreed it was cool for the dog.

Okay, Sally, get ready for a bizarre ride. My family is weird.

Posted in Locales, Road Trippin', San Fran

I’ve moved back home. It’s pretty lame.

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

sorry peeps, I’ve been crazy busy as of late, so of course my online journal entries of exciting stuff has been MIA. I don’t know what I’m saying cause I’m at my parents house.

Yes, I’ve moved back home. It’s pretty lame. Oh well. At least I don’t have to pay for rent and only a little bit of food (my mom likes to cook ham. I hate ham. So I buy my own food) and my little brother is pretty stoked so he won’t be alone all the time. He’s quite the little man I think. He’s involved with basketball and football (he’s a little linebacker..tee hee) and he’s always at my beck and call. I got him trained all right.

We went to eat chinese food for dinner (because my mom cooked ham, yuck) and he was telling me that he was happy to give up his room to me because he’s always home alone. My parents both work like crazy hours…about 60 hours a week for both so my brother is always home alone. He tells me it makes him really angry and I said “why?” and he said “I don’t know why. It just makes me mad” That’s interesting to me because my sister and I have always been left home alone as well but when we were my brother’s age, we sort of had each other. Well, not really. I wanted to go out on my own and I hated dragging my little sister around. But still, I think it’s because we brought up ourselves that we’re so “independent.” so I don’t see why our parents should be pissed when we don’t want their advice on life. It’s a growing situation I suppose. And from what I hear, it seems my parents grew up the same way..parents working all the time. But I can’t be angry because they work all the time to support us.

Anyway, we got a new dog. THAT makes me angry because I don’t think this family can take care of a dog. I wanted to return it but GODDAMNIT, it was too damn cute. I’m naming it Sally after the movie When Harry Met Sally. Sally Albright is our dog’s name. She is so unbelievably cute. I can’t believe her. And feisty too. And I stepped on her poop the other day. Yuck. Well, on the lighter side, she’s still a puppy so it was tiny poop but imagine my poor foot. I sanitized the shit out of it. (ha, ha, ha. I’m so clever)

I went to San Francisco on the 26 to the 29th. Whew, I learned a lot of things about myself and my best friend. If she is reading this, you need to calm down the backseat driving yo! But I got to see my closest guy friend on the east coast, mr. cooper g and I got to meet his new girlfriend Angie, who, from knowing most of his past girlfriends, is the most down to earth. Good choice.

Unfortunately, I was sickly. But I was like, goddamnit, I’m going to have a good time if it kills me. And it practically did. I took Dayquil, Antibiotics, Allegra (to do some double power on the sneezing) cough drops, and something else. I forget. Anyway, so I’m on all these drugs and Cooper and his brother Alex took us to Buena Vista Park (it looked like a forest to me) and we were climbing to the top of the hill. I was breathing like a mad man and I said “You guys are going to kill me! You know that my heart is dysfunctional and I’m on 18 million drugs!” and of course, they were all high so the laughed me right out of the forest. Yeah, smoked the ghanja before leaving. Bastards. So I was the only sober one. But it was cool cause …I was sick I guess. I don’t know I’m talking out of my ass.

San Francisco. Who’s great idea was to build a city on top of these steep ass hills? If I were learning stick shift in that city, I think I would have a heart attack. But do you know any other city with these crazy steep hills? I think not.

I saw CHICAGO while I was up in san fran and that movie is crazy. I’m not sure what to think of it just yet. Musical theatre converted to film is a difficult transition I think but I think they did a good job. It’s just weird to see…musical theatre in film. Catherine Zeta Jones was fucking awesome. She would be the one who convert me to a lesbian if she wanted me. Maybe not. Because I would be too intimidated by her sophistication and have low self-esteem because she is 80 million times more beautiful than me and that accent. But still, she is so unbelievably beautiful. If I had her beauty, intellect, style, and talent (watch her dance and sing, she’s is fucking brilliant), I might use those powers for evil. But she hasn’t yet. Good for her.

Christmas in general was crazy. Last minute shopping and moving out of the apartment and getting ready for the san fran trip and moving out of our offices in the law firm…and being sick. I think I almost died. I think I used up 7 of my nine lives in the past 10 days.

Last note of the night. When we drove hom from san fran, we decided to take the 101/1 highway which is probably the most beautiful highway to ever take. I absolutely loved it. Especially with Blackaliciouis and the Eagles on full blast. If I ever get serious with a guy, we are definitely going on the that highway and make out like crazy (tee hee) and some other stuff. And we’re going to Hearst castle. But I’m getting ahead of myself…once again.

So new year’s is here. I’m going to lose weight. No question about it. Watch me. I will prove you guys who doubt me ALL wrong. By march I should be 3 sizes smaller. heh heh heh. I’m an evil woman. And of course i will not be using dietary supplements because of my heart.

Anyway, My heart and I have to rest now. I’m going to use my heart as an excuse for EVERYTHING. Except for roller coasters of course. I scream my lungs out to make sure my heart doesn’t take a beating (ha, ha, ha, I crack myself up)

Goal of the year: to learn “norweigian wood (this bird has flown)” on the guitar.