Minimal Effort

I’m too tired to update with anything cool (I say this as if I actually update with anything cool)
So, instead, my tired brain will do this thingy:

—5 things that you’re wearing:—

1. a black tanktop (with a built in sports bra!)
2. underwear
3. my glasses
4. pajama pants
5. uh, nail polish on my toes?

—5 things you’re doing right now:—

1. typing this …this is such a cliche answer–so, um, thinking of a different answer…looking at the time spent on my phone from my previous phone call.
2. watching some thing on Michael Jackson (more on THAT later) and the moonwalk
3. chatting online with Sandy
4. drying my hair (air dry)
5. thinking about doing my laundry

—5 things you ate in the last 24 hours:—

1. corn on the cob
2. hashbrowns
3. chicken
4. shrimp
5. a biscuit

—5 things you did so far today:—

1. chatted online
2. went to work
3. got gas (this is a boring list)
4. sang “So Happy Together” by the Turtles in the shower
5. watched “Enough” with Jennifer Lopez (I had enough)

—5 things you can hear right now:—

1. Corey Feldman gave his phone number to Michael Jackson on the set of the Goonies.
2. the im chime “doodle-oop” go off from lobsterchick
3. the whirring of my computer
4. the clacking of my keys
5. the applebee’s jingle.

—5 thoughts that are in your head:—

1. I am SOO fucking nervous to move.
2. Told one job I’m moving, one more to go.
3. I wish I had something cool to write on my diary.
4. I’m hungry. When is jennifer going to call me?
5. Jennifer just called me. I’m going to Denny’s at 9:30p.m. I have to dry my hair.

—5 things that you look for in a guy:—

1. someone with an unbelievable dry sense of humour…or who can make me laugh (this is SOOO important, you don’t even know)
2. someone who would helped me move film equipment (one of my past boys didn’t. it made me sad)
3. someone who likes to banter. (one of my past boys would just let me win all the time, that was sad)
4. someone who doesn’t hold me back.
5. someone taller than me (sorry short boys)

–5 people/things you love:–

1. stand up comedians with fresh material
2. film
3. duh, my friends
4. driving my car
5. my future roomies. even ready.

Maybe I’ll update again later to make up for this lame one.

You know what I hate about cds?

When they don’t have lyrics in the their liner notes.

I swear this overpublicizing thing for Britney has some sort of subliminal message to buy her goddamned cd. I sort of turn on autopilot and head to Tower Records.

Must buy crappy cd, must buy crappy cd, must buy crappy cd.

I hold my new “In the Zone” cd and every now and then, I’ll look up in confusion–then I’m back “In the Zone” with Britney.

So, this new song she did, with Madonna. I was really looking forward to singing the fast part–because all I say when I sing (very badly, mind you) in the car is blahblahblahblahblahblah in the zone, you wanna get in the zone. I swear, if you were to lower the volume in my car while I was singing this song, I would probably be speaking Gaelic or Timbuktu (wait, isn’t Timbuktu or Timbucktoo called something else now?). I might even be doing the mating call to siamese cats.

Regardless, part of my goal in buying this cd was to find out WHAT THE FUCK SHE IS SAYING ABOUT BEING IN THE ZONE.

Ah, Britney. I simulataneously (I have this feeling towards many other people) hate you and love you. I secretly want to be you. Except for cheating on Justin. What the FUCK were you thinking? At LEAST you could’ve made it a threesome. Then you would’ve REALLY been in the zone.

I am telling my bosses tomorrow that I’m quitting. I’m nervous. I hope they don’t slap me to…Timbukto, Timbuck fucking three (however you spell it) or the artist formerly known as Timbucktoo/two/to.

I read two fucking diaries tonight to review. I usually read diaries rather fast but writing about them is another story. Where are all the good fucking diaries? I want to a diary to move me. I want a diary to make me fucking want to…I don’t know, get me in the zone.

Goddamn you Britney.

I was IMed up the wazoo today because I have been MIA. Mostly by my California people who swear they haven’t seen me in months. It made me feel loved. Someone who wants to win a Nobel Peace Prize should work on beaming people so I can have these people visit me anytime.

Apparently, 8000 people are going to visit me in Boston. Oh god, just wait till my roommates see my “Californian” tendencies come out. It’s sort of like an accent, the explicit vernaclar just sort of comes out of nowhere. Tyler and I were talking today and we just kept saying “totally” and “yo” and “West Coast Represent!” in every other sentence.

I have this terrible habit of making fun of silly slang and then end up overutilizing it until it’s a permanent part of my vocabulary. I’m going to pick a new word, a weird word, and try to get all my roomies to say it.

Lisanator misses me. That poor girl. It must be hard to be without the fun-filled conversations and equally bad SCII partner. I’m jealous, she played or Josh, her man, played the Weapon Master version and now there’s this new character called Cervantes.

I just noted that the aforementioned paragraph was the dorkiest paragraph ever.

I wonder if my overexposure to my roomies will make me the biggest dork ever.

My new favorite diary is John’s. (I also like this diary because, goddamn, I’ve got good taste) No, not Kerbang but another one who talks extensively or I should say, chastises me extensively online. Hmm.. I should do an entry on online people. Next time.

Anyway, John requested that we make mixed cds for each other. I am totally stoked. My cd is going to be so badass that he is going to want to fly his ass out here and become my sex slave.

Speaking of sex slave, I will not have one anytime soon. I gained about 50 gazillion pounds flying from the east coast to the west coast. How many calories are in those damned peanuts? It could be the California thing or the fact that every pound in the California metric system is actually 10 pounds. I am literally 300 pounds in California metrics.

I wish I had cornrows. Okay, not really. I don’t know why I said that.

I am tired.

I just got back from Boston. It’s not actually Boston, it’s Malden, which I believe is a little north of Boston.

But you know what? If I said that my new place of residence was Malden, you would say “where is that?” and I would say “near Boston” and then you would say “Oooh”

So I just say, I’m moving to Boston.

Wilbur commented that the quality of my writing style is going downhill on diaryland. Maybe I should try to fix my word choice a little bit.

But, he’s been spoiled because I would severely concentrate on composing the perfect email(s) to him and now he expects it all the time.

I will miss him and all the other bastards I’m leaving behind.

I’m fucking HOT. Temperature wise. When I went to the car (My friend gina picked me up) I was HOT and she was wearing a jacket. It’s was 65 degrees at 8pm at night.

My internal temperature gage (gauge?) is all screwy.

Yesterday, I committed a terrible sin.

I went into downtown Boston and I smoked two cigarettes. BAH! Damn me!

And I was doing so well.

What happened was this:

I was cooped up in the apartment ALL FUCKING DAY.

I played free cell (a card game) on my computer and listened to all my cds for a couple of hours.

I went to a grocery store to buy magazines and walked home drenched because it began to rain.

Then, I hung out with Risanator and Josh for a bit, played with Kevin on SCII (Soulcaliber–which I found out recently is only ONE word, not two), had Gump take me out for food, played more SCII with Kerbang.

Everyone went their separate ways and I just kept walking up and down the stairs, going crazy from being in the house all day.

I even said this “I canNOT wait to get home” –that being San Diego.

This worried Risanator: when she dropped me off she said “You’re coming back right? You’re excited about coming back, right?” and I said “Of course” and then she hugged me goodbye. I love this woman.

This worried Kerbang: He said “Why?” and I said “because I’m cold” and he said “You KNOW you’re moving here, right” and I said “I know” and gave some sort of explanation why I said that.

This worried Gump: We had a good long talk the night before I left and basically went over the whole “california” entry he wrote. He felt bad that I was cooped up in the house and said he would leave his door open the next morning so I could watch cable television and use his internet.[sidenote: I ended up not using it because I, the idiot, couldn’t figure out how to turn on his computer. It kept saying it was on power save]. This was such a generous gesture. I DID, however, got to watch Unzipped, no, Revealed with Jules Asner on Rob Lowe. That made me suprisingly giddy.

This, yes, even worried Kevin: When I was leaving for downtown Boston, he said “Where are you going?” and I said “I just need to leave for a bit”. When I came back, he went into my room and said “Where did you go?” again. I thought it was nice that he cared (or seemed to anyway).

But here’s the deal (especially for the roomies, since 75% of them read this diary):

I was not working for a week, which is fucking LONG to me.

My stuff was not there.

I had no cable, no internet, no dvds, no books

It was raining outside

I had no car

Everyone had things to do.

I love the roomies but I didn’t want them to feel they had accommodate me all the time nor babysit. Not that I felt that they were babysitting, but it was just a long time without the internet.

And so I smoked.

I felt so guilty about it though and told Gump and Risanator when I got back.

I think Risanator said “Well, make sure you don’t tell Kerbang, he’ll rip another asshole into you.”

Gump said “Yeah, one of his lectures would make anyone quit two times over” (or something like that).

Maybe he won’t read this entry and I can still have one asshole.

But then again, he’s 3000 miles away, so like he could REALLY do any damage. Wait a minute, what am I talking about? I could easily beat him up.

More details about Boston (Malden) tomorrow. I didn’t get to write about my observations from being so severed.

Once I get my stuff over there though, it is SOOOO on.

Rad.

I’m waiting for Lisa.

It is nearly 3 in the morning and I am quite tired, but what the hell. Go diaryland!

I am in Boston. A couple of things:

* It is obvious that I am not from around here.

* I am cold

* Okay, there’s this pronunciation thing that bothers me:

Worchester: you’d THINK it would be prounounced WAR-CHESS-TER. But nope, it’s pronounced Wooster. like, the bird that goes cock-a-doodle-doo.

Peabody: Prounounced PEE-BAH-DEE. Nope, it’s prounounced, Pee-biddy, or something like that. Like P. Diddy’s alter ego.

* The washer and the dryer are in…the bathrooms? WHAT? [okay, I might be ignorant, but ours are in the garages, like every other person I know]. That’s REALLY BIZARRE.

Christine is so happy that I’m going to be here. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and I won’t either, so it will be good times.

Lisanator (Lisa) is absolutely rad. I liked..no LOVED her immediately. One of the coolest girls I’ve met in a long time. I mentioned that we should wear prom dresses and play video games in the common room to freak everyone out and she was all for it. She rocks so hard, she needs a camera phone (long story)

Kerbang is hilarious and great company as usual. He gets rather talkative when he is slightly inebriated and leaves long phone messages, but that’s part of his charm. We came up with an EXCELLENT plan to take crazy pictures of all the roommates in cheesy poses: a) all dressed up b) in haggard clothing c) naked (okay, HE wanted the naked pictures, not me)

Gumphood, I’m not so sure about. I thought he liked me but apparently from his journal entry, he made it seem like I came off as superficial and materialistic. Oh GOD, if he knew my FRIENDS! I am (as you Californians who read this) as they know, the LEAST materialistic– I spend all my money on dvds, cds and diet coke.

However, before I flew out here, I went out to Old Navy for a winter/fall clearance sale and just happened to get this like “I’m high maintenance jacket” that everyone in California wears.

Oh, not Boston.

And it was OBVIOUS. OBVIOUSLY ridiculous. Like, I wore it in California and people loved it.

I wore it here, and oh god. Like nobody stands out that much. Everything is gray.

Kerbang even commented how my gloves matched my jacket and how “Oh, she must’ve just bought it”

However, I think Gumphood just thinks I’m like that all the time. Oh, wait till he finds out that I only have 3 outfits and finds out how often I buy dvds.

The thing, I will comment on though, is I really like the people I met thus far. They’re really nice. Especially the girls (I’ve only met Lisa and Gumphood’s girlfriend)– they really come off genuine.

Anyway, this is the most boring entry EVER.

I bought Soul Caliber II. My goal? To be the ultimate Soul Caliber II champion in the apartment.

in the apartment.

the apartment.

the—

I am again, waiting for Lisa. We are going to go out to eat. I’m so glad there is one other hot girl in the house (ha ha ha)

In my previous entry, I talk about my roommates (or soon to be roommates, although they all treat me like I’m living here already, awww) but I didn’t mention one of them.

They call him Ready.

Ready to tell tall tales it seems (go alliteration!)

He is quite an interesting character, as with everyone in the house, however, I feel two things about him:

1. I feel sort of sorry for him. Obviously, he must have low self esteem for him to have his stories full of hyperbole in order for him to come off as interesting. If he was really confident in himself as a person, he would just be able to NOT tell such exaggeratory anecdotes.

2. There’s (an evil) part of me that wants to mess with him– he seems too much of an open target.

When I went up to take a shower, he was walking around with no shirt on. He says “Sorry that I’m naked”

My FIRST instinct was to look him up and down and lick my lips and say “Oooh, there’s nothing to be sorry about”…maybe run my finger down his arm. heh heh heh.

Of COURSE, I was a good girl and I actually said “Oh, it’s all right, I’ve lived with many guys before”

And so I have…but more on that later.

I also met Unclepumpkin. I think he was nervous (from what Kerbang tells me) that he has been hyped up so much that I was expecting this Greek God. No, I wasn’t. Gump prepared me (which, he DOES have a good point) that he probably looked like any other person in California.

And he did. He looked like one of my many friends I party with.

Now, I guess living in California, I never REALIZED how obsessed we are with looks. We are REALLY obsessed.

My friends are all buff. We go to parties and they compete on who has the bigger guns (biceps), they jump over bonfires, they play guitar, they are all engineers or computer geeks. It’s quite a crazy phenomenom.

Who has the classy clothes, who has the best haircut, who has the fastest car. I think I know about cars a tiny bit more than people here, because all of my friends constantly tell me.

But, it’s not a vocal competition, it’s undercover.

However, on a positive note. When I’m in California, I feel like the fattest thing on EARTH. I need to lose fifty pounds. Here, in Boston, I feel…actually, NORMAL. Like I only have to lose 20 pounds. I feel if I lost the amount of weight that I previously thought I needed, I would be too cold and people would think me anorexic.

Conversely, if I lost 50 pounds in California, I would be thought of as hot.

Oh, the options.

I like to silently take notes..or how Kerbang said “You’re silently judging me!” Which, I don’t THINK I am doing. I was looking at Gump’s dvd collection. Although, it is rather small, I was very happy with his collection and he pointed out (the two worst ones he had) that they were included with the dvd player. I was severely impressed that he had Elizabeth.

I really suck at video games here. Those bastards. However, this is quite exciting because usually people around here are up for a game, and at home, I always had to wait for my sister. I have the most fun playing with Lisa since we both don’t know all the damned secret moves in Soul Caliber II.

Another rambling entry from a rambling stomach (i’m hungry)

I will return on Tuesday…where I will retire in the West as Galadula. Queen of the Water Rings.

Yeah, my brain is too cold.

I had a nightmare last night.

I had a nightmare that I went to my new apartment and Gumphood was trying to sell my room in front of me because he wasn’t sure about me as a person. I was like, “Uh…okay.”

It gets worse.

So, I meet Lisa, who really doesn’t like me either. I see Ready in passing and I don’t see Kerbang at all.

Then I look around the apartment and it’s fully old and falling apart, it’s haunted and everything is crooked. I’m thinking “Oh god, WHAT did I get myself into??”

Then, for some odd reason, they (Lisa and Gumphood) decide to take me to a party of some sort.

Oh, and GUESS who I run into?

My ex-boyfriend Steve and his new (super cute) girlfriend. His new girlfriend gives me the eyeball and I’m looking at her back, thinking “I dated him THREE years ago buddy”.

So, of course when I wake up, now I’m SUPER NERVOUS about seeing the apartment.

I’m in Rhode Island right now. We (my friend Christine and I) are going to leave for Boston at 1pm and we are going to meet one of my future roommates, Lisa, at the train stop. After briefly talking to Lisa on the phone, I can tell I like her already.

But, then I had the nightmare…

Well, two things thus far:

It isn’t THAT cold (yet)
I LOVE the accents here!

I went to Dunkin Donuts last night (I guess to see if they were second rate to the New York’s first rate Krispy Kreme donuts) and her accent was beautiful.

One thing I didn’t like, though, is that’s its pronounced SODAS not SODERS.

What the hell?

I am hella tired.

I have to pack and do my resume and clean my room and pay my bills and eat.

Why do I always do this??? GAH. I always pack last minute.

Damn, I wish there were 30 hours in a day.

I’m going to get popeye’s chicken

I’m not going to sleep tonight.

OH SHIT! I have to call one of my roommmates for directions!

this boring was entry (ha ha ha)

I wrote this long ass entry about Massachusetts and Boston and THE BIG DIG and my friend John and his friend Nelly (short for Nelson) and it was witty and clever and exciting and and and…

and I CLOSED IT ON ACCIDENT!!! Goddamnit. Forget it. I took this freaking roadtrip in August and it’s November and I’m still writing about it. I’ll continue on it sporadically but in the meantime…

First off, I was watching television the other day (like I do every day..uh…) and there was a freaking commercial for the ULTIMATE 4-DISK SET of LORD OF THE RINGS.

I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

I knew if I waited patiently that shit would come out. So, here’s the question, should I get the ULTIMATE COLLECTOR’S EDITION (EDITION… EDITION… EDITION… [that is my echo there]) or wait until the box set comes out for the ULTIMATE ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER UNBELIEVABLY EXPENSIVE EVERY HOBBIT’S COMMENTARY AND THEIR SON’S LIMITED COLLECTOR’S EDITION or just buy this one? Hmm. Nevermind, I’ll just get the damn thing cause it’ll be like 3 more years till that comes out. But I knew it. ewwww. I knew it.

I’ve been burned by this damn dvd business before. Anytime a ordinary edition comes out I say to myself “self, there is going to be a better edition coming out” and so I wait and wait. The problem is, if it’s not that problem, most film companies (or their conglomerates) will not invest in special collector’s editions. And I’m a terrible addict. I listen to all the commentaries, I watch all the documentary and behind-the-scenes crap, and peruse through the pictures and I read the talent resumes thingys and see what movies they “forgot” to put on. Anyway, so I pretty much get the collector’s edition.

When the Usual Suspects came out, it had a chockload of features, director and writer commentary and talent stuff and such. Two months AFTER I bought the damn dvd, they come out with a stupid collector’s edition. bastards.

then when I bought Memento. It had a chockload of features and I didn’t think it was THAT popular in the box office (I saw it at the Angelika in nyc) but a YEAR LATER they came out with the stupid super ultra collector’s edition. I don’t want my lame no-feature disk..I want the super ultra.

Here’s the worst one. Swingers. I waited FOR-EV-ER for it to come out in collector’s edition. It’s an underground classic and such and it came out in 1998 or something. Then I said fuck it, I’m getting it. LAST MONTH they came out with not one but two different ones. A special collector’s edition (they are wearing tuxes on the cover instead of Vince Vaughn holding out a martini glass) AND a double disk feature with MADE and SWINGERS on it. I know a plethora of guys who would want that disk set (I bet you they bought both anyway so it sucks)

Speaking of which. If you didn’t know

I got my heart broken.

It blows.

I didn’t really talk about it because I wasn’t ready. But I suppose I am.

Of course I could ramble and ramble about the ramifications and have the reader either feel a) sorry for me or b)anger for making you read my heart’s woes or c)pity for my existence being so pathetic.

But in a nutshell, basically, I’ve had my heart broken before but I’ve been pretty good about springing back to life or making myself busy. Not so this time.

What a bastard (I’ll say this phrase periodically)

We barely see each other now even though the sentiment (as with every dissolution of an intimate relationship) was like I was foreseen as one of his best friends yada yada yada. I knew in my deepest deepest hearts that it was not true. But I decided to wait and see this time.

Well, he never calls me and if we were to hang out, I would have to call him and make an effort. It’s sort of a wound to my ego to be so desperate for me to always make the effort to see him.

In retrospect, I see how it worked…I would (usually) call him and we would talk and he would make a reference or an invitation to come over and eat and watch a movie or hang out or whatever. I even think sometimes I said “aren’t you tired of me yet? Don’t you need some alone time?” and he would say “Just a couple of hours” and I would say “Oh, okay. I’ll give you your alone time” and he would say “I didn’t say all night, I just said a couple of hours. I don’t want to be alone all night” Now when I look back, was that because he wanted some booty or he truly liked my company? I guess I will not know because I have not been to his place since september.

Anyway, on a deeper note (?), I get stuff from my friends like, “I bet you’re being deprived, I bet you miss the sex” And it’s weird but I don’t. I think, in retrospect (when I was picking myself up again), it drove me crazy that he didn’t want to have sex..but he doesn’t want to have sex with ME anymore. And that makes you feel like crap.

It’s that thought that drives me crazy because after a dissolution, I never really miss sex too much because my heart wasn’t in it THAT much. It was but I was more into hanging out and doing stuff (like eating food). Even more, as I write in this journal, he is out having the time of his life, meeting new girls and having fun with friends and such and I sit at home typing this sort of stupid entry but yet cathartic entry because I’ve been internalizing this for a while now and I’m sort of tired of it.

And I suppose in the Swingers mentality I could go out and meet new people and do fun and WHOO-HOO! things but I don’t feel very social lately, I don’t feel like being close to anyone for a while and I know, logically, that is the way things go.

I suppose what made me sad and such (Yes, I cried over this stupid stupid guy) is that he never really needed me. He doesn’t need me now. But through the course of this year and through the course of his actions, he made me believe that I was important to him and I was special. but in the end, I suppose that I was either a very long rebound or hmmm.. I forgot the other option. Everyday it gets a little better and I care about him little less where one day I just won’t care what he does or how he is doing anymore. I’m sure in his big social life, he doesn’t think of me either because he never calls. I refuse to date anyone or get to know anyone new until I am officially in peace with this crap. I wonder when that day will be? (i’m like 90% right now)

god, when did I get this pathetic? I was fine it was just a fling….

Don’t worry people, I won’t be this pathetic forever. Just for a short while until I figure out my head and my heart and put it straight. Getting hurt is good because it builds character (I type this as I roll my eyes though) but sheesh, will people just stop hurting me or is this how the rest of my life will be? eh. I need to figure out how to shorten the hurt. shorten the hurt.

okay, okay, enough of this bullshit. I”m going to learn tai chi.

and I”m really okay people, it’s just some internalizing externalizing
Drama to my mama. Okay, I’m stopping really. really.

really.

p.s. I went on this diet and it sucked so I’m eating like food again.
p.p.s. my eyeball itches. but at least it isn’t my nose.
p.p.p.s. I bought this HUGE crossword book. it’s like 50 gazillion pages. It will take me FOREVER to finish it.

next time, a much more light-hearted subject. promise.

p.p.p.p.p.s. I picked “recumbent” as my mood but I don’t know what that means.

Hey,I’m finding the frequent flounces in flight for feople in fairyland. That was my failed attempt at alliteration.

To the point–> So I read on my sister’s best friend’s diary, the movie soundtrack of YOUR movie.

MY movie, would be an action-packed, NC-17, with some Julie Andrews musical numbers, hilarious (think Old School) romantic comedy, with some Sneakers hacker jargon (probably near the end, when I become a CIA/FBI dual agent, after my sexy sex scene)

Cast of characters:
*ME—Laura Linney (with dark hair of course)
*My love interest—Graham Coxon (lead guitar of Blur. He’s art school scruffy. I’m loving it)
*My other love interest (like, I would really have only ONE?)—Paul Walker (Timeline/Fast and the Furious/Joyride)
*My best friend(s): Miranda from Sex and the City and/or Janeane Garafalo , maybe Catherine Zeta-Jones
*My older brother—Edward Norton
*My father—Will Smith
*Cameos: Ryan Stiles and Chris Rock. Maybe Bernie Mac.

Produced by: Freddie Fields (Glory)
Directed by: David Fincher (Fight Club, Seven)
Score by: James Horner (Sneakers, Glory)

OPENING CREDITS
*** Politik–Coldplay

WAKING UP SCENE
***Hey Ya–Outkast

CAR DRIVING SCENE
***Paint by Numbers–Self

SCHOOL FLASHBACK SCENE
***Valley Winter Song—Fountains of Wayne

NOSTALGIC SCENE
*** Troubled Times by Fountains of Wayne

LOVE SCENE
*** heh heh heh, Closer by Nine Inch Nails

BITTER, ANGRY SCENE
*** Bullet with Butterfly Wings—Smashing Pumpkins

BREAK-UP SCENE
*** Evaporate—Ben Folds Five
Hmmm…Song for the Dumped—Ben Folds Five (I’m breaking up with two guys remember? Only momentarily. We would have the best ex-sex. Or maybe a threesome. Hells yeah!)

NIGHTCLUB/BAR SCENE
*** You Don’t Have to Call by Usher

ACTION/FIGHT SCENE (with that Yuen-Ping choreography)
*** OH god, That Mortal Kombat theme. That shit rocks.

SAD, BREAKDOWN SCENE
*** Flower by The Eels

MELLOW SCENE
*** Coffee and TV by Blur

DREAMING ABOUT SOMEONE
*** Island in the Sun—by Weezer

CONTEMPLATION SCENE
*** Hey Nineteen –Steely Dan (hah hah hah)

CHASE SCENE
*** Skills to Pay the Bills—Beastie Boys

REALIZATION SCENE
*** Don’t Change Your Plans For Me—Ben Folds Five

SAD LOVE SCENE
***Any Sarah McLaughlin song

HAPPY FRIEND SCENE
*** Someday by Sugar Ray

HAPPY LOVE SCENE
*** Hey Leonardo (She Loves Me For Me)—Blessid Union of Souls

WEDDING SCENE
***The Way You Look Tonight – that one guy

DEATH/FUNERAL SCENE
*** Close to You by the Carpenters (I don’t want people to be sad)

CLOSING CREDITS
*** There She Goes by the Boo Radleys (Or the LA’s)
***Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog

This movie would make a total of 18 gabillion dollars. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch something with Kermit the Frog and The Eels in the same movie?
I wanted to add in “Root Down” by the Beastie Boys (‘oh my god, that’s the funky shit!’) but I couldn’t change Skills to Pay the Bills.
Because I got Skillz.
Skills even.

My friend Cooper announced to me, yesterday, that his penis was going to fall off. Actually, he said:

“as I have not fucked in over 8 months!!!!! That is more than twice my last longest period of gamelessness. And did I ever mention that I love fucking more than…. oh God I need to FUCK! What am I supposed to do? All I meet are women I know I’ll dump. Hot women – hot Asian women in particular (why are you all so materialistic and shallow!?!? (you’re an exception of course)) – wont touch me with a ten foot pole: “Me? I’m a filmmaker. Pleased to meet you.” Hah, just tatoo GAMELESS TROUBLE across my fucking face. I’m branded now Sharon. You know what this means: I have to wait for true love. “Fuck,” my penis screams out in pain. “Fuck!!!!!!!!”

That’s pretty much the gist of it all. You know, I nearly died laughing because of this email. Cooper never fails to entertain me. Well, that and…

EIGHT MONTHS?!?! Well, then…I, uh,…well fuck.

I, on the other hand, am losing any sort of entertainment value in my emails. I “used” to be able to be pretty consistent in my email writing and try to spice it up with some creative banter, but alas, I think diaryland is sucking me dry.

Damn you diaryland.

In other news:

Two things occurred last night:

a) I was shopping at Tar-jay (read: Target) last night [btw, I don’t think ANYONE ever calls it Target anymore] for earmuffs and anything of the like.

b) whilst shopping, I got a phone call from one of my future roommates,Gumpness. I got to talk to him and Banger. I’ve decided that Kerbang does not deserve to be called kerbang because he has not lived to up his name but rather, I imagine, is a banger (ha ha ha).

Regardless, many interesting things that I found out: (I note that this is heavy on the colon, brackets and parenthesis entry)

* I have an unusually large head. And it’s square.

I tried on these earmuff things (which, btw, was only $2.49. Things are hella cheap winter-wise in San Diego because probably nobody buys winter things) and I CANNOT rock the earmuffs. My head looks too big, it doesn’t do any justice for my scraggly hair AND do I put is on top of the glasses or below the glasses ear pieces? I just feel like jogging with these earmuffs.

* Massachusetts apparently has the most holidays out of every state.

Now, this I don’t get. Thus far, every person I’ve talked to from MA seems rather intelligent. Come to California, dear lord, we’re dumb as bricks. So, it would seem to me, since they have so many holidays, wouldn’t THEY be dumb as bricks because they are missing all that school? Furthermore, since we celebrate NOTHING here (Columbus Day? Yeah, forget about it, he raped and pillaged. We’re against that shit). Further, we either celebrate Veterans or Labor Day (usually Labor Day) but certainly NOT BOTH! But anyway, because of our lack of holidays, you’d THINK we wouldn’t be dumbasses.

But I think I found out why.

MA has holidays such as “Bunker Hill Day”…which, to me, sounds like a military thing. (I think it has something to do with a battle). So, if they have Bunker Hill Day or say, Treaty of Versailles Day, well OF COURSE, you’re going to know more shit about anything because you have DAYS about them! Are we REALLY going to have Louisiana Purchase Day or we kicked Mexico’s ass with the Mexican Annexation thingy-ma-jiggy (I know nothing)

And this is sad: I was helping my friend Gina study for a test. We were studying out of a 4th to 6th grade book in HISTORY. And I KNOW NOTHING! I was like…who’s that guy? Okay, I’m vaguely familiar.. but I couldn’t remember the 4th president on Mt. Rushmore.

I blame Canada.

Anyway, I felt sort of bad talking to gump and banger because I was partially distracted by trying on galoshes (which, they said, NOT to get. Damn) and unsightly earmuffs (I got them anyway..Hello, $2.49. Oh god, I sound like Courtney Cox-Arquette), so I didn’t get to have a in-depth conversation as much as I would like. Alas, such is the life of David Gale.

After talking with Gump (which, btw ladies, he has a HOT voice, as my friend Gina pointed out. She said he sounded like Luke Wilson. Wait, Owen? No, Luke). However, I think he sounds like Banger or Banger sounds like Gump. Something or other.

I was chatting with Banger about the “wild man” roommate and he was saying how he (the wildman rooommate) was pretty “wild” in comparison to him and Gump. He didn’t seem THAT wild to me (I’ve met him once before and well, he seemed tamer than Wilbur, that’s for sure)…so if HE’S wild, how boring could Gump and Banger be? I pointed this out and he said, in passionate retaliation “We are so NOT boring”

Okay, prove it.

Lastly (this is a longer entry than I thought), I signed up to go to this Howard Dean Meetup tonight. I’m not so sure if I am going to go only because I will know nobody (like that ever stopped me before). I’m primarily doing this out of sheer curiosity. I asked my sister, Jasmine, to accompany me, and she said “no! You’re trying to convert me!” [she doesn’t affiliate with any party and believes politicians are all scum..apolitical stance if you will] and I said “No, just check it out” and she said

and she has a good point here

“You sound like you’re trying to convert me to a religion”

and oh my god, she was right.

Those religious types come up to us and say “hey, we’re not asking you to convert, just check out the church”

Yeah right I’m going to check out the church.

So, I was half-deciding if I should go when, lo and behold, my friend Spencer announced he had bought me a ticket to see Matrix Revolutions tonight.

Matrix or politics…Matrix or politics?

We should find out tomorrow

(Don’t bother–Matrix)