Hells yeah. I’m going to see Dave Attell tomorrow night with Steve. I’m excited. Dave is mad funny.
Okay, this is several hours later that I’m here. I’m going to vent. I am the only one on the fucking phones for the last hour trying to field these stupid california calls on a friday night. goddamnit. I hate it, i hate it, i hate it. Especially when I don’t know what to do….
what the fuck.
i want to go out and forget people who have problems all the time.
GODDAMNIT!
p.s. what a shift in mood!
I injured myself in jiu jitsu class today trying to sweep kevin and my knee went the wrong direction and i fell on top of him.
of course, i was rolling on the ground, clutching my knee. my face was red, not because of pain –and it did hurt– because, HELLO EMBARRASSMENT CITY!
Along with that, i lost my hearing [that happens to me when i’m a) in pain b) in shock or c) having an orgasm. Weird, huh?] and all I saw was red….
i also felt a little lightheaded and that i was going to throw up…i actually felt like i was going to faint but, i said “self, holy shit if you faint, you will look like a) a loser and b) a weakling”…so I don’t know how i did it [i probably looked constipated] but somehow i survived.
one last thing, you know what is the greatest feeling? When you know somebody genuinely cares about you…because that means, if something happens to me, one person is going to try to see what the hell happened to me.
and that feels great that somebody would care that much. i’m feeling cheesy. i’m a dork.
I had a meeting at work today which started at 830 a.m. I usually start work at 10 a.m.
Imagine my dismay to wake up early.
Waking up early is a completely different experience. Usually, when I wake up, everyone is gone. This time, I woke up at 6am and it took me about half an hour to get out of bed. Took a shower [while everyone is still sleeping] and tried looking for my jazzercise tape, so I can do an early morning workout.
As I was doing that, my room smelled a bit musty, so I went up two flights of stairs and searched for a lighter. On the third floor, I saw Paulette, all dressed up and ready to go to work and i heard Kevin talking on the phone about work.
Wow, so things DO happen when I sleep!
I said hi to paulette, who seemed surprised at my early rising and I weighed myself for..fun, I guess.
Went back downstairs to hear Lisa leave. Went to look for my jazzercise tape in a box and Gumphood walks out of his door, surprised at my early rising and takes a shower. I go in the bathroom and down comes Kevin, looking TIRED…and asking if he can use my gel [hmmm…has he been using it every morning?]. I clean up a bit, I go to work.
Usually, when I’m up, EVERYONE is gone and I usually walk in my underwear because I know everyone is gone. Hee hee. Every now and then, I do, in fact walk naked [sometimes i forget my towel!]
I was caught ONCE. I woke up, went to take a shower, went into my room to lotion and whatever. Then I walked into the bathroom [i usually leave the light on and my straightener on] not thinking anything and I saw Philip through the door crack [the door was partially open] I screamed because i was in my underwear and he screamed like a woman! That was great.
I ran into my room and Philip said “Oh my god, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
Even though he did NOT get a heart attack, I’m glad I got him to scream because I believe it will be the first and last I get to hear Philip scream.
So much for walking around in my underwear.
I called in sick to work yesterday and it felt good. I just slept all day and had some lunch with John and took care of some shit that I got myself deep into.
A deep ol’ shithole.
Something smells funny in my cube. Is it my feet?
Well, so I came back to work today and everyone was so happy to see me! Wow. I feel special and yet, am happy that I missed work. I’m much more calmer and things are much more clear methinks.
I’m going out drinking on saturday and hopefully friday.
I’m excited. My friend Mike and his girl Meg are moving not too far [like 2 blocks away from me] so more people to hang out with!
I need to calm some shit down in my life.
This entry is all over the place, I know. So is my head. So is my heart.
What heart? Yeah, I didn’t know I had one either.
Okay. A much more concise and structured entry to follow.
my roommates are driving me crazy.
apparently someone stole their water guns and i was accused.
i did not appreciate being accused as
a)i don’t care about their stupid guns
b)i’m thinking about moving out ANYWAY
c)i don’t have any patience to be associating with the roommates as of late ANYWAY.
needless to say, to be accused while i’m on a difficult call about audio underruns and SCSI drives…and while my office friends are going insane…and worrying about my weigh in at weight watchers…and having my job review…
the accusation about the water guns topped my cake off. and i said “THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD IT!!!!”
one of the problems here is that my patience is really wearing thin, so give false accusations just made me simulateneously implode and explode.
in other imploding and exploding news, i totally lost my shit at work yesterday. long story short a woman accused me of being incompetent and said “can you transfer me to someone who actually knows how to edit/the product?” and I sweetly said, “one moment please” and I threw my headset on the ground and screamed. Then I walked around the office in a fury.
I WAS SO ANGRY.
Turns out, i broke my headset because of my little temper tantrum. The caller was like “HELLO?! HELLO?!??!” [I put her on hold for 10 minutes because she pissed me off] and then i came on and said “A more COMPETENT REP will call you back in a minute” and she promptly hung up.
Yeah, we all hate technical support but to accuse your local tech support rep of stupid shit—especially if you have NO IDEA what you are doing–is ridiculous. It’s one thing to call in and say “Yeah, i’m don’t know much about computers” –we’re pretty nice about it..that’s why we get paid. but to call in and say “Yeah, the thing you made me do? I lost all my media” YEAH RIGHT BITCH. Do you even know where your fucking media IS?! Didn’t think so. You would’t lose your shit unless i say a) press the delete button or b) throw your hard drive out the window.
sorry, the whole job/roommate/watching my weight just totally tipped me off and now i’m just annoyed with everyone.
afterwards, after i broke my headset, i went into my coworker’s steve’s cubicle and burst into tears. he, of course, hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder which was awesome of him. called the bitch back for me and gave her a little lesson in etiquette. i have to admit it to steve, he really has my back. we then went out for beers afer work because i felt so shitty.
i have to say, i have really made some loyal friends in MA…already! i have always been afraid that in my bad days, there would nobody to be there
and there always has.
thanks MA!
love,
sharon ‘everything is annoying the shit out of me right now’
so here’s the deal.
have you ever felt unappreciated? have you ever felt that what you do or say has no significance?
sometimes i feel i am ignored and/or people don’t want to hear what i have to say. when i try to talk, i just kind of get looked over.
and people wonder why i’m loud–because i have to stand out to get any attention around here.
and today, i just got tired of people not listening to me and against my gregarious nature, i just had nothing to say.
‘oh, what’s wrong?’ –what, NOW you want to listen? when i don’t say anything?
‘oh, are you okay?’ –what, NOW you care?
it’s weird. when you scream, people tune you out, when you say nothing, people pay attention and at this point, i don’t want them to pay attention. i want to hide in the wall and disappear.
sometimes, just sometimes, i don’t feel appreciated at where i live. i don’t want to go into it now, but, who fucking cares if i live here or not? who cares what i get peeved about? who cares what happens to me when i’m not home? WHO FUCKING CARES?!
i’ve been thinking about moving out for awhile now….not that i’ve been accepting any offers or put any down payments or anything like that [i would give fair warning of course] but, i feel, sometimes, it really doesn’t matter anyway…right?
and i’m just using this as a place to vent, not to fix problems nor a place to call attention to ‘look at poor me. poor unappreciated me’
FUCK THAT SHIT. FUCK IT TO THE EAR.
okay, i’m done now.
i did have a good talk with kevin and he made me feel important.
doesn’t mean it’s true though.
So I’m on a diet.
End of entry.
okay, i lie. as in, that was not the end of my entry.
I got the Futurama Season 3 on disk last night for my birthday and YES! FINALLY, the option to “Play All” is finally available. it’s little things like this that make me happy.
I gave kerbang his gift, which was a shabbily edited rendition of his so-called current life on his characteristics. I think he liked it OR thought “oh god, i went to film school with this person? What is this shabbily edited rendition of my life? it’s awful.” and he felt editing pity for me.
However, i had a fun time compiling things and being sneaky.
Benefits from this video:
I got to spend loads of time with tech boy as he a) provided my equipment and b) provided his apartment and editing machine for my usage.
got to get to know the black belts and are now on a social level with them…all because i left my camera with them and they apparently, like being videotaped
got better at my job as it is my job to refresh my memory time to time with our products
got to smoke a bunch of pot. Yay!
got to use a camera and watch john’s friends make little skits about John [that was FUNNY]
now i have to “pay back” tech boy. I think i’m going to take him out to blue man group
*now john has a memory of his roommates when we decide to go our separate ways.
Sometimes I wonder, when we all go our separate ways, will we still keep in touch? Granted, our lease is up in May, but the closest people that I correspond with seem to change from year to year and sometimes, from month to month.
I’m a friend whore sometimes.
Minimal Effort 