Minimal Effort

Wow, i poured my heart out in my last entry…and it did not evaporate, instead it evoked a response from my friends that i didn’t expect…and i thank you so much for making me feel better.

I read in my sister’s best friend’s diary today that “People will be who they are, but Friends are willing to admit your own faults to you and not only recognize that you’re drowning, but actually do something to save you.” Even though i wasn’t actually drowning…more like treading water that I was swallowing ever now and then, it was great to know that i not only have lifeguards, but some buoys and a boat on standby and some swimmers nearby.

sandy told me that ‘you know, we all get crazy and it’s okay.’–that made me feel better that it’s okay to be crazy. samantha told me how important i was. gumphood told me i was never satisfied because i always something more [which, in turn, is a double edged sword]…but john, john made me feel like a million bucks. no wonder he’s a writer.

he said “I don’t care how crazy you are or get, i will never abandon you.” just the promise that one person will not abandon me just made me feel uber lucky that i have friends like these.

thank you.

in other news, my back…well actually my shoulder, is killing me. it’s a lot better thanks to ready’s massage therapy but it still hurts a bit. he had his friend michelle, massage therapist extraordinaire come over and do some deep tissue massage on my shoulder and she was like “this is really deep. it’s so deep that it must be due to stress and not sleeping on it wrong.” dammit. and now i’m addicted to massage therapy. i want someone to get into me mad deep and massage the shit out of my shoulder until its gone. but that will be expensive.

i’m in the middle of 3 books right now, that i keep swapping…scar tissue by anthony kiedis and ghostwriter….dude, that kid did a LOT of drugs…talk about inspiring [now that he’s sober]…America by Jon Stewart [already a classic] and Faithful about the Red sox season.

Furthermore, i think my friends recognize that my insanity and depression is due to the weather. i wake up, there’s no sun. i go to bed, there’s no sun. John says “you need to appreciate and love the snow–let’s go sledding”…which now i have to do. ok.

i wish i had money to buy cute clothes…but i admit, i love christmas shopping.

okay, i’m all over the place. i’m wonder if i’m manic-depressive? excuse me, the proper term is “bipolar”. yikes.

please don’t abandon me friends. i’m not insane all the time.

thanks again.

love,

the insane california chick.

wow, my stomach is killing me. so is green bay. DAMN YOU GREEN BAY. SCORE SOMETHING FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

okay, enough of that. You know what is a bad combination? a book that indicates that “he is not that into you” and alcohol. bad bad combination because then you flip out on people.

case in point: got drunk with the roommates last night and had a discussion [read: argument] with all the boys in the room. i live with 2 girls and 6 guys…4 of them were reading the book i just finished last night.

on and on they said how that book is flawed and gave countless examples how a guy COULD be into you but is just scared. this entailed more drinking and in the end, some wrestling of some sort [i was not a part of this wrestling snafu]. however, i think whilst this discussion, i text messaged a good number of people that i don’t recall text messaging and got a bunch later around midnight when trying to go to bed.

bad combination number 2: alcohol, plus book about understanding boys plus cell phone.

how many times have you been drunk dialed? I have been drunk dialed a ton of times–mostly by girls who are in the midst of a relationship crisis, girls who just had the best sex ever [yeah, it’s weird, huh?] or ex-boyfriends who tell me they want me RIGHT now. yikes. drunk dialing…usually is cause of regrettable mistakes and shameful morning voice mails.

now i have gas. and i’m going to watch a movie. and never again, will i mix a book on understanding guys with any sort of chemical or liquid influence.

oh yeah…and acqui di gio, nautica or that tommy shit? that is what we women call LIQUID PANTY REMOVER. Use it and why the fuck not, abuse it.

that’s all.

p.s. i am almost done converting all my entries to livejournal. went from having 321 entries here to 150 + entries. this is a long and tedious progress.

FOR FUCK’S SAKE GREEN BAY. FOR FUCK’S SAKE. okay.

i’m done.

I’m reading this really cool book called “he’s just not that into you” and essentially, it is pretty much every experience I have had with every guy I have ever had…PERIOD. It was written by a consultant and editor of that badass sitcom—Sex and the City. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show because the flaws those women have, albeit painful to watch, are true to life. God, I love that show.

Anyway, I wonder, if you were in a relationship and you were reading that book…how would the guy in this relationship react to you reading that book? Does that freak him out? Hmmm. Interesting.

Well, I’m going to be primarily going to be in this diary from now on. If you already didn’t know, I have two diaries, one here and the other on diaryland. I’m in the process of consolidating both because somebody who I didn’t want to read the other diary googled the SHIT out of it and I don’t like not having the privacy controls that is so user friendly on this blog format.

Of course, this will not interrupt our regularly scheduled program, I will just have a lot more past entries now. WHEEEEEEE…

Christmas is coming. Hells yeah bitches.

THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR:

*my eyesight to watch my dawn of the dead dvd.
*my brother to remind of what it’s like to be young and unsure
*my sister to remind me that i am not the same person in the loony bin
*my friend steve who cares what i do
*my friend samantha who invited me for thanksgiving so i would not be alone
*my hearing so i could listen to my itunes collection
*my friend keith who will invite me over when i have nothing to do
*my roommate john who always gives me a shoulder to cry on when i’m down, an arm when i need to be picked up and a hug when something great happens
*all of my roommates for not giving me shit that i eat a lot of chicken and that i have a warm and friendly place to live..oh and because of the huge number, keeping my rent low
*my car where my heart and sould lives in
*my job to pay for my bills and my vices
*my mom and dad for helping me pay for stuff and flying my sister out to MA. {YAY!!!}
*my friends in california to remind me where i came from
*my friends in new york who remind me where i want to go
*my friends in massachusetts who accepted me wholeheartedly as this bicoastal mutt
*the red sox for making baseball exciting again
*my dvd player for my excessive use of it
*my health insurance which will make sure i die on a mattress
*america for giving my family a chance to not live in a third world country and live a comfortablelife
*college for molding me into a person who will not be stepped on as often and to fight for my dreams
*instant messenger to pass the time away and allow me to play games and talk to people all over the place so i don’t have to hold my cell phone to my ear
*my dog sally for wishing i had her energy to do shit
*my asshole for cleansing my system everyday
*my glasses for helping me see but not making me look TOO nerdy

and….

my panda for loving me the way i am.

i will do this [given to me by my sister]:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Sharon
2. Sharona
3. Share

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. elerigby18
2. befuddledfilm
3. iamtiredyo

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. i follow my heart–and pursue it regardless of consequences for fear i will not live out my life.
2. i will do outrageous favors for friends.
3. i rarely judge people and if i do, i always give people a second chance.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. i’m fucking impatient
2. incompetent with keeping finances under control
3. when i feel i have been wronged, i will withdraw and become overly sensitive [whereas, if i’m feeling life is going well, i don’t mind people making fun of me] and will try to hide my feelings or how hurt i am by overcompensating with cheerfulness or being cold. [that was a long one]

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Filipino
2. American
3. a very small part Japanese/a quarter Spanish. hmm.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. overthinking situations and choosing the wrong decision.
2. somebody who truly cares for me and the implications it implies
3. the high expectations i have for myself will lead to failure and disappointment because my lack of control of the situation. actually, lack of control of my life PERIOD.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. car
2. music
3. diet coke

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. my glasses
2. my penguin pajamas
3. my duck underwear

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or singers) AT THE MOMENT:

1. Plain White T’s
2. Jimmy Eat World
3. Modest Mouse

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS AT THE MOMENT:

1. “Your House” Jimmy Eat World
2. “Fireworks” Plain White T’s
3. “Mad World” Gary Jules

THREE REASONS YOU’VE BROKEN UP WITH EXES:

1. lack of commitment
2. bad kisser [so i’m shallow. i love kissing…what do you want?]
3. insecure about me being more intelligent than him [for fuck’s sake]

THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: love is a given

1. chemistry
2. romance
3. friendship [this would entail trust]

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. i’m a sucker for musical talent. i can’t help it. [incidentally, i tend to look at the oppposite sexes hands for this one.]
2. someone who is hilarious but isn’t always putting on a show.
3. eyes.

THREE THINGS YOU CAN’T DO:

1. whistle
2. a pull-up [i think my family is lacking the genetic makeup to do a pull-up]
3. forget when you fucked me over

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. watching dvds with the commentary on
2. taking random road trips and trying to get lost and find my way back [happens a LOT in MA. not so much in new york or CA]
3. starting a book and not finishing it because a much more interesting book comes along.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:

1. share a bed with someone.
2. fly away from here.
3. have all my excess weight flushed out of my system in one painful yet successful excrement.

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:

1. film
2. professor [preferably sociology]
3. any career that would deal with international travel.

THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:

1. Australia
2. Europe [that’s a duh]
3. Tokoyo

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. fall in love for the first time.
2. go to a World Series game
3. have sex outdoors [yeah, yeah, i’m lame and boring.]

Must…watch…..Dawn of the Dead now….must….eat….brains…

I apologize for the previous entry being the most boring (and too damn long for that matter) on Earth. In a galaxy, far far away. In Hobbiton.

Anyway, I tried to rectify the situation by creating this excuse for a survey. It sucks. It really does.

I apologize to the diaryland public.

So get this:

I started watching baseball in 1998. My friend Rex was a diehard Padres fan and I started going to games.

We went to the World Series that year. Albeit, we lost to the Yankees. But it was the Padres first appearance in the WS and we were stoked.

That year, we also had the Superbowl (Green Bay against…some brown team..I’m a green bay fan) in San Diego.

First time in history the world series and the superbowl were in the same town.

I also got to witness our football team, the Chargers, go to their Superbowl for the first time ever. another history making mark.

I then moved to New York.

When I was in New York
a. the yankees went to the world series every year.
b. we had a “subway series” mets v. yankees.
c. the new york teams went to both the superbowl (the giants versus the ravens) and the world series (yankees versus diamondbacks)
d. since 2000, though, the yankees have never won a world series. I have always rooted for the other team.

I moved back to California last year. This time, I did not get to witness either the superbowl or the world series in my town.

However, I went to florida for the first time ever and stayed there for vacation.

who went to the world series? Florida Marlins and NYY.

Now I live in Boston.

I have witnessed this:
a. the red sox are going to the world series
b. the patriots won the superbowl

so again, for the third time, I have witnessed the superbowl and the world series happening for the town’s teams.

another fact to check out:

I went to new york for vacation during the first 3 games of the playoffs. each game, we lost. when i came back, we started winning again.

my friend mike pointed this out and said “that’s IT! you’re fucking lucky. i’m chaining you to fenway park or something.”

my friend greg: “you can never leave boston again..do you have any idea what you are witnessing? what kind of history you are going through?”

I sort of want to test out this theory and go to philly or something and see if means anything.

i think it’s a happy coincidence. i like to move. i like how people think i’m lucky.

but i also lived in new york when the sept 11 thing happened.

and that’s not lucky at all.

however, i am a little spoiled being able to witness these events.

but i do enjoy them.

GO RED SOX!!

THE RED SOX ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! Just when I thought i was put out of my misery…they come back. Talk about dropping everything for national pasttime.

I love it. But I also hate it. But i love it more.

Will Schilling break my heart? Hmmm. If you’ve seen this guy, he is PHENOMENAL in the post season. but he is injured….

C’mon Red Sox. Make a California girl cry for a sport.