Minimal Effort

Just a general update where I’ll be jumping around:.

Tomorrow is the Pats versus Colts game. Which I very much want to see…but i do not want to watch it by myself. However, since I do not belong to a boy’s club, I am not going to watch it [albeit, I watched it last year with my friend Jeff and HIS friends but he’s out of state right now]. So I broke down and called one of my girlfriends, samantha, and asked her to watch sex and the city with me tomorrow..

football versus sex and the city? OR
being alone and depressed about not having any guy friends to watch the game with versus watching a show that a girl will watch with me..

next year, i’m going to find a group of cool guys who’ll invite me to all their stupid football games thingers and then i can complain about not having girlfriends again or something..

sigh. i guess i’ll get text updates from somebody or something..

I went to a bar last night where with BWAM (boy who adores me) and some of his friends. Near the end of the night, one of them pulls me away and says “You know, boy is really into you…but i think he is too shy. you should make the first move.”

um…..right

In other lame news…It’s about time I’ve seen a good movie. I went into Boston tonight to watch “Sideways” [the new Alexander Payne movie…Alexander Payne is of “Election”, “About Schmidt” and “Citizen Ruth” fame] with my roommates over in Kendall Square and it was awesome.

I’m not sure if it was awesome because the past couple of movies I’ve seen have been crap [don’t see White Noise. sigh so disappointed], so this movie looks REALLY good in comparison or because i really liked the movie. The best way to describe it, is that it is like Swingers but when they are getting married. Something like that. It was a good depiction of guy best friends. GO see it! it’s awesome-o

In other non-extravagant news, I went to a Japanese Steak House last night! Not what I expected. The guy I was with was craving sushi like a mofo and so I expected a sushi type of buffet. Not so. Some chef dude cooks in front of you and serve your food to you and entertains you while you eat. Afterwards, we got TRASHED and went to some bars in lowell. I was so trashed, that whoever was talking to me [this guy Kevin, was fucking hilarious], I would forget what they were talking about. At one point, i had forgotten i was at a bar and this girl, Sarah, had said “Why aren’t you drinking?” [as in alcohol] and I said “I’m not thirsty” thinking that she was thinking why wasn’t i drinking ANYTHING [rather than alcohol].

wow, i wish that paragraph was funnier on paper than it is in my head.

after the bar, i found that my friend from work had called me to ask me why my car was still at work [me and the boy decided to take one car instead] and warned me that this other dude, this creepy dude, would be working the overnight shift and may try to accost me.

great.

i was fortunately [or unfortunately maybe?] not accosted and made it safely home.

one last thing…I LOVE that show 24.

more updates to follow i suppose. I figure I appease the public with SOMETHING but you are probably disappointed with me.

oh yes, one last thing. my sister and the boy i have been hanging out with have chatted online about me [WHAT?!] and she joked with him about her being his sister-in-law…which he relayed to me in the restaurant.

embarrassed much? she did it to test his nerves and he apparently thought it was funny.

right. i’m still embarrassed. thanks sister.

remember that saying, when you close a door, a window opens or some shit like that? yeah man, totally happened to me.

there’s this boy i met whose so awesome to me, i can barely believe it. and then it hits me…it’s good now, only to be soured later. i can’t truly enjoy anything because i’m always worried when it’s falling apart. “i can’t figure if i do it to myself or if life does it for me.” me and the boy hung out pretty much the majority of the weekend. it was crazy. he was giving all these hints and i’m like “yo, what’s the fucking deal? do you like me or what the fuck?” and he said “yes, something like that.” apparently he’s been crushing over me for several MONTHS. like, WOAH.

what makes me so special? why would you have a crush on me? that’s so bizarre. nevertheless, for months even.

we’ve just been hanging out and my roommates [who LOVE him] are like “have you kissed yet? have you done anything yet?” Nope. this is the SLOWEST i have ever gone with anyone because i have massive abandonment issues.

it won’t be too long till he is tired of me. i want to be happy but the past speaks for itself. boys get bored of me. i’m fascinating for like a month then i’ve magically transformed into boring and psycho.

in other news, i was totally irate with everyone and everything. my nose was killing me [i was having an allergy attack throughout the first 4 hours or work], i was on this call for 2 fucking hours and i was irate of the past events of the weekend [which did not include boy] where i am excluded because i possess the following:

a. an extra x chromosome
b. tits
c. lack of a penis

i suppose it’s an MA thing? I never had to go through this shit in NYC or California. These boys here exclude from watching sports events with them, poker nights with them, game playing with them.

back in california, we had a poker night every thursday. i’m not an expert, but it was HARDCORE. It was called boys night because it was primarily boys but i was always invited because a) i’m not a prissy girl. b)i’m fun and i can hold my own with the boys c) i’m not half bad at poker. regardless, i liked that they recognized that fact and the fact that d) not a lot of girls have the same interests that i have.

in new york, same deal. this was probably due to i was in a predominantly male field, but i was always invited to guys night because of the aforementioned and b) i really don’t have any girlfriends.

i don’t have many girlfriends here as well, so it’s difficult to find some girls to watch the chargers v. jets game [DAMN YOU CHARGERS FOR GIVINE ME HOPE!] or to find a girl to watch a movie with me that is NOT a romantic comedy. i really wish that i was more prissy and i cared about the pants sale over at american eagle outfitters, but the truth of the matter is, i don’t.

unfortunately, i mostly like what “guys” like to do. more unfortunately, unlike the cosmopolitan states of new york and california, girls like me are left out in the desert…not manly enough to be part of the boys club but not girly enough to have a clique of sex and the city girl club.

THIS PISSES ME OFF TO NO END.

i’m tired of being excluded. i want my old friends here.

I have this love-hate relationship thing with cosmo. i abhor it because of it’s shallowness but then…bedside astrologer calls to me and i love learning new sex tricks [even though they are recycled]. but i could care less about what season of makeup tone goes with my skin.

DAMN YOU COSMO!!

can you believe it? I have had an online journal since 2002. my first entry was made in April of 2002 when i first moved to california from new york.

in light of my laziness and another entry of reflection…let us go back and read what i wrote in my very first entry [enter wayne and garth’s “doodaloo,ddodaloo, doodaloo,adoiwekenrea,aaideidoao…]

[April 2, 2002…

So.. I just moved out here in California. I sort of have the love hate thing going on.

I absolutely love:
–the weather
–the beach
–driving on the freeway with music blasting
–the time
–working out (a la running around the Eastlake uh..Lake)
–everything is cheaper
–getting to see my bestest friends almost everyday
–no long distance phone bills

I absolutely abhor:
–the boredom
–the lack of activities
–some peoples’ mentality there is nothing outside of SD
–missing my friends on the East Coast
–Starbucks (I’m was okay with it in NYC because those peeps were like my second family)
–living at home

Of course the aforementioned could be easily rectified if I put my mind to it. So I’m trying my best to change stuff without being too negative blah blah blah.

Love life: nonexistent as of now. I think I have a love/hate relationshipo with having a relationship as well. As Chris Rock would say (please excuse my abundance of quotes in my journal entries) “relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain”. I think I would be really good at it. but that’s my opinion. I guess I won’t know just yet. But, as many of you know, I have made my top ten list for the ideal mate. (Any of you may fill the application if you think you are worthy…HA HA HA..heh…okay. As Jennifer Lopez says ENOUGH! That movie looks like a watered down SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY. Been there, done that. I guess this movie would be a more agressive version. But I digress)

Top Ten Qualities in an Ideal Mate. (in random order)

1. Must be ambitious
2. Must understand passion* and/or be passionate
3. Must be capable of understanding my insanity or at least give attempts to understand
4. Have a quench for knowledge and be able to talk on my level of intellegence (no matter how low or high it may be at the time) but know that having a great capacity of learning and gaining knowledge does not necessarily make you a wise man.
5. Must try to amend things within 24 hours, if a conflict arises
6. I want a minimum of 4 times a week. (Plenty of time!)
7. Likes to kiss me, but not a huge amount of PDA.
8. Must look good in a suit or a tuxedo
9. Must have the same bizarre sense of humor as I do. Must be okay with my random off the wall rants.
10. WANTS to love me unconditionally.

end entry].

ah, it was like yesterday. i read a few more and i can’t believe how much i’ve changed..from bitching to not having insurance and not having a car to bitching about snow. i still like to bitch.

and wouldn’t you know it? I found a guy who is interested in filling out the aforementioned position. however, he is still going under stringent investigation and rorsach tests. the eager applicant awaits until i give the offer letter. it’s quite flattering really. and it’s been a while since i’ve had someone so eager to please me.

oh, 2005, how you tease me.

now to read my worthless horoscope of career, love, and mon cherie, life.

have a great weekend everyone.

YEAAAH. I got the Monk, Season 1. I had to drive to the Marlboro Mall [some pond mall] and they had one copy left…just one.

dude, it was 60 bucks. so i paid 20, since my suncoast card paid for 40 of it. not bad. not bad at all.

i then got us a new television for the house and then got some mixers for the party i’m going tonight.

i need a new fucking phone. i was getting phone calls up the wazoo today and i had to fucking scream in it. unfortunately, my glasses are broken and must fix that first. must see before i can talk. unfortunately again, the optometrist office isn’t open until next year. sheesh. and i have toothache.

i am falling apart.

as per usual, my new year’s resolutions:

1. finish a script.
2. lose 50 pounds…i will gift myself something every 5 pounds i lose.
[i was told by my coworker that i would be anorexic if i lost 50 pounds but according to my california doctor, i should have no boobs and be mad tiny. sigh]
3. be bikini ready for vegas.
4. quit smoking.
5. go back into step aerobics…even if i have to do it at home goddamanit.

and now five new ones:

1. learn how to say “I said there are no egos here fucko!” in three different languages.
2. go to one sporting event..baseball, football, fucking hockey even.
3. try to eat a salad once a week. [yuck]
4. have one boy spend the night in my bed [has never ever ever EVER happened. i have weird issues about sharing my bed.]
5. spend a night in canada.
6. make my social calendar as it was in california.

ok. secretly i want to watch my Monk dvds tonight but the pressure to be social on new year’s eve is overwhelming. i am off to become drunk and obnoxious.

happy 2005 yo.

so i’m shoveling snow today. i was totally feening for cigarettes and saw my friend online. i say ‘friend, do you have cigarettes?’ friend says ‘yes, come on down!’…so i was down over there like crack-whore and a crack blow-job. i come back…and i can’t get my car up the driveway.

oh, for the love of fucking god.

so i shovel and shovel and shovel.

oh, and i shovel. all by my lonesome.

my glasses slip off my face and BREAK. i cannot see to save my life. i throw my shovel and swear out loud and go inside…and i fucking tape my glasses. this is so embarrassing. and i have to go to work this week, until my eye appointment with fucking TAPE ON MY FUCKING GLASSES.

i am so pissed right now.

then i get a toothache from some cold chocolate i ate. great. oh, and did i mention that my cd car adaptor doesn’t work? yeah, so i’m listening to 3 mixed tapes i made in the early y2k years. i have to listen to that shit over and over again until i get a new cd car adaptor. FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

in other news, i am dying to get the monk season 1 dvd. nobody got it for me, as i am told, it is a tough find. citgo did find it for me in the marlboro mall, so i’m off to the mall on wednesday most likely to pick it up with this gift card that my friend steve gave me for christmas.

please, week, please get better.

my head is going to explode. i’m not sure where is this coming from, i suspect from my lack of caffeine.

i wish i had nyquil…capital N, capital fucking Q…to go into a coma. but i spent my last five bucks [actually my roommate’s five bucks] on gas to get to and from work.

this is what i had today:

breakfast: nothing. i am broke

lunch: 3 hard boiled eggs that my coworkers took glee in teasing me. [everything is a production in hilarity with me. i’m glad to bring joy with my awkwardness to life]

dinner: 3 blueberry pancakes.

that’s right people. the only things i have left to eat are blueberry pancake mix, top ramen and eggs. that’s it.

man, this is going to be a story to tell in my 30s. unless, i’m still in the same shit in my 30s. however, in your 20s, you’re supposed to be poor.

sometimes, just sometimes, i wish someone would take care of me and buy me meat and diet coke. oh, and nyquil.

this headache isn’t doing any better staring at the tape in my glasses.

if someone has nyquil and a shotgun, please, look me up.

Merry Belated Christmas everyone, I hope you had some good holiday cheer.

I was, in a way, spoiled on Christmas. MA is interesting that way. They always want to make sure you’re okay which I think is odd—yet awesome. Such treatment did not exist in California and [sort of] in New York for that matter.

Two of my roommates have gotten me gifts. Risanator got me the wallet I’ve been drooling after and Phillip got me a hilarious dvd, called Revolution Cho. He said he watched the stand up and thought I would laugh my ass off. Yes, she has the ‘i am a daughter of immigrant’ jokes down pat…which I love and can relate to.

Christmas Eve, I was home alone to an empty house which was kind of odd and not too lonely after the first 11 hours–i watched a bunch of dvds, i did my laundry, did all the dishes, cleaned my room like a mofo. At the 12th hour, then I felt a little bit lonely and LO AND BEHOLD, like an abc family special, my friends mike and keith call me within a 10 minute span and want to know if i want to hang out! Wow, i really do have friends that care which is fucking AWESOME. [my roommates count as well, of course, but they are all with their respective families].

On actual Christmas day, I was invited to four dinners! like WOW! I went to the first dinner I was invited to and her family is hilarious. It reminds me of a sitcom sometimes and they spoiled me to death with a bunch of gifts. I got three wrapped gifts from them [i say wrapped because when i opened them, there were MORE presents!]. And can I say, best roast beef ever? Thank you Samantha, for your hospitality.

Afterwards, as per usual, I wanted to see a film on christmas…suffice it to say, this is my first christmas I did not go to the theaters on christmas. AAHHHHHH. Last Christmas, I spent with John’s family and we went to see Return of the King. This year, I want to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, but [although I really don’t have to, because he’ll probably see it without me] was waiting until John arrived from Ireland.

regardless, I had movie plans with my friend Keith and he and his roommate could not decide between Blade Trinity [I hadn’t seen the first two, so I said I didn’t really want to see that], or National Treasure [are you kidding me?]…however, beggars cannot be choosers and I said [since Keith was using his mom’s gift certificates] I would watch whatever. In the end, he just invited me over and I watched Minority Report with him and his roommates. Keith also spoiled me with three gifts [what’s up with the three gifts?] wherein he gave me America: The Book, a Scooby Stocking full on tiny treats [the snoopy deck of cards was my favorite] and a framed picture of something he took a picture of…a side rear view mirror, which I like the underlying meaning of [well, that’s how i interpreted it]. good times, good times.

Man, this is going to be a long weekend. I am mad broke but, I am all warm and fuzzy from these people spending time with me and actually…giving a crap about what i was doing! Thanks guys.

The only disappointing thing about this christmas is that one of my gifts didn’t come in on time and had to tell my friend WHAT it was rather than give it to him. I suck. DAMN YOU EXPEDITED SHIPPING!

Um. Other than that, everything was awesome. So I’m hoping new year’s eve will just as entertaining, if not more…

on a final note [and somewhat unrelated note], sometimes life is just not fair…damn you life and your unfairness, give me a break sometime, will ya?

Okay, for all you last minute shoppers who love me, here’s what to get me, in SPECIFIC ORDER:

1. Monk, Season 1. I love that shit.
2. Monk, Season 2. I love that shit.
3. a snoopy wallet. I love that shit. [i was going to buy one for myself, but Risa refused for me to get it. DOH!]
4. Waterproof pants for snowboarding.
5. A boyfriend who likes to have a lot of sex. and buy me gifts. like, Monk, Season 1. bwahahahahaha. [only physical stipulation, he has to be taller than me]
6. Any cool sweater from Urban Outfitters.
7. Any cool pair of jeans from Old Navy or the Gap.
8. an Ipod.
9. a movie ticket [yes, i am a movie WHORE]
10. two movie tickets.
11. a mixed cd. i love that shit.

So there are some ideas which indicates your beloved shrine to your beloved sharon.

oh, and it takes me 12 hours to digest food. I did a test. I was told crapping two times a day is bad. Is it really that bad?

still in the process of consolidating my diaries…but i will give a mini-update.
my sister is coming into town next week! i’m totally excited. we’re probably going to new york and on saturday, my friend keith wanted to take us out on ‘a night on the town’. that will be great. i wish she could stay longer.
i was using the bathroom at work and i looked down on the floor, and there were NAIL CLIPPINGS. what were they doing there? who was clipping their nail while in the bathroom at work for god sakes.
christmas is driving me crazy. i’m just closing my eyes to it and hope it will pass me by quickly and painlessly. my bank account will, however, is going to need a frontal lobotomy.
i’m going to start fresh next year. everyone says that but i’m going to cut a lot of vices. no more consolation prizes, no more excuses..just hard work.
i have my eye on a prize. i want to work for an editing console in either austrailia or london. i’m building my credentials. unless i get offered a position that makes me do mad traveling at my current job, i’m looking to go up and out and much more travelling. i can’t stand being cooped up here for very long.
i am going to be celebrating my one year anniversary of no making out and three years of no sex..i mean, chastity with another human being. it’s been so long though, i think i could possibly live without it. i don’t remember what it’s like to be intimate with another human being…is it really all that? heh heh heh. however, i am optimistic that some guy will sweep me off my feet and change my mind. doubt it will be in massachusetts…but who knows? maybe the snow will change my mind.
i googled myself online. i’m an anchorwoman in ohio or something. that’s exciting. google is dangerous and great and awful all at the same time.
i’m babbling of course, but that is because i’m watching letha weapon 2 and a friend of mine yelled at me on the phone just now. but that’s fine. just showed me more of what a kind of person this person is.
okay, i’m off to play halo 2 with some friends down the street. more on nail clippings and work bathrooms in the near future dear readers.