Category: Nonsensical

Posted in Movies, Nonsensical, Pop Culture

complexity a la Amelie

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I like listening to French movies right before I go to sleep.

I dislike when the driver in a movie is not looking at the road.

I like getting my hair shampooed by another person

I dislike getting my hair blown dried by another person

I like the taste of water after taking a hip hop class

I dislike when a person blocks you when you are trying to follow the hip hop instructor but you cannot move to a different spot because you are surrounded by people hence, you have to copy a person in front of you who doesn’t do the routine as well but you need to know enough to get by in the routine.

I like parking far away in a parking lot so I have to walk a bit to the store.

I dislike having to carry groceries to my far parked car because I forgot I would be carrying something back to my car.

I like when Nyquil hits you and can barely keep your eyes open

I dislike only being able to breathe through one nostril and the nostril you cannot breathe out of, is running.

I like the smell of a girl’s hair after she gets out of a shower

I dislike the smell hot garbage.

I like to think (a la Amelie) how many people are having sex at this very moment

I dislike thinking how many are having sex because they are cheating on a significant other

I like the way I smile in pictures

I dislike how I cannot NOT smile in pictures without looking like a retard.

I like the look of fear on Mulder’s face

I dislike that the show the X-files storyline dissipated when Mulder left.

I like having a boy’s leg around me when in bed.

I dislike having a boy’s arm around me in bed because I can’t move (although the thought is extremely nice)

I dislike people who ask if “i’m sure.” more than once (i.e. are you sure? are you sure? YES I’M SURE!)

I like receiving a wedding invitation from a childhood friend

I like to suck and chew on ice

I dislike feeling a chip on a tooth on my right

I like eating chicken nuggets with the skin around it first, then taking off the top and then the bottom and saving the leftover meat for last.

I dislike the calorie contents in nuggets

I like cold soggy fries

I dislike when you leave fries at home and everyone eats it and what you have left are the leftover two or three fries at the bottom of the bag.

I like to do around the world on the step when I am doing step aerobics

I dislike that when you are too tired on the step, you tend to go the wrong way

I like watching the people in the front of the hip hop class give it their all with the new hip hop routine

I dislike looking at myself in the mirror while doing a routine

I like to beat out drum beats along the sides of a treadmill

I dislike when the treadmill needs your heart rate in order for you to do the fat burner program

I like to laugh so hard that I cannot tell a story that I think is funny

I dislike when people think my laugh is too loud

I like the sudden death overtime in hockey

I dislike it when a hat is worn backwards

I like getting those sleep marks on your face

I dislike waking up in the morning and my nose is itchy

I like being so engrossed in a book that you find you spent the last 4 hours reading

I dislike being interrupted by a phone call when reading an engrossing book where in another instance, you would have welcomed the call

I like making my lists of likes

I dislike that I know I have better ones and it will have to wait for next time. (the nyquil is taking effect)

Watch Amelie for better idiosyncracies.

Posted in Creative Effort, Nonsensical, Pop Culture

a poem written for me

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

Into the woods

She frolics along,

No care in the world

Singing her song.

Sharon is her first name,

And Mayo is her last.

Her pace suddenly quickens,

From frolic to fast.

What is the reason

For the sudden change in speeds?

Something is lurking

In the dark, distant weeds.

It hides in the dark,

Behind tree trunks and logs.

It searches for things to eat,

Sometimes human, sometimes frogs.

What creature exists,

In the woods at night?

Slithering and sliding,

To avoid the sunlight.

He has big eyes,

And a single strand of hair.

Only skin and bone,

For his body is bare.

What name does one give

To a creature so foul?

He will tear off your limbs

And rip out your bowel.

He sees Sharon running,

As he sits there looking solemn

The name he hath been given

Is the one they call Gholum.

He calls for his Precious,

As Sharon continues to run

But Gholum stays put

Sharon is running in the sun.

Gholum screams for his Precious

“Where is my damn ring?!”

No one to answer him

Sharon dares not to sing.

Out of the forest

Comes a long a Dark Rider

Sharon stops in her tracks

“Where is my Stryder?”

All of a sudden birds appear

From the trees come sparrows,

A man steps out of the woods

With a bow and some arrows.

The man is an Elf

Legolas is his name,

Killing the Dark Riders

Is the name of his game.

Legolas sees Sharon running through the woods

He saves her with his usual flair

Because he knows is he does she’ll give him the goods

When he gives her his wanting stare

They leave the forest hand in hand

With his bows and arrows in tow

Legolas lifts Sharon off from the land

And they leave towards the horizon before the sun gets too low

hee hee hee. Okay, Mr. Hendrickson wrote the bulk of this poem but I wrote the end (obviously)

I’m hungry. Stupide diet. Oh, and hip hop class ROCKS! I think I worked out my abs laughing to myself. (man, those girls in the front MEAN BUSINESS!)

Posted in Nonsensical, Topical

chess blows!!!

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

So it’s 11:45 p.m. and a friend and I were supposed to play a game of chess via internet. Well, apparently he did some illegal operation (oooh…) and had to close his windows and now, I’m just sitting here, staring at this screen, waiting for him to sign back on. I didn’t know playing chess would be such a mission. He better get back here before midnight or I’m going to kick his ass (or in his words: arse)

Speaking of which, he lost a bet!! Whoo-hoo! Thank you Raiders, thank you for sucking ass. 🙂 Of course, I’m a chargers fan, so I have to hate the Raiders but look at the goodies I get:

  1. Dinner at a steak place
  2. a bouquet of flowers (I specified DAISIES or TULIPS…but I hope it’s a mixture of both. Hmm… I wonder how that would look like?)
  3. a dvd. I’m hoping for X-files: fight the future, but I’m also half contemplating getting Any Given Sunday in honor of the football game.

I also won 20 bucks but that was because my friend Jirrah bet me on the second quarter (she should’ve known by then…it WAS 33 to 3)

Oh, he’s back online. Get back to you guys later. Gotta go kick his butt in chess 🙂 He’s a competitive one (or so he says..yeah RIGHT!)

Posted in Nonsensical, Topical

those guys on the corners

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I was driving by Mission Valley and have you seen those people who are holding big arrows pointing to places to rent out? And they spin those arrows around and around? What a LAME job! I felt really sorry for them and wonder how they don’t get bored. I wonder how much they get paid. It certainly must not be enough. They also had so many of them (like 4 of them, one on each street corner) …so this made me wonder… does this type of publicity actually work? I mean, they’re everywhere! I don’t think they would use such methods unless it worked. That’s just sad I think.

Also, have you seen the trailer for Darkness Falls. Okay…ENOUGH of the spooky psychic children. It’s been done. That’s what I hate about hollywood, they’ll beat a dead horse to the ground. Is that the right metaphor? Anyway, we saw THE RING and we saw THE SIXTH SENSE..we got the point…move on. I’ll even say this, I would rather watch Final Destination 2 (even though I haven’t seen the first one) because it seems a lot scarier that the aforementioned piece of crap. Sorry people, I’ve just seen that commercial WAY too many times. I don’t even remember ever seeing it at the theater…ah, whatever.

I’m half distracted because Jean Luc Picard is telling the story of Gilgamesh and Akidu at Uruk. Hmmm… I should’ve paid attention in English class then I would know what he was talking about. Oh well. I guess I’ll have to read it on my own.

I hate the Raiders. I hope they cry at the Superbowl. I hope they cry to their mommies.

I have to say, I’ve been in the best mood than I have been in a long time. It has to do with several factors which I won’t get into right now but I’m sure the future will reveal itself (ooh, cryptic).

Hmm…what else? I practically killed myself yesterday. My poor legs. I was trying to complete Lake Miramar yesterday and oops, I forgot the dam was closed, so I had walked 4.5 miles and had to turn around and walk 4.5 more. I guess it would been okay if it was a leisurely stroll but I was in a hurry to get something to eat (hmmm..lasagna) and I was afraid to get the good ol’ farmer’s tan.

Oh, and one more thing, I bought the box set of 24. That crap is CRAZY. Sometimes I can’t stop watching the show at the end because of those darn cliffhangers. So, I will stop it and then play it (because I have to know what’s going on!) and then jump up and down and scream (but not REALLY scream) and wait through the dramatic stress of Jack Bauer.

Oooh! guess what people! I’m going to see the Kurosawa film festival next month…and YOU’RE NOT! It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry, I’ll tell you the excitment that is Kurowsawa (I don’t know what the excitement is yet. I don’t think, oops, I’ve seen a Kurosawa film. I think I should do my research. I guess Seven Samarai weekend) but, he was a great name in film school and I hold my head down in shame that I do not know any of his works…and yet I know Spielberg’s….where did I go wrong???

Oh, I talked to my friend Lauren the other day and I said I was hella broke and she said “You’re saying hella now? WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?!” Damn you california vernacular!!

btw, I heard the sweetest thing last night. “Good night my sharona” Aww…that is just too much 🙂

okay, I’m going to listen to “Your Body is A Wonderland” I’m sorry people, that is like such a romantic song. Well, I THINK so. I’m trying to convince my sister to learn it on guitar so she can sing it to me (hee hee hee) but she refuses. Man, what… how can you not like the lyric “I won’t let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it”…HELLO! He’s all about using his hands (damn that John Mayer) Okay, I’m all wound up, it must be watching those 24 episodes. I’m going to do yoga (okay, I don’t know how to do yoga but who cares. I can fake it)

Posted in Nonsensical

two thousand and…three?

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I have to agree with my friend John, this is an underwhelming year. Or better yet, in his words:

(i must say i am underwhelmed with the number 2003. i
mean the last three years were 2000, 2001 and 2002, which is a
palindrome, and thus interesting. 2003 has nothing!)

i haven’t gotten the package you sent yet, but i will let you know as
soon as it arrives.

dude! i got those stain resistant pants for christmas, they totally
rule. i dumped a glass of champagne on myself yesterday on purpose.
fantastic!

..I added his comment on stain resistant pants because I thought it was funny. MAN! I want stain resistant pants! I could spill things on them all day.

I remember when I was in college (I can’t believe I can actually say that phrase.. Remember when I was in college??) and I kept spilling things on my shirts. And I said “God damnit, I’m just going to come out with a line of shirts with spills on ’em!” Y’know, so it would be cool/kosher to have shirts with spills on them. I think they would be HUGE! Why hasn’t anyone come up with this great idea? You would have ketchup stain, mayonnaise stain, ..etc..etc. And then I would have special edition shirts, like, alien brain splatter, “sexual” splatter (I would have to sneakily sell that undercover of course), and Almond Roca chocolate stains (because it’s hard to stain with those things).

Speaking of which, when I was in San Francisco, I was putting on a tanktop, and I swear to god, there was a big ass hole. Now, it wasn’t a hole you could see through my stomach or anything (it was in the stomach region) but something had “burned” through the fibers where, if you put my shirt through the light, there was a hole. And I was like “oh my god”…and Cooper came and looked at it and said “uh-oh…did you have this shirt on whilst doing some sort of sexual activity?” (I”m editing this as best as I could. YOu don’t REALLY want to hear what he said) and I said “Yeah” and he said “Did you NOT take off the shirt for some reason?” and I said “Well, I wasn’t responsible for that department. The guy was trying to take it off..but it just didn’t take. and there was so much going on and I got confused..then…” Cooper smiled and said “RIIIIGHT” So now I can’t wear that black tanktop again I think. Goddamnit. It was my favorite tanktop. I got it at Victoria’s Secret too! (When I had my Victoria’s Secret credit card. Those things are evil especially around the semi-annual sale time…which to me, seems that they have ALL THE TIME?! I’m always getting panties 5 for 25…not that I’m complaining)

I think another comparison of east coast boys versus west coast boys (of course, mind you, there are exceptions). Once a boy has a girlfriend, you never see them again over here. (No, I’m not talking about Tyler for people who think I’m insinuating him, I see him, not as much, but he always makes an effort! Yay Tyler!)

But anyway, once a boy has a girlfriend or whatever (or someone in a similar vein), making any effort to see you or hang with you is gone. Whereas, in New York, they can have girlfriends, but they still want to hang out with you. Or even better, they bring their girlfriends out when hanging with the boys. I think because in New York, I was considered ‘one of the boys’ which I quite enjoyed because I’d hate to think people would exclude me because I am a girl.

Not the case here, since I am neither somebody’s girlfriend (thus eliminating me from the “couple” activities) nor a boy (thus eliminating me from hanging out status), I am just another girl for the next person to fuck. That’s always fun. (this is sarcasm)

But I’m not bitter or anything. Because there will be a day where I will be playing with the big boys in film, and all the other people who once denied me because I was ‘just a girl’ (No Doubt reference) to make a man look good or not ‘one of the boys’ will want to hang out with me later..when I’m rolling in my labours of hard work.

In other news, I’m going to a bizarre party tonight. It’s a “mystery dinner party” and we’re all supposed to be all dressed up/dolled up and someone is going to die. I’m not sure how this is going to work but I’m going to be damned if I’M THE ONLY ONE DRESSED UP! (Now there’s pressure for you) But I think I’ll have a stash of regular clothes in the car just in case.

Hmm..what else? Moving back at home. Eh. Free food. It’s okay. Ironically, I get more phone calls here than I did at my old apartment (that IS ironic) also, I’m more prone to hang out at home because everything is so far from me now, and I have my bro and my dog to hang out with.

Speaking of which, I have named my dog “sally”. It was taking the longest time to name our dog. I wanted Phoebe, my brother wanted Sparky, and my mother wanted either Brownie or Jackie. Finally, I said “It’s Sally” and when I explained from the character in When Harry Met Sally (which my whole family likes that movie) they all agreed it was cool for the dog.

Okay, Sally, get ready for a bizarre ride. My family is weird.

Posted in Nonsensical, NYU

dvd wish list

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

oh yeah. My dad bought me 3 new dvds: Office Space, The Mummy (yes, I should really hate this movie but it has great Indiana Jones nostalgia and I love Indiana Jones) and Sneakers.

Yes, (as my friend Tyler pointed out) I should have had these dvds already but all my friends have ’em, so when I feel the urge, I just steal theirs. Except sneakers. I have that on tape. But now I have the widescreen version. AWWW SHIT.

Anyways, remember when I said I was addicted to LOTR (btw, I’ve seen the Two Towers 3 times already. I think I’m probably going to watch it 2 more times. One time with my brother and one more time when they show the trailer for RETURN OF THE KING. I’m in love with Office Space. Since I have the dvd, I can’t stop watching it. It’s absolutely brilliant. That, and whenever I watch the main guy pick up Jennifer Aniston, that is what you call absolutely fucking great. I wished guys did that more often. It’s so fucking sexy. Whew!

Anyway, next on the list (of sharon’s dvd wish list):

A Clockwork Orange
Shawshank Redemption (I have the vhs tape)
Panic Room
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
The Indiana Jones Box Set
The X-files…all the seasons (That’s going to be a tough one)
Amelie
All About My Mother
X-Files: Fight the Future
12 monkeys. (I had 12 monkeys but my friend Randy stole it and took with him to Japan. That bastard)

Posted in Lists, Music, Nonsensical, Pop Culture

goodbye yellow brick road

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I love that elton john song

I just had thought. I suppose I’ve grown up a little bit. I was thinking about the past today and how the last guy I “was with” taught me about another fact of life you always hear about but never really learn till it actually happens.
Also, the irony of it all is that, when we first “got together” (whatever that means) he told me one of the essential things in life is to have your heart broken and I was like “damn, that sucks”..who would’ve thought that task would be appointed to him (he is a ring bearer. Okay, I am terrible. I love that movie!!) but the person to tell me about it would be the person to teach me about it.

So what does it mean?

As far as I know, it just made me go through the process of learning to be by myself again and how it feels so good to be alone. I remember who I used to be, I didn’t have to answer to anyone, I could do as I like, and I could spend all my money on myself (not really though) but on the flip side, it is cool to have somebody who will be there for you, who will support you, to be that emotional support system and I suppose (even though it is obvious) being too much one side of the spectrum is not healthy and the best way is to have a happy medium. Not like SUPER independent that I’m like “Fuck, I need NOONE!” and super clingy where “I am not anyone without that person.” I’m sure this is an obvious lesson but I think you have to live it for it to really absorb in your system and to believe it.

So I suppose I’m at that point where I’ve accepted that he does not need me in his life anymore but just to be a part of it was pretty cool. and if I never talk to him again, I least I’ve had the experience to know that I have the capacity to care that deeply for someone and I am not an empty person.

BUT it doesn’t mean that if he were to have a girlfriend tomorrow, I’d be WHOO-HOO! I’d be like, damn. but as of now, thinking of the times I had with him doesn’t hurt and that is a good place to be at.

Anyway, I found out from our aforementioned telephone conversation that “oops” he reads this online journal. That is sharon’s profound life thought for the week.

In other news

I am still, for the record, in love with Lord of the Rings and after watching those documentaries, MY GOD, I would go out with those hobbits. THEY ARE SEXY!!! Orlando Bloom (aka legolas) is hella sexy with the wig. As my friend alfred would say, “I guess you have a wig fetish” only with that guy for some bizarre reason.

btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED!! He is now the big 24

Anyway, I’ve been on the computer way too long. my eyes are about to explode. that is what happens when you conversate with people on a saturday night (especially on the west coast and they have insomnia) hee hee hee.

Christopher Cross kicks major ass (yeah, he did that song about the moon and new york city)

p.p.p.s I ABSOLUTELY LOVE christmas songs. Unfortunately, I absolutely love the city in this season and I’m stuck in california with 70 degree weather, where there are no seasons. I want to see orange, red, and yellow trees. I GUESS these palm trees will have to do. and sniff, no snow.

but I guess I’ll get presents this year yo. (I haven’t gotten presents because I’ve spent it alone..sigh)

Top Five Christmas Songs

  • Silver Bells
  • My Favorite Things (Ok, this is TECHNICALLY not a christmas song but it’s prevalence during the season counts as on in my book)
  • Anything in the Nutcracker Suite
  • Little Drummer Boy (Especially the Jars of Clay version)
  • Sleigh Ride (giddy up, giddy up, giddy up let’s go…let’s play in the snow.) that’s a catchy ass song.

I just get so jolly around this time (other than the non-boyfriend status but then again, I’ve never had one around this time, so it’s doesn’t matter too much, actually)

More jolly banter on my next entry.

Posted in Nonsensical

stay away from cheese tonight

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

that’s what my horoscope said yo. Anyway, I’m like having gas problems. I think it was the ham and turkey sandwich. I actually ate food prepared by the gas god himself. He will go unnamed here but we all know who the god of gas is….

Anyway, I’m going to new york in a week. I’m so excited and scared at the same time. My godsister and I are going to be driving freaking 3000 miles to pick up the rest of my shite. oh yeeeaaah. I might visit my friend John in massachusetts as well which will be fun since he really wanted to see my nsync thingamajiggy

Damn, what is up wit the gas?

Okay. So a slew of events are coming up and here’s the big question, how will I afford it?

August:
-new york
-car bill
-rent
September:
-street scene
-Tyler’s birthday (uh-oh, IKEA?) (hee hee, I kid)
-las vegas

  • bills

DOH!

lyric(s) of the day:

“check it out bitch…
kiss on me baby,
lick on me baby,
but you can’t own me baby
cause I’m the shit
Now it seems that things are really getting better in my life
Well, if things are really getting better in my life
we’ll see you tonight…”
–NERD

Posted in insomniac, Nonsensical

I CAN’T SLEEP DAMNIT!!!

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

I woke up like 4 or 5 times last night. That is SO not a good one. I sort of miss having two jobs because I would be so dead tired I would fall asleep and never wake up. When I woke up, I would be refreshed but dreading to go to work again for another hella tiring day. It’s a catch 22 isn’t it? My friend George told me he had the same problem because he had two jobs for a couple of years and would just collapse and now that he can’t, he works out constantly. Actually after the lack of sleep he got ANOTHER JOB after he quit starbucks… just so he could sleep again.

It’s a possiblity that I’m tinkering with at the moment…

Anyway, other than that, I’m like…. sad I guess is sort of the proper word to say. It’s so cheesy why I am sad so I will not divulge but have you ever heard that Chicago song, um “Hard to Say I’m Sorry?” Like I always feel like I should do the first couple of lyrics and then I end up being the person at the end of the chorus. It’s sort of pathetic I think.

I’m going through courting withdrawal. I wish there was a guy out there who wouldn’t just date me but actually court the shit out of me. Okay, not the shit out of me, that’s sort of annoying (You know, someone who like evokes emotion from your every move) but someone who told me they thought of me every now and then. I’m tired of egos and defensive mechanisms. With great love and great achievement comes great risk… when will that day come????

I guess I’m just sexually frustrated and emotionally frustrated. I haven’t been hmmm…. for lack of a better term, unsatisfied. Your hands could only do so much till carpal tunnel begins to take effect (heh heh heh)

I miss Diet Coke

Posted in Nonsensical

geesh

Posted on by Minimal.Effort

one of the many lessons I’ve learned, young padiwan learner, is that when you cut something off that you used to get to have at anytime, you want it more.

You want it badly.

I have no discipline I suppose. But it’s usually the times when you say “I will no longer have no more Diet Coke” people all over the place are having diet Cokes, Diet Coke comes out with a special, buy one Diet Coke get one Diet Coke free, and you go to a party and all they have is Diet Coke.

So what do you do?

You drink that muthafreaking Diet Coke till the last drop is gone. And you get more and more and more because really, when is the next time you will get Diet Coke?

So then, will people think you will keep your word if you say “I no longer will have Diet Coke” and they see you greedily slurp that thing up? What happens when you fall off the wagon? What do you do? What do you say?

I guess, I’m back at square one.

Goddamn Diet Coke.