the one i’ve been talking about in my previous entries? Yeah, she’s going to be in the wedding in california that i’m going to.
FUCK.
I’ve only had one needy friend in my life, the one i’ve been referencing in the previous entries and when i moved out here, she said she had been thinking to moving to boston as well.
FUCK.
man, will you leave me alone?
the thing with her, we’ll call her, um, Bobohead. the thing with Bobohead, is that she’ll want to be your best friend and she’ll shower you with attention and say you’re her best friend and take you out and treat you well…..and you think, “wow, this is normal, this is nice.” and then BAM! she’ll fucking need you at all times and you barely have time to breathe.
have you had a friend call you 18 times a day? I have.
have you had a friend you talks about herself all the time and then when you say anything, she disregards its importance and/or ignores that you actually have a life outside of her.
There’s a joke between me and another friend who has felt this girl’s wrath. We call ourselves POWs and how we survived. oh, the joke. The joke is that she had fucked me up so badly that i had to move across to country in order to not feel the sting nor feel suffocated.
she also has this thing where she wants to be my best friend but she’s constantly competing me to one-up me…and she’s constantly trying to go after the guys I’m going after. I mean, who does that?! I got into NYU, she JUST got into USC. She was telling a friend of mine “Hey, Does sharon know I got into USC?” i.e. “Make sure Sharon knows I got into a school and now i’m better than her.” or whatever. I’m sorry people, this psychosis goes deeper than you can imagine. I had to deal with this person for nearly 6 years. that a lot of years.
and don’t get me wrong, it took a long time to finally to say “Fuck it. you are unhealthy for me and you need to deal with yourself” and let them go…but i had to save myself.
and you know what? best thing i ever did. now i have friends who are pretty awesome.
example:
GOOD: when i was over with my interview and/or I have something important coming up, my roommate/friend Lisa called me from her boyfriend’s place to ask me how the interview went or she’ll email me to ask me how i’m feeling about a situation. She is genuinely interested in what is going on.
BAD: when i had an interview, bobohead called me to see how the interview went for like 2 seconds and then bitched to me for 45 minutes about how a guy looked in her direction in the dark, during a movie, so hence, he must be in love with her.
GOOD: My roommate/friend John will pick me up at the airport at weird hours and ask me about my trip and i’ll ask him how everythign went when i was gone.
BAD: Bobohead has a habit of picking people up and then when they leave or she drops them off, she talks about them about their back or about how she fulfilled her “obligation” and that she should get payback.
Dude, there’s more but i will stop. i am just NOT looking forward to the one frienemy i’ve had in my life. I mean, I want that shit to be done with. but I love my friend Gina and will do anything for her, even put up with bobohead.
Dude, friendships are about give and take/ love and care/ concern and sometimes misunderstandings or frustration. Friendships are not about competition or making someone feel left out on purpose, nor making sure you are better than the other nor being at your beck and call at all hours of the day. Friendship is not turning all the friends you have left against you. AND NO MATTER WHAT, DOING THAT HURTS DUDE.
Friebdship is not having unreasonable expectations that you will ultimately fail.
I thank you, dear friends who read this, for being my friend.
and I thank bobohead for showing me what is NOT friendship and the warning signs of what a terrible friend i like. That is probably the best positive about that friendship.
I didn’t like her stealing all my friends and making them turn against me. Sorry, I said it again, but it still hurts sometimes.
and everytime i look at her, i’m reminded of that.
Minimal Effort 