SEVEN

I snagged/stole this from Gumphood, who, in turn, stole it from (I believe) Daemonchild. yee-ha.

I have no life…really. Otherwise, I’d be doing something else.


THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

Part I: Anger

1. Who did you last get angry with?

My “fried” Elaine. I do not talk to her anymore, so it’s more indifference now.

2. What is your weapon of choice?

Indifference. People get pissed when they want a reaction from you and you give no reaction.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?

Usually when we’re in bed together…but he seems to like it (no complaints…yet)

4. How about of the same sex?

I used to but I was told I am stronger than I think I am. Uptown girl…(sorry, I’m watching “I love the 80s” on VH-1)

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?

Aforementioned “friend” Elaine.

6. What is your pet peeve?

People who don’t return phone calls and/or messages.

And doing laundry. I hate that shit. I could afford it, I would just throw clothes away and buy new clothes so I would not have to deal with the evil that is laundry.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?

No. However, I am told that I am easily taken advantage of because of my unbelievable forgiving nature (read: people who don’t return phone calls and/or messages). No more. I am going to be unforgiveable like that Clint Eastwood guy. He won an Oscar for that shit y’know.


Part II: Sloth

1. What is one thing you’re supposed to do daily that you haven’t done in a long time?

Watch what I eat.

2. What is the latest you’ve ever woken up?

the latest? Hmm… 2:00 p.m. but that was when I went to a damn rave. (damn ravers)

3. Name a person you’ve been meaning to contact, but haven’t:

Jirrah. But she’s like, impossible to contact! Kerbang, I’m supposed to email him script crap but alas, I am a piece of crap.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?

“Tell her I am sleeping” (In reference to answering a phone call from a person I don’t want to talk to. This is what I told my brother to tell her)

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones…)?

Jesus Christ, that damn Cher hair commercial thingy. Lori Davis hair stuff I think?

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?

Monday, Step-tacular…I would be the most fit girl if I had Step-tacular everyday.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?

2 times.

Part III: Gluttony

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?

Yuppie beverage? What is that? Uh…Long Island Iced Tea…but is that a yuppie beverage?

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?

“I’ll eat a pig’s ass if they cook it right”

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you’ve had in one sitting/outing/event?

Ummm… Like 4 1/2 hard drinks? I’m a light weight. It might be more…if it was, I usually don’t remember after the 4th drink.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?

Yes. I lost like 15 pounds…until I ran out of money.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?

I’m female. Doesn’t that answer your question?

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?

I’m going to die of hypertension (read: salty shit)

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, “LUNCH”?

When I was in Kansas, we were driving by some cows and I said “Dude, I’m going to eat that cow real quick” and Kay said “We should huck it in the trunk. Come here little cow…heeeere little little cow” okay, she didn’t say that, she said something more like “I don’t even see a cow, all I see is steak” We are mean mean girls.

Part IV: Lust

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?

Hmm…oh, not family? Does babysitting count (you know changing diapers and stuff) If no babies…four.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?

Four.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?

No. Does that make me weird?

4. Have you “done it”?

JUST FUCKING SAY IT? Have you had SEX/FUCKED? YES! YES I HAVE!! None of this “done it” shit. (Man, I’m angry)

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?

I have a big thing with hands. Where they are going and how soft they feel..etc etc.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?

How about, if I am walking with my roommate (who is a guy) and HE got propositioned? Wouldn’t that mean I was propositioned indirectly?

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?

Nope. But when I was virgin, I wanted to get tested for pregnancy just to see the different colours. wooo.

Part V: Greed

1. How many credit cards do you own?

How many times do you want me to stab you?

2. What’s your guilty pleasure store?

Virgin Megastore/Tower Records (East coast/west coast)

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?

Pay off ALL of my damn debts. I’m going to be in debt for a million years it seems.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?

FUCKING RICH!

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?

yes. I like to buy things.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?

oh, and how. I stole a man’s heart once and never gave it back. Okay, I lie. But I always wanted to say that to be mean. (I’m just in a mean mood today)

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?

I HAD like 20 Ben Folds Mp3s till my computer crashed and I lost everything. EVERYTHING! I need a cookie.

Part VI: Pride

1. What one thing have you done that you’re most proud of?

Learned how to drive stick shift. Easy you say? Try driving it in San Francisco when the hills are 90 degree angles.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?

ooh. thus far, nothing. Well, maybe graduating college but we are paying loans as we speak and I haven’t utilized my damn degree for shit.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?

Finish a feature film.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?

Second place is the first loser. OF COURSE I’M ANNOYED! (not really, as long as I’m in the top 3)

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?

of course! (I’m a killer speed card player)

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?

I used to steal monopoly money when people went to the bathroom. I’m evil, yes, I am evil.

7. What did you do today that you’re proud of?

I went to work.

Part VII: Envy

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?

Seriously?

Jender’s humour
Frank’s money
Debe and Glen’s present relationship
Kerbang’s composure
My sister’s closeness with her friends
Kay’s body
Wilbur’s smarts
Christine’s hair.

I could go on and on but that would be ridiculous.

2. Who would you want to go on “Trading Spaces” with?

What’s Trading Spaces? Like home? Probably my friend Jill.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?

David Fincher. (although Jennifer Aniston is a close second)

4. Have you ever been cheated on?

What if you were the mistress? (as in my case)

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?

How about all physical features? I wish I had Kaytee’s stomach.

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?

The ability to start and keep a romantic relationship–and not have to settle for a guy who is totally into you but you are not totally into them. An error that I wish not to repeat. (I thought I would grow to like him…boy, was I wrong)

7. Do you wish you’d come up with this survey?

No, I liked filling it out though. It kills time like a mofo.

Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?

Envy. Because I like the colour green. That, and you’re not a) a fat bastard b) a proud ignorant guy c) a lazy mofo d) a prostitute e) a miser.

x_x_x_x_x_x


THE SEVEN HEAVENLY VIRTUES

Part I: Faith

1. What religion do you follow?

I do not believe in organized religion.

2. What religion were you raised as?

Catholic. Sigh.

3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property?

A human property. I find more people are forgiving when they are not affiliated with a religious community. Usually, the religious group is insanely UNforgiving. I mean, c’mon now.

4. Do you believe in magic?

In a young girl’s heart…remember that song in American Pie?

5. What was the last promise you broke?

Hmm.. about a month ago. I told Kerbang I would send him his check and stuff about two weeks ago, but I haven’t done it yet. I’m a lazy bastard.

6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it?

First of all, do I even know what I’m saying? Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…I don’t know what I’m saying people!


7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect?

Perfection can be wearing. I think dogs have perfect love. They will love you no matter what (I say this with guilt because my dog is licking me)

Part II: Hope

1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season?

I think as I grow older, people tend to think I don’t like presents anymore. this makes me sad because I love buying people presents. sniff.

2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for?

Paying off all of my damn bills…that and being a respected member in the film industry (hopefully, as a director)

3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure?

All the time. Unfortunately

3. Do you believe in magic?

Wasn’t this answer asked before? But… David Copperfield magic? sure, why not. They figured it out, they should get the big props.

4. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?

No way. You know, you are more likely to get flesh=eating bacteria seven times over (and get struck by lightning twice)than ever winning the lottery? Dumbass lottery buying lemmings.

5. Do you gamble?

Everyday is a gamble.

6. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then gone ahead and done it anyway?

uh…all the time. I’m a bad person, aren’t I?

7.Do your dreams come true?

I have scary dreams…so thank god no. I once had a dream that everyone was a vampire and I was the last one left and they were searching for me. This was very scary. I ended up hiding in a shelf in a grocery store (remarkably, I could fly in this dream..just not very fast)


Part III: Charity

1. What causes do you support?

Cystic Fibrosis and Poor People Trying to Make Film Cause.

2. What causes have you given money or time to?

Seriously? Too many to mention. I have a lot of time on my hands.

3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless?

What did I do? I remember doing something with Starbucks but I can’t remember at the moment.

4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group?

I have actually. But I have bills. And in all honesty, that is the only thing stopping me. I worry about money a lot.

5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street?

I gave an apple.

Now here’s the thing with the homeless. They are at 0. They have no debt. People like me are still paying for food I ate in 1992. I’m in the negative. Which is better? Who would know? But I’m still paying for food in 1992 1993..etc..

6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food?

Food. I wish I could help out with rent but usually, I’m the one who needs the help. sheesh. I’m pathetic.

7. What’s the greatest extent you’ve gone to help a friend in need?

I flew out to California on a moments notice because my friend said she was contemplating suicide. Sigh.

That, and I give up all my vacation hours for my friend’s film shoots…so essentially, I have never had a vacation until this year.

Part IV: Fortitude

1. What are you most afraid of?

Being fat.

2. What did you do today that was really brave?

Called computer guy. Did my laundry. Opened my bills (AHHHHH!!!)

3. Who is your favorite superhero, and why?

I would say Harry Potter. He’s like a normal guy.

4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone?

Hells yeah. What’s the point if you can’t save another?

5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?

I think….more courage. I would have to courage to move out of my parents house. More heart would make me an emotional wreck and I already have enough trouble with boys with the “brains” I have. Bastards.

6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? If so, when?

I usually improv badly when I have stage fright. I once fell off of a stage..but that’s because they took my glasses off last minute (bastards)

7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower?

I want to be a follower but I am usually made the leader because 1. I hate indecisiveness 2. I am loud.

Part V: Justice

1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty?

Three times! What the fuck is that?!

2. If they reinstituted the draft (for both genders), would you go, or would find some way out of it?

If I didn’t have to worry about my bills, I would totally go. It’s not like I have anything better to do around here..except fill out surveys.

3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)?

Yes.

4. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA?

Who’s that? (Yes, I’m fucking in the dark about current events or not-so-current events. What do you want to me? I went to a California Public School)

5. What was your favorite media circus trial?

Probably the Clinton sex thingy.

6. Have you ever written a letter to a politician?

I think I have…when I was in third grade. But really, did I even care? Does that count that I don’t know what I’m writing?

7. There is no seventh question here…

There is no seventh answer here….

Part VI: Temperence

1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on?

Food.

2. Do you collect anything?

Books and dvds. It’s terrible really. I’m starting to collect television shows on dvd…an expensive habit.

3. Are you addicted to anything?

The internet, going to the theatre, going on long drives so I can finish a cd.

4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan?

My middle name is installment plan. Stop asking me about my lack of financial prowess. I’m poor goddamnit.

5. What’s your preferred method of paying for things?

Visa check card. Cause it takes the money right out. NOne of this waiting for my check to clear crap (ooh, alliteration!)

6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn’t let yourself do:

Bake these cookies. Now I feel yucky.

7. Do you feel that you obsess over things?

I think the question should be when do I NOT obsess over things. Actually, I think I’m half and half. It really depends on the situation. Some things I just don’t care. I obsess about my career or lack thereof.

Part VII: Prudence

1. Who is the wisest person you know?

I think Tyler is pretty wise. Oh, and my friend Debe at the office.

2. Have you ever participated in a vigil?

I’ve seen one in Union Square from a Toys-R-Us store. I wanted to join (this was for September 11th) but it was 1) so crowded there is no way I can fit and 2) I had no candle.

3. Do you take advice when it’s given?

Yes, but usually, it’s bad advice. I’ve learned to listen to my instincts instead. You usually know whats going on the best.

4. What area are you wisest in?

I suppose being optimistic about things and heartbreak. I don’t know why, but I get a lot of people who come to me with heartbreak and/or heartache advice. Probably because I’m still alive. yee-ha.

5. Do you drive defensively?

and offensively.

6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage?

egad. Like…twice. Thank god I’ve had sex more than twice though.

7. What did you learn today?

I have no life.



And of course, what is your favorite heavenly virtue?

Is patience up on this thing? I have none. I would like some.