Month: December 2004

YEAAAH. I got the Monk, Season 1. I had to drive to the Marlboro Mall [some pond mall] and they had one copy left…just one.

dude, it was 60 bucks. so i paid 20, since my suncoast card paid for 40 of it. not bad. not bad at all.

i then got us a new television for the house and then got some mixers for the party i’m going tonight.

i need a new fucking phone. i was getting phone calls up the wazoo today and i had to fucking scream in it. unfortunately, my glasses are broken and must fix that first. must see before i can talk. unfortunately again, the optometrist office isn’t open until next year. sheesh. and i have toothache.

i am falling apart.

as per usual, my new year’s resolutions:

1. finish a script.
2. lose 50 pounds…i will gift myself something every 5 pounds i lose.
[i was told by my coworker that i would be anorexic if i lost 50 pounds but according to my california doctor, i should have no boobs and be mad tiny. sigh]
3. be bikini ready for vegas.
4. quit smoking.
5. go back into step aerobics…even if i have to do it at home goddamanit.

and now five new ones:

1. learn how to say “I said there are no egos here fucko!” in three different languages.
2. go to one sporting event..baseball, football, fucking hockey even.
3. try to eat a salad once a week. [yuck]
4. have one boy spend the night in my bed [has never ever ever EVER happened. i have weird issues about sharing my bed.]
5. spend a night in canada.
6. make my social calendar as it was in california.

ok. secretly i want to watch my Monk dvds tonight but the pressure to be social on new year’s eve is overwhelming. i am off to become drunk and obnoxious.

happy 2005 yo.

so i’m shoveling snow today. i was totally feening for cigarettes and saw my friend online. i say ‘friend, do you have cigarettes?’ friend says ‘yes, come on down!’…so i was down over there like crack-whore and a crack blow-job. i come back…and i can’t get my car up the driveway.

oh, for the love of fucking god.

so i shovel and shovel and shovel.

oh, and i shovel. all by my lonesome.

my glasses slip off my face and BREAK. i cannot see to save my life. i throw my shovel and swear out loud and go inside…and i fucking tape my glasses. this is so embarrassing. and i have to go to work this week, until my eye appointment with fucking TAPE ON MY FUCKING GLASSES.

i am so pissed right now.

then i get a toothache from some cold chocolate i ate. great. oh, and did i mention that my cd car adaptor doesn’t work? yeah, so i’m listening to 3 mixed tapes i made in the early y2k years. i have to listen to that shit over and over again until i get a new cd car adaptor. FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

in other news, i am dying to get the monk season 1 dvd. nobody got it for me, as i am told, it is a tough find. citgo did find it for me in the marlboro mall, so i’m off to the mall on wednesday most likely to pick it up with this gift card that my friend steve gave me for christmas.

please, week, please get better.

my head is going to explode. i’m not sure where is this coming from, i suspect from my lack of caffeine.

i wish i had nyquil…capital N, capital fucking Q…to go into a coma. but i spent my last five bucks [actually my roommate’s five bucks] on gas to get to and from work.

this is what i had today:

breakfast: nothing. i am broke

lunch: 3 hard boiled eggs that my coworkers took glee in teasing me. [everything is a production in hilarity with me. i’m glad to bring joy with my awkwardness to life]

dinner: 3 blueberry pancakes.

that’s right people. the only things i have left to eat are blueberry pancake mix, top ramen and eggs. that’s it.

man, this is going to be a story to tell in my 30s. unless, i’m still in the same shit in my 30s. however, in your 20s, you’re supposed to be poor.

sometimes, just sometimes, i wish someone would take care of me and buy me meat and diet coke. oh, and nyquil.

this headache isn’t doing any better staring at the tape in my glasses.

if someone has nyquil and a shotgun, please, look me up.

Merry Belated Christmas everyone, I hope you had some good holiday cheer.

I was, in a way, spoiled on Christmas. MA is interesting that way. They always want to make sure you’re okay which I think is odd—yet awesome. Such treatment did not exist in California and [sort of] in New York for that matter.

Two of my roommates have gotten me gifts. Risanator got me the wallet I’ve been drooling after and Phillip got me a hilarious dvd, called Revolution Cho. He said he watched the stand up and thought I would laugh my ass off. Yes, she has the ‘i am a daughter of immigrant’ jokes down pat…which I love and can relate to.

Christmas Eve, I was home alone to an empty house which was kind of odd and not too lonely after the first 11 hours–i watched a bunch of dvds, i did my laundry, did all the dishes, cleaned my room like a mofo. At the 12th hour, then I felt a little bit lonely and LO AND BEHOLD, like an abc family special, my friends mike and keith call me within a 10 minute span and want to know if i want to hang out! Wow, i really do have friends that care which is fucking AWESOME. [my roommates count as well, of course, but they are all with their respective families].

On actual Christmas day, I was invited to four dinners! like WOW! I went to the first dinner I was invited to and her family is hilarious. It reminds me of a sitcom sometimes and they spoiled me to death with a bunch of gifts. I got three wrapped gifts from them [i say wrapped because when i opened them, there were MORE presents!]. And can I say, best roast beef ever? Thank you Samantha, for your hospitality.

Afterwards, as per usual, I wanted to see a film on christmas…suffice it to say, this is my first christmas I did not go to the theaters on christmas. AAHHHHHH. Last Christmas, I spent with John’s family and we went to see Return of the King. This year, I want to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, but [although I really don’t have to, because he’ll probably see it without me] was waiting until John arrived from Ireland.

regardless, I had movie plans with my friend Keith and he and his roommate could not decide between Blade Trinity [I hadn’t seen the first two, so I said I didn’t really want to see that], or National Treasure [are you kidding me?]…however, beggars cannot be choosers and I said [since Keith was using his mom’s gift certificates] I would watch whatever. In the end, he just invited me over and I watched Minority Report with him and his roommates. Keith also spoiled me with three gifts [what’s up with the three gifts?] wherein he gave me America: The Book, a Scooby Stocking full on tiny treats [the snoopy deck of cards was my favorite] and a framed picture of something he took a picture of…a side rear view mirror, which I like the underlying meaning of [well, that’s how i interpreted it]. good times, good times.

Man, this is going to be a long weekend. I am mad broke but, I am all warm and fuzzy from these people spending time with me and actually…giving a crap about what i was doing! Thanks guys.

The only disappointing thing about this christmas is that one of my gifts didn’t come in on time and had to tell my friend WHAT it was rather than give it to him. I suck. DAMN YOU EXPEDITED SHIPPING!

Um. Other than that, everything was awesome. So I’m hoping new year’s eve will just as entertaining, if not more…

on a final note [and somewhat unrelated note], sometimes life is just not fair…damn you life and your unfairness, give me a break sometime, will ya?

Okay, for all you last minute shoppers who love me, here’s what to get me, in SPECIFIC ORDER:

1. Monk, Season 1. I love that shit.
2. Monk, Season 2. I love that shit.
3. a snoopy wallet. I love that shit. [i was going to buy one for myself, but Risa refused for me to get it. DOH!]
4. Waterproof pants for snowboarding.
5. A boyfriend who likes to have a lot of sex. and buy me gifts. like, Monk, Season 1. bwahahahahaha. [only physical stipulation, he has to be taller than me]
6. Any cool sweater from Urban Outfitters.
7. Any cool pair of jeans from Old Navy or the Gap.
8. an Ipod.
9. a movie ticket [yes, i am a movie WHORE]
10. two movie tickets.
11. a mixed cd. i love that shit.

So there are some ideas which indicates your beloved shrine to your beloved sharon.

oh, and it takes me 12 hours to digest food. I did a test. I was told crapping two times a day is bad. Is it really that bad?

still in the process of consolidating my diaries…but i will give a mini-update.
my sister is coming into town next week! i’m totally excited. we’re probably going to new york and on saturday, my friend keith wanted to take us out on ‘a night on the town’. that will be great. i wish she could stay longer.
i was using the bathroom at work and i looked down on the floor, and there were NAIL CLIPPINGS. what were they doing there? who was clipping their nail while in the bathroom at work for god sakes.
christmas is driving me crazy. i’m just closing my eyes to it and hope it will pass me by quickly and painlessly. my bank account will, however, is going to need a frontal lobotomy.
i’m going to start fresh next year. everyone says that but i’m going to cut a lot of vices. no more consolation prizes, no more excuses..just hard work.
i have my eye on a prize. i want to work for an editing console in either austrailia or london. i’m building my credentials. unless i get offered a position that makes me do mad traveling at my current job, i’m looking to go up and out and much more travelling. i can’t stand being cooped up here for very long.
i am going to be celebrating my one year anniversary of no making out and three years of no sex..i mean, chastity with another human being. it’s been so long though, i think i could possibly live without it. i don’t remember what it’s like to be intimate with another human being…is it really all that? heh heh heh. however, i am optimistic that some guy will sweep me off my feet and change my mind. doubt it will be in massachusetts…but who knows? maybe the snow will change my mind.
i googled myself online. i’m an anchorwoman in ohio or something. that’s exciting. google is dangerous and great and awful all at the same time.
i’m babbling of course, but that is because i’m watching letha weapon 2 and a friend of mine yelled at me on the phone just now. but that’s fine. just showed me more of what a kind of person this person is.
okay, i’m off to play halo 2 with some friends down the street. more on nail clippings and work bathrooms in the near future dear readers.

Wow, i poured my heart out in my last entry…and it did not evaporate, instead it evoked a response from my friends that i didn’t expect…and i thank you so much for making me feel better.

I read in my sister’s best friend’s diary today that “People will be who they are, but Friends are willing to admit your own faults to you and not only recognize that you’re drowning, but actually do something to save you.” Even though i wasn’t actually drowning…more like treading water that I was swallowing ever now and then, it was great to know that i not only have lifeguards, but some buoys and a boat on standby and some swimmers nearby.

sandy told me that ‘you know, we all get crazy and it’s okay.’–that made me feel better that it’s okay to be crazy. samantha told me how important i was. gumphood told me i was never satisfied because i always something more [which, in turn, is a double edged sword]…but john, john made me feel like a million bucks. no wonder he’s a writer.

he said “I don’t care how crazy you are or get, i will never abandon you.” just the promise that one person will not abandon me just made me feel uber lucky that i have friends like these.

thank you.

in other news, my back…well actually my shoulder, is killing me. it’s a lot better thanks to ready’s massage therapy but it still hurts a bit. he had his friend michelle, massage therapist extraordinaire come over and do some deep tissue massage on my shoulder and she was like “this is really deep. it’s so deep that it must be due to stress and not sleeping on it wrong.” dammit. and now i’m addicted to massage therapy. i want someone to get into me mad deep and massage the shit out of my shoulder until its gone. but that will be expensive.

i’m in the middle of 3 books right now, that i keep swapping…scar tissue by anthony kiedis and ghostwriter….dude, that kid did a LOT of drugs…talk about inspiring [now that he’s sober]…America by Jon Stewart [already a classic] and Faithful about the Red sox season.

Furthermore, i think my friends recognize that my insanity and depression is due to the weather. i wake up, there’s no sun. i go to bed, there’s no sun. John says “you need to appreciate and love the snow–let’s go sledding”…which now i have to do. ok.

i wish i had money to buy cute clothes…but i admit, i love christmas shopping.

okay, i’m all over the place. i’m wonder if i’m manic-depressive? excuse me, the proper term is “bipolar”. yikes.

please don’t abandon me friends. i’m not insane all the time.

thanks again.

love,

the insane california chick.

wow, my stomach is killing me. so is green bay. DAMN YOU GREEN BAY. SCORE SOMETHING FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

okay, enough of that. You know what is a bad combination? a book that indicates that “he is not that into you” and alcohol. bad bad combination because then you flip out on people.

case in point: got drunk with the roommates last night and had a discussion [read: argument] with all the boys in the room. i live with 2 girls and 6 guys…4 of them were reading the book i just finished last night.

on and on they said how that book is flawed and gave countless examples how a guy COULD be into you but is just scared. this entailed more drinking and in the end, some wrestling of some sort [i was not a part of this wrestling snafu]. however, i think whilst this discussion, i text messaged a good number of people that i don’t recall text messaging and got a bunch later around midnight when trying to go to bed.

bad combination number 2: alcohol, plus book about understanding boys plus cell phone.

how many times have you been drunk dialed? I have been drunk dialed a ton of times–mostly by girls who are in the midst of a relationship crisis, girls who just had the best sex ever [yeah, it’s weird, huh?] or ex-boyfriends who tell me they want me RIGHT now. yikes. drunk dialing…usually is cause of regrettable mistakes and shameful morning voice mails.

now i have gas. and i’m going to watch a movie. and never again, will i mix a book on understanding guys with any sort of chemical or liquid influence.

oh yeah…and acqui di gio, nautica or that tommy shit? that is what we women call LIQUID PANTY REMOVER. Use it and why the fuck not, abuse it.

that’s all.

p.s. i am almost done converting all my entries to livejournal. went from having 321 entries here to 150 + entries. this is a long and tedious progress.

FOR FUCK’S SAKE GREEN BAY. FOR FUCK’S SAKE. okay.

i’m done.

I’m reading this really cool book called “he’s just not that into you” and essentially, it is pretty much every experience I have had with every guy I have ever had…PERIOD. It was written by a consultant and editor of that badass sitcom—Sex and the City. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that show because the flaws those women have, albeit painful to watch, are true to life. God, I love that show.

Anyway, I wonder, if you were in a relationship and you were reading that book…how would the guy in this relationship react to you reading that book? Does that freak him out? Hmmm. Interesting.

Well, I’m going to be primarily going to be in this diary from now on. If you already didn’t know, I have two diaries, one here and the other on diaryland. I’m in the process of consolidating both because somebody who I didn’t want to read the other diary googled the SHIT out of it and I don’t like not having the privacy controls that is so user friendly on this blog format.

Of course, this will not interrupt our regularly scheduled program, I will just have a lot more past entries now. WHEEEEEEE…

Christmas is coming. Hells yeah bitches.