Month: August 2004

Top Five Favorite Other Diaries to Read:
–Kerbang
–Lobsterchick
–Gumphood
–VomitingCod
–Concreteslip

Top Five Favorite notes left:

–from concreteslip :
you managed to tape your eye while driving stick, dang. that’s some mad crazy pirate skills.

–from kerbang :
do NOT give computer guy your diary address. that would be like me giving…uh…giving…fuck. i need a woman.

–from kerbang :
I am rolling my eyes as we speak. This makes it very hard to type. And we are not actually speaking. So this is both difficult and fallacious.

–from dinguspie :
great entry, man. about the porn. I have this friend–gump and kerbang too–who went to the air force academy. he suffered through boot camp all summer, and he hadn’t played with grandma even once all summer. So when he got home (he dropped out, as we expected) he was like…’hmm…hey…this is gonna be awesome!’ Indeed, it was: he shot himself in the eye, just like your pal. Moral? You gotta take care of business with greater frequency.

–from concreteslip :
wait. you “blow”..?

Top Five Notes from Gumphood [he’s a frequent visitor]:

–from gumphood :
Needless to say, I need to stop reading philsophy and get laid. —-Sam’s life story…hehehe

–from gumphood :
you are going to date a co-worker.

–from gumphood :
Well put a crown on me cause I am the only one to NOT puke in Casa De Malden. That’s right folks, Champion again. This includes tons of others as well, like Sam tossed, and Broken Face, and Kevins Girl, and all those other bitches who can’t hold in the liquer. Gump ~smooth since 1979

–from gumphood :
Cheating on John again. I think that you will be in love with some of the new charecters that are going to be getting unlocked. I mean…assasin. Beserker. Sofatia, Sung Mina…the list goes on and on and on….(dork note)

–from gumphood :
What’s that on your belt? Let me get it off for you.

Top Five Favorite SNL Cast Members:

–Tim Meadows
–Mike Myers
–Phil Hartman
–Horatio Sanz
–Bill Murray

Favorite time I faked that I was somebody else on diaryland:

August 10, 2003

dinguspie – 2003-08-05 16:37:26
here’s an idea how about you go fuck yourself
——————————-
Gumphood’s answer – 2003-08-05 16:46:54
The door shut. 23 years of partnership and that’s the last thing that was ever said.
He made it clear that he didn’t want any more shit from me. He made it clear that my thoughts meant nothing to him. That our love meant nothing to him. It was all over. My drug habit had finally ended the only happiness I had left.
The only thing left for me now was the street and death.
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 16:51:24
hey that wasn’t me!
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 16:58:38
hmm. there has been massive confusion. I didn’t pen the comment that says: “Hey that wasn’t me!” which is weird, because the entry that THAT entry disowns was, in fact, written by me. To wit: here’s an idea. how about you go fuck yourself?
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 17:27:59
maybe insanity has taken over my hands. Down, hands, down!
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 17:28:56
ok…that wasn’t me either
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 17:36:58
ok…I don’t know which is me anymore.
——————————-
Paige – 2003-08-05 20:56:47
It’s dinguspie theater
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 21:11:25
ahhhh! someone is signing comments with my name! other than me!
——————————-
dinguspie – 2003-08-05 21:53:39
ahhhh! why am I doing this to myself? who am I trying to fool?
*

Top Three Entries that people like to read

–boyfriend application..http://anniewaits18.diaryland.com/application.html
–roommate series/Gumphood
–three holes…http://anniewaits18.diaryland.com/sanfran.html

Favorite Cons List [about moving to Mass]

Cons:
It is hella hella hella hella hella hella hella cold
It is hella hella hella hella hella hella hella cold
The freeways only have two lanes.
* I know like four people.
* “It’s a shithole” says Vikram
* Free editing means I have to actually show it on Public Access. I do not want to die by people I offend.
* I could easily see me saying “Dude, I’m going to Concord (or Conquered however it is spelled)
* Do people have sex in Chelmsford?
* Boredom ? (that could be a neutral factor because it might force me to write shit)

Favorite Conversation that I recounted in an entry

June 11, 2003

3. Convo with Wilbur
Me: Talk to me until Computer guy calls back.
Wilbur: What, you’re over me?
Me: Yes. This train has sailed.
Wilbur: I don’t know about this. I might be jealous now.
Me: Oh, will you shut up.
Wilbur: So, that’s it? You’re over me?
Me: Dude, I like people fast, I fall out of like with people fast. Deal with it.
Wilbur: Don’t deny it never happened!!
Me: What happened?
Wilbur: Whatever.
Convo with Wilbur 2
Wilbur: So what happened on the date?
Me: We had dinner. We talked all night. He put his hand on my leg.
Wilbur: Sounds good.
Me: I was like…ooh, his hand is on my leg. I don’t know what he said because I just kept thinking “his hand is on my leg, his hand on my leg” Needless to say, it was exciting.
Wilbur: Oh, you have a new guy. Yes! Finally got rid of her!
Me: What?
Wilbur: Nothing.
Me; You are such an asshole.
Wilbur: Excuse you, who wanted to see who for lunch today?
Me: You’re still a bastard. So tell me about YOUR date.
Wilbur: well…(enter ellipsis here)

Top Five Favorite Queen Songs
–You’re My Best Friend
–Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy
–Bicycle Race
–I wanna be free [ok, i TOTALLY forgot the title of the song]
–Killer Queen

Top Five Things I Wrote About
–boys
–relationships
–television
–random shit
–favorite lists

Top Five Reasons Why I’m doing my last entry as a list entry

–I wrote a sappy entry..deleted it
–I wrote a funny entry…not funny enough..deleted it
–I have gas [shouldn’t had mac and cheese tonight…and you said let’s go mexi…nevermind]
–I said “fuck it”
–I like typing in hyphens

Top Five Things that changed about me since starting this diary

–not as sarcastic as i used to be [damn!]
–i was always in crushes, i am officially crush proof
–finally had broke my sex drought [woohoo…now on drought number 2..doubly woohoo!]
–learned how to play Soul Caliber
–I drink way too much

Top Five Things I hate

–being lactose intolerant
–not having a dvd player
–the massachusetts weather
–people who break their promises
–guilt trips

Top Five Chicken Dishes

–chicken picatta
–chicken madori
–teriyaki chicken
–pan fried chicken
–salt and pepper chicken from Chopsticks

Top Five Reasons Why I am Leaving Diaryland

–keeping up two diaries is hard work. my livejournal is the more older and more read diary
–I can’t afford to be “gold”…hence my missing picture for the diary
–I like how ANYBODY can comment on my livejournal entries whereas diaryland, you need a membership
–Most of the people I read don’t update here anyway
–You can’t google my entries in Diaryland [damn straight]

Top Five People who read both diaries anyway
–Jasmine
–Jaymee
–Kevin
–Gumphood
–John [depending on which John is up to you]

Top Five Secrets

–Nate Boxley is Gumphood. I figured it out. Sorry.
–Kerbang played a prank on him by iming him with the Nate Boxley handle
–Everyone knew about the Nate Boxley prank [vomitingcod, dinguspie, the other guy, vikram]
–I pluck my eyebrows
–I’m in love with lobsterchick. sorry.

I have so much to say but not enough patience nor bravery to type it out, so instead, i will talk about hair and scorecards.

Example of a scorecard:

[scale of 1 to 5]

Breath-4

Hair-2

Intelligence-4.5

Humor-4.5

Sense of humor-4

Height and Weight-3.5

Hands-4.85

Car-11 [heh heh heh]

Thoughtfulness-5

well, you get the idea. I still need to work on the logistics of this card.

but future suitors, make sure you get at least a 3 in all categories. you get to have 2 categories to fail. I think all girls should have scorecards.

I think i need more categories like choice of moisturizer or if he owns a Ben folds cd. I think I will begin dating again and give you guys scorecards, heh heh heh. i’m such a bitch.

Hair–maybe this is a massachusetts thing, but guys are mad concerned about their hair! I must not pay attention or whatever, but at least 10 guys [can you believe i know that many guys here? well, i do work in tech support…computer geeks] have told me concerns about their hair. I mean, do they watch the propecia or hair club for men commercials and think about joining? Are they doing preventitive [i KNOW that’s spelled wrong] hair…stuff? Girls are obsessed about their weight…guys, their hair.

it’s sort of comforting. some ammunition you can place in your back pocket for that BIG fight where all the big guns are up.

I had a great weekend this past weekend and that’s all i can say. it was pretty awesome. I went to a casino, hampton beach and saw dave attell do standup.

he’s was totally ripping on filipinos [which i am]…which I LOVE. good work dave.

i bought this new lip gloss. i’m hoping that will encourage guys to just gently bend over and wonder it tastes like. or should I say, “this taste like berry, but i’m not sure, can you check?” lame, i know.

…does anyone out there have any good pickup lines i can try? I’ll post the results up here.

and i said GOOD pick up lines not lame ones that get you slapped or where you get the eye roll.

this is all i have for now.

Hells yeah. I’m going to see Dave Attell tomorrow night with Steve. I’m excited. Dave is mad funny.

Okay, this is several hours later that I’m here. I’m going to vent. I am the only one on the fucking phones for the last hour trying to field these stupid california calls on a friday night. goddamnit. I hate it, i hate it, i hate it. Especially when I don’t know what to do….

what the fuck.

i want to go out and forget people who have problems all the time.

GODDAMNIT!

p.s. what a shift in mood!

I injured myself in jiu jitsu class today trying to sweep kevin and my knee went the wrong direction and i fell on top of him.

of course, i was rolling on the ground, clutching my knee. my face was red, not because of pain –and it did hurt– because, HELLO EMBARRASSMENT CITY!

Along with that, i lost my hearing [that happens to me when i’m a) in pain b) in shock or c) having an orgasm. Weird, huh?] and all I saw was red….

i also felt a little lightheaded and that i was going to throw up…i actually felt like i was going to faint but, i said “self, holy shit if you faint, you will look like a) a loser and b) a weakling”…so I don’t know how i did it [i probably looked constipated] but somehow i survived.

one last thing, you know what is the greatest feeling? When you know somebody genuinely cares about you…because that means, if something happens to me, one person is going to try to see what the hell happened to me.

and that feels great that somebody would care that much. i’m feeling cheesy. i’m a dork.

I had a meeting at work today which started at 830 a.m. I usually start work at 10 a.m.

Imagine my dismay to wake up early.

Waking up early is a completely different experience. Usually, when I wake up, everyone is gone. This time, I woke up at 6am and it took me about half an hour to get out of bed. Took a shower [while everyone is still sleeping] and tried looking for my jazzercise tape, so I can do an early morning workout.

As I was doing that, my room smelled a bit musty, so I went up two flights of stairs and searched for a lighter. On the third floor, I saw Paulette, all dressed up and ready to go to work and i heard Kevin talking on the phone about work.

Wow, so things DO happen when I sleep!

I said hi to paulette, who seemed surprised at my early rising and I weighed myself for..fun, I guess.

Went back downstairs to hear Lisa leave. Went to look for my jazzercise tape in a box and Gumphood walks out of his door, surprised at my early rising and takes a shower. I go in the bathroom and down comes Kevin, looking TIRED…and asking if he can use my gel [hmmm…has he been using it every morning?]. I clean up a bit, I go to work.

Usually, when I’m up, EVERYONE is gone and I usually walk in my underwear because I know everyone is gone. Hee hee. Every now and then, I do, in fact walk naked [sometimes i forget my towel!]

I was caught ONCE. I woke up, went to take a shower, went into my room to lotion and whatever. Then I walked into the bathroom [i usually leave the light on and my straightener on] not thinking anything and I saw Philip through the door crack [the door was partially open] I screamed because i was in my underwear and he screamed like a woman! That was great.

I ran into my room and Philip said “Oh my god, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Even though he did NOT get a heart attack, I’m glad I got him to scream because I believe it will be the first and last I get to hear Philip scream.

So much for walking around in my underwear.

I called in sick to work yesterday and it felt good. I just slept all day and had some lunch with John and took care of some shit that I got myself deep into.

A deep ol’ shithole.

Something smells funny in my cube. Is it my feet?

Well, so I came back to work today and everyone was so happy to see me! Wow. I feel special and yet, am happy that I missed work. I’m much more calmer and things are much more clear methinks.

I’m going out drinking on saturday and hopefully friday.

I’m excited. My friend Mike and his girl Meg are moving not too far [like 2 blocks away from me] so more people to hang out with!

I need to calm some shit down in my life.

This entry is all over the place, I know. So is my head. So is my heart.

What heart? Yeah, I didn’t know I had one either.

Okay. A much more concise and structured entry to follow.

my roommates are driving me crazy.

apparently someone stole their water guns and i was accused.

i did not appreciate being accused as

a)i don’t care about their stupid guns

b)i’m thinking about moving out ANYWAY

c)i don’t have any patience to be associating with the roommates as of late ANYWAY.

needless to say, to be accused while i’m on a difficult call about audio underruns and SCSI drives…and while my office friends are going insane…and worrying about my weigh in at weight watchers…and having my job review…

the accusation about the water guns topped my cake off. and i said “THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD IT!!!!”

one of the problems here is that my patience is really wearing thin, so give false accusations just made me simulateneously implode and explode.

in other imploding and exploding news, i totally lost my shit at work yesterday. long story short a woman accused me of being incompetent and said “can you transfer me to someone who actually knows how to edit/the product?” and I sweetly said, “one moment please” and I threw my headset on the ground and screamed. Then I walked around the office in a fury.

I WAS SO ANGRY.

Turns out, i broke my headset because of my little temper tantrum. The caller was like “HELLO?! HELLO?!??!” [I put her on hold for 10 minutes because she pissed me off] and then i came on and said “A more COMPETENT REP will call you back in a minute” and she promptly hung up.

Yeah, we all hate technical support but to accuse your local tech support rep of stupid shit—especially if you have NO IDEA what you are doing–is ridiculous. It’s one thing to call in and say “Yeah, i’m don’t know much about computers” –we’re pretty nice about it..that’s why we get paid. but to call in and say “Yeah, the thing you made me do? I lost all my media” YEAH RIGHT BITCH. Do you even know where your fucking media IS?! Didn’t think so. You would’t lose your shit unless i say a) press the delete button or b) throw your hard drive out the window.

sorry, the whole job/roommate/watching my weight just totally tipped me off and now i’m just annoyed with everyone.

afterwards, after i broke my headset, i went into my coworker’s steve’s cubicle and burst into tears. he, of course, hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder which was awesome of him. called the bitch back for me and gave her a little lesson in etiquette. i have to admit it to steve, he really has my back. we then went out for beers afer work because i felt so shitty.

i have to say, i have really made some loyal friends in MA…already! i have always been afraid that in my bad days, there would nobody to be there

and there always has.

thanks MA!

love,

sharon ‘everything is annoying the shit out of me right now’