Month: June 2004

Dear diary,

The next couple of weeks are going to be pretty awesome I think.

To Jeff and Steve: If you guys keep making fun of me and this diary, why do you read it so much. Bastards.

I’m working on a project with one of the boys here. It’s going to be great AND I’ll get to be at his place for extensive amounts of time…so roommates, don’t expect me to be home much…bwahahahaha.

I told my roommate Philip about my project [we’re dropping a new product in the next coming weeks here, so I need to overhaul some mad overtime] and I told him who I was working with and he said “Dude, I need to buy you a box of condoms”…am I mixing work with pleasure? Is that “bad”?

Philip has also made a declaration: “My personal goal is to get your laid by August 31. And by god, if you don’t get laid, i’ll just have to do it myself.”

Needless to say, I love Philip. He indicated to me last night that I was the one he got along with the most.

Man, I rock.

In other news, I just came back from a wedding in california and got my nails done. These nails are going to be the end of me goddamnit! The END OF ME. I can’t open soda cans and have to be sort of weak and ask my coworkers or Philip to open them for me. Godfucking damnit. I need to get these thingys off.

oh cute guy is a-calling. I’ll be home late tonight guys.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Since there are new people in the house and a number of you read all our diaries [I guess], here is a quick overview of people who NOW live in the house.

FIRST FLOOR:

GUMPHOOD aka Ortiz.

How to spot Gump:

1. The guy with the angry face when losing a video game.

2. The guy that ends all his sentences with “Oh, and rent’s due.”

3. The guy holding his pencil like he’s trying to do lobotomy surgery on his head.

4. The guy who utilizes sweat as hair gel.

5. The guy who wants a beer pong competition for his parking spot when he knows he is the best beer pong player in the house.

Top five Gump quotes:

1. “We were abortions” –in reference to how he and his friends looked in high school

2. “Yeah, I would be number one and John would be number 2” –in reference to Starcraft game playing

3. “I took a lot of heat.” –in reference to making ‘rules’ in the house.

4. “Shinski, I think you popped my eye out.” – in reference to me choking him…in jiu jitsu class.

5. “I love Philip.” – Gump referring to his undying love for Philip.

PHILIP

How to spot Philip:

1. The guy who is wearing cargo shorts, flip flops, a bracelet and an AE shirt with cap to boot.

2. The tall guy

3. The guy who is constantly staring at your breasts

4. The guy who can cook

5. The guy who can turn a grandfather clock into a dvd holder and television stand.

Top five Philip quotes:

1. “Yeah, I would like to bang that pootnanny” –any woman who is walking

2. “There was this guy and he had chicken samples and he kept chasing people saying SAMPOL!! SAMPOL!!! SAMPOL!!” –in reference to the SAMPOL guy at the mall.

3. “Man, who feets smell? Is it me?” –Philip trying to hint to the people in the room that somebody’s feet smeel.

4. “WHY CAN’T I BEAT YOU?! I can beat everyone in the house except for you” –in reference to his inability to defeat me in Soul Caliber.

5. “Why didn’t you tell me she’s a white girl? You know I’m been looking to get with a white girl. I need my white girl fix.” –in reference to my friend Stacy.

SHARON

How to spot Sharon:

1. The asian girl.

2. The asian girl with glasses.

3. The girl drinking diet coke and eating chicken.

4. The drunk asian girl calling you a “fucking cunt”

5. The girl who is microwaving her food

Top five Sharon quotes:

1. “AHHHHHH!!!! You scared me” to any person in the house who is standing.

2. “Just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I’m any good at math.” –to anybody in the house asking me a math problem.

3. “Are you masturbating?” –whenever I knock on any of the roommate’s doors

4. “I HATE YOU ALL!” –what I say when I’m drunk

5. “Godfuckingdamnityoumuthafuckingcuntwhore…holy mary mother of god” –in response to anything

THE SECOND FLOOR

KERBANGaka John

How to spot John:

1. The guy who wears the same red shirt in every picture ever made.

2. The guy leaves his pot of water burning until the fire alarm goes off.

3. The guy who ends his diaryland entries with ‘that is all.’

4. The guy who gets sassy with you when either a) playing soul caliber or b) drunk or c) both

5. The guy who turns his head to the side when taking a picture

Top five John quotes:

1. “I am so underwhelmed.” –when John opened his package of special brads for his script

2. “You got SERVED” –when John seems to think he has ‘served’ me.

3. “Indeed” –when John tries to annoy the people around him.

4. “…I said ‘This ship is in danger of sinking if SOMEBODY doesn’t do something about it’ indicating that that somebody had to be me because everyone else is an idiot…”—John telling me about Casa de Malden falling apart.

5. “…I mean….” –[this can only be done with John’s waving his hands in the air] –whenever John starts a sentence or trying to be self righteous.

GOVINDA

How to spot Govinda:

1. Find an internet connection that works. Follow the cable into her room.

2. Find our house in Malden, she’s everywhere BUT there.

3. The girl who hides in the corner when she does come home to sleep.

4. The girl who says nothing in the kitchen

5. I think she uses the bathroom as well, you might want to check there.

Top five Govinda quotes:

“ ” –when Govinda is eating.

“ ” – [with a slight nod] when Govinda acknowledges your presence

“ ” – when Govinda silently comes in to watch beer pong

“ This is Bob.” –When Govinda is introducing us to her friend Bob.

“hahahaha” –when I do an impression of John.

THE THIRD FLOOR

PAULETTE

How to spot Paulette:

1. The girl with her hair tied back, wearing a sweatshirt and runner shorts

2. The tiniest girl in the house.

3. The girl with the seemingly Italian guy, named Tony.

4. The girl with the highest octave voice [the rest of us Is pretty low]

5. The girl who is with Lisa eating ice cream.

[ed. Note: I don’t see her often, so this list kind of sucks]

Top five Paulette quotes:

1. “Hey, I live here too.” –telling Kevin that he cannot make all the rules at the roommate meeting.

2. “He DOES sound like that!” –when I do an impression of John.

3. “I’m going to ask John about the horses in his room and then ask him to demonstrate the Nordic chair just to see what he says.” –when Paulette saw the horses in John’s room.

4. “And there is he was, sitting like 3 pounds of pasta and I thought, I guess there’s no lunch tomorrow.” –Paulette telling us that a house guest ate 3 pounds of her pasta.

5. “Oh, that’s cause I work with retarded children all day” –indicating she understands what Philip is saying with his mouth full.

KEVINaka Ready

How to spot Kevin:

1. Find the guy who you think is talking to you but is not—he’s talking on the phone, he has a headset on.

2. The guy wearing a silk blue button down shirt and slacks and nice shoes.

3. The guy singing cowboy music karaoke.

4. The guy trying to show you what a kagayshi [sp?] is and how he’s doing it right and how you are doing it wrong.

5. The guy checking out the blonde skinny chicks at a eurotrash bar.

Top five Kevin quotes:

1. “I have a Volvo S60 T5. It’s so fast but I need a spoiler to make it faster.” –Kevin talking about…what do you think?

2. “This isn’t fair. I could break Sharon’s arm and she wouldn’t feel it.” Kevin talking to our black belt about arm bars

3. “Everytime I talk to [Gumphood] , rent is due. It’s like, ‘yeah…kevin, you need to quiet down. …oh and rent is due.” –Kevin’s impression of Gumphood

4. “That girl is HOT!” –in reference to Hellboy’s lead female character who burst into flames

5. “THE SQUIRE!!!” –everytime we pass the Squire, Kevin scratches at the window.

AND I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST…

LISAaka Risa

How to spot Lisa:

1. The girl who is trying to tell a story but you can’t understand her because she interrupts herself with “BWAHAHAHAHAHA”

2. Anywhere that lead deftone guy is, she’s probably there

3. The girl with red and/or black and that spiked belt

4. The girl who is straightening her hair while iming a person online

5. The girl who is cleaning the bathroom and yelling “FUUUUUUCK!”

Top five Lisa quotes:

1. “I’M A DJ! I’M A DJ!!” –Lisa announcing that she is about to masturbate.

2. “GLEN! GLEN, GLEN, GLEN, GLEN…”—Lisa singing the starbucks commercial

3. “I’m fat, you’re fat, I’ll meet you in the kitchen” –Lisa indicating what her favorite card is.

4. “FUUUUUCK!” –anytime Lisa is upset

5. “DUDE, I DON’T CARE.” –anytime Lisa talks to Kevin. hehe

that just happened to be the last lyric I was listening, this song called “They’ll Need a Crane.” I just burned a TMBG cd with like 45 billion songs and it’s less than an hour. Damn you TMBG!

I’m alone in the house right now on father’s day because I don’t have a father. just kidding, i do and he’s pretty cool but he’s across the country and i think we usually just eat at Hometown Buffet. I’m sure when I’m older and I say things like ‘Yeah buffy, that was a great opera’ and wearing sweaters tied around my shoulders, i’ll be able to afford to fly a jet to california and give my dad the state of the art razor to use. He’ll give me a confused look since he only has a mustache–but I’ll say “Daddy-kins, it cost me over a grand and it’s a GILLETTE-A-MATIC 8000”.

I’m thinking of watching a movie either in Lowell or Revere depending if I get a callback from a girlfriend of mine in Lowell. [ahem, samantha]. Things in MA are looking pretty cool, I’m making friends and they’re pretty stable and/or not super needy. I’ve had friends who need my attention all the time and dude, i barely pay attention to my hair, let alone to make sure that i’m there for you all the time.

i hate songs like that, “I’ll always be there for you no matter what” and all that bullshit. that’s bullshit because there is no way you can be there for a person all the time when they need you, it’s unreasonable. And I used to be a person who used to believe in that but then it got to a point that I wasn’t there for myself all the time and you need to make sure your stable before you allow anybody else’s instability to take over your life. I tell you what, I’ll be there for you when I can but I can’t promise No Matter What because that shit is ridiculous.

I’m trying hard not to get bored of Massachusetts but there are so many places to discover out there and I don’t want to be stuck. yikes. I do have an internal conflict of having a place to call “home”. I think though, home becomes the place where all the people you care about lives and I do have people I care about here, so it’s slowly turning into that.

my friend steve took me out to harvard square and we had a few beers and he gave me a tour and we talked about work stuff [which is what always happens with any coworker i hang out with] and he says “I hope you had a good time, I don’t want you leaving MA.” and I said “Who said I was leaving?” and he said “I’m just saying, since you like to move and stuff.” I think i give that impression that I like to move when the wind changes a la Mary Poppins but I’m going to stick to this place for awhile…

…because honestly, I move to run away and I need to stop doing that.

Fuck you guys, i’m going to California.

I bought my tickets today and I am leaving this upcoming friday. Unfortunately, this means I can no longer spend money on anything and I spent a lot of money last night at some bar that I went with some roommates.

As per usual, I got really trashed. I don’t remember much after the 2nd long island iced tea [that shit be GOOD!]. We were driving home from the bar and there was a white truck next to us and I was yelling at the boys in it because they were looking at me [probably because my breasts were spilling out of my shirt] but did I care? Nope, i was drunk…plus I’m never going to see them again, right?

Turns out, we get to a red light and they stop right next to us:

guy: hey
me: hey baby!
john: oh my god.
guy: you’re pretty smashed aren’t you?
me: yeah, you gotta problem with that?
guy: no, that’s good…
me: yeah, that’s good for me too.
guy: So how’s your body?
[i look at john..what do i say?]
me: I plead the fifth.
guy: you’ve got some nice tits.
me: thanks!
guy: why are you out?
me: what do you think?
guy: we’re out because our boy here [points to kid in the backseat] just broke up with his girlfriend.
me: oh okay
john: man, you are on your own on this one
kevin: i can’t believe this

the light turns green, we speed off as I say ‘BYE SUCKAS! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!’

getting drunk is so much fun. why am i ever sober?

The cool thing about boys is that if you make plans with them, they usually don’t break them because of a girl. But I get dissed so many times because a boyfriend of one of my girlfriend will want to see her last minute and then I’m left doing nothing and it’s too late to make new plans. ALL of my girlfriends do this to me and i’ve gotten so accustomed to it, i don’t fucking care anymore. well, i guess i do because i just wrote about it. it’s even worse when they break up with the boy and then they’re your best friend again.

i just feel so used.

i can’t wait till i get a boyfriend so i can do that shit to all my girlfriends…suckas! oh except for stacy. she hasn’t dissed me yet. YAY STACY! I’m hanging out with her tomorrow. she just moved here from San Diego.

I wish it was cool to be single again. damn significant others.

yo.

when i was younger, i played a good amount of video games. I started with atari, then sega genesis, then nintendo, super nintendo and then nintendo 64 [i really liked the mario guys]

games i was good at:

dr. mario

tetris

marble madness

mario kart [misspelled according to the game]

street fighter 2

yoshi’s cookie

any super mario game where you had to save someone.

and when i say good, i mean GOOD. we’re talking, nobody could beat me and it was sweet being on top all the time.

oh, not anymore.

now, i can’t figure out if its one of the following:

I’m getting old and my eye-hand coordination is rusty

my roommates are geekier than i am with video games hence adapt to the rules and the button pushing a lot faster than I [i think it’s this one]

*the people i played back at home just sucked major ass and my field of comparision is skewed.

well, we got mario kart for game cube. i think i’m ok, but i’m still warming up.

that’s sad that the only thing i’m good at is tetris.

and wearing glasses.

and even sometimes, my glasses fall off.

I am the most boring human on Earth.

I absolutely did nothing this weekend which saddened me because it resorted me to begin thinking about my life and its stagnant nature.

Things I did this weekend:

1. Bought four dvds. Damn you Best Buy. I originally went to get the Old School dvd and check out two Soderbergh dvds I’ve been meaning to check out and to see if the price was sufficient ( Schizopholis and Full Frontal). They had neither of the dvds. However, they had a sale: buy 2 dvds for 20 bucks. Holy shit…I’m in line buying Old School, A Clockwork Orange, Ocean’s 11 and American Psycho. I was sad yet happy. Sad that I shouldn’t have spent that much money and happy I would have something to do when I got home.

2. I bought two cds…each $9.99 at Tower Records. I bought an old MEST cd and an old Joe Jackson cd.

I told Mike (computer guy) that my favorite band/singer…(whatever) was Ben Folds and he said “Oh, he is the Joe Jackson of our time” and I was like..”Who?” so I decided to purchase it and I could see what he meant.

Joe Jackson is seemingly Australian or British. He plays the piano (not as rocking as ben though) and although the song my have happy lyrics, there is a bittersweet melody backing up those lyrics.

Joe Jackson made me sad for two reasons: 1. A song called “Breaking us up in two” which is a song of a couple wherein they need some time apart to discover new and different things that would not normally do together. I think the lyric that made me cry (inside, of course) was “Why are you crying? Why are you hurt by what I said. I am not saying we are through. I am just saying that we should break up in two” Or something to that effect.

This song also made me wish I had a boyfriend so I wouldn’t be such a loser on weekends. This is crappy.

3. I bought two books: The Catcher in the Rye (p.s. I bought all these things on different days during the weekend) and the Matrix and Philosophy.

How I spent my Sunday.

Woke up at 9:30 a.m. and watched Ocean’s 11 about 3 or 4 times. The first time to watch it. The second time to listen to the cast commentary, the third time to watch the director and cast commentary and the fourth time to listen to the cast commentary again.

I decide to take a nap (it is about 3p.m. now) while watching American Psycho.

I then watch Old School twice…once all the way through and a second time to listen to the cast commentary.

I then read the Matrix and Philosophy and got depressed that my life literally has no meaning and according to Descartes, there is no certainty to anything or our life experiences.

I get further depressed reading the Catcher in the Rye…because it is a depressing story.

I then decide to stuff myself with Popeye’s chicken and see how long it takes for me to drive to Mexico (about 20 minutes) and listen to Joe Jackson.

I am now bearing with the residualness of my depression and thought how I really don’t have much to go for nowadays and I am in no way going to make it in the film industry and my failure with men.

Needless to say, I need to stop reading philsophy and get laid.

But who cares anyway?

I hope this depression dissipates soon. I don’t like feeling this way. This puts a damper on any sort of humour I thought I possessed. I will write again when I am in better spirits.

8jkyt6hgvnbyuhgbbg9ouikj,iokuji8ujkhmnythgbv

sorry about that, i dropped something on my keyboard and i was trying to wipe it off.

I have insomnia usually when I am upset about things and too ashamed to tell anyone why I am upset.

Well, on Saturday night, I am home with Lisa and Kevin and we spent some quality bonding time–i.e. impromptu bbq in the backyard. They played some frisbee [i am the only casulty] and then we went to get some stuff from walgreens. We get home, mind you, I’m in my pajamas, and I have 3 or 4 messages on my phone…what the heezy?

Oh, there’s a party.

So I get dressed and go over to said party because a cute guy is going to be there. I am so sad.

But it ended up being mucho fun and I partied pretty hard until about 6 in the morning.

Sunday afternoon…went on like this:

6am to 1130am ..sleep

1130am to 1230am..eat

1230am to 5pm..sleep

5pm to 830pm..eat and watch Gumphood play Starcraft and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm.

830pm to 900pm..talk to Samantha about the party.

9pm to 8am…sleep.

obviously, i caught up with my insomniac tendencies. I should party super hard every weekend so i’m completely useless on sunday.

i wish i had something more interesting to say…HERE.

end with witty comment or sarcastic comment…HERE.

oh, and you know what sucks? Gas prices are killing me–i will not be able to go to my jiu jitsu class tonight because i have no gas and this time, i really wanted to go. BLAH.