ugh.

so, i am stuck in this stupid apartment right now. i wish i didn’t quit smoking because I would so smoke a pack right now or something. ugh.

ugh.

the boys are all playing video games. i got the inclination that it was an ‘all-boys’ club so i’m in the common room wishing i was back in san diego hanging out with MY boys. Lisa is gone too. she and josh went to a romantic getaway together out in NH which rock the house.

but now i’m stuck with these boys. these boys who don’t give two shits about me. and maybe that is what putting me in a bad mood. I don’t mean to compare [and i really shouldn’t because the boys in california are pretty different than the boys i know in MA] but i mean, wilbur would’ve been ‘get off of your ass and play video games with us’ or tyler would’ve been like ‘you are so dramatic. we are going out’. whatever. but with me, i just get a blank stare or two from them.

I would drive away but my car is blocked in and i don’t want to go through the “kevin, move your car so I can nowhere”. because I have nowhere to go.

and i have no friends.

i wish i was at work.

i am so sad.