I suppose ther are several things for me to report since it is the end of the day and all, but i guess I’ll go with the most embarrassing story.
Long story short, my trainer [steve] and I were browsing the internet since we weren’t getting any calls.
and then i made a fatal mistake.
I asked if steve would like to see my diary. Oh, god. before i knew it, i regretted showing it to him.
Was it the sex entry? yeah, maybe. Was it the battle royale entry confirming my undying dorkiness to the world? Or how about that a big red-headed kid had a picture of a “sun-kissed” couple accentuated by the girly colors? Yeah.
but most of all because of a previous entry wherein i state the four hot guys at work.
he started reading previous entries and then…he saw it. The entry titled “the ugliest badge in history”. I promptly [and embarrassingly] covered the screen with my hands. we kept fighting over it and then, luckily, another co-worker called for steve’s assistance.
I hastily deleted the offending entry and sat satisfied. I then went on my 15 minute break with Mike and Brian [you’ll learn, people, you’ll learn]. I came back and Steve had a grin on his face.
“I read the entry”
“you lie”
“Nope. There are four guys and…here comes one of them.” and I turn my head and there is the number one guy on my list. Sigh…with his dark hair and green eyes. His green shirt and cargo pants. what a hottie..oh god. maybe i should stop typing right now.
but, alas, i will continue and see what happens.
anyway, so number one goes to tech a computer and I peek outside steve’s cube and then sit and face steve.
“you asshole. i hate you, i hate you so much”
steve begins to laugh.
THEN, number one comes into the cube.
“Hey, you got some scissors?”
and I [stupidly because of his dark haired green eyed soul] say “what do you want scissors for?”
“uh..to cut stuff”
[oh god, he thinks i’m the biggest idiot ever]
“oh, you never know..” [this is me trying to think of something clever] “..some people shave with scissors”
“SHAVE…with scissors?”
“yeah.. it’s a cool thing to do in California…”
DOH!!
“Uh…okay” gives me a weird look.
and no scissors were to be found.
i am a loser.
i mean, that is because i was so paranoid. the first day i met him, we had great laughs. i gave him trident, he told me a story of why it was ‘ass gum’ [he said “ooh! ass gum!”]. I played an Avid customer, he played the tech guy.
He is sharp sharp kid. And i was being sharp right back at him, which i think he liked. He showed me his cube and I said “uh, wow.” in a tone that said ‘you swear’. he picked up on that tone and said “Hey, don’t think too highly of yourself” and I said “Too late.” and he said “It already feels you’ve been here for months. you fit right in.” and he smiled.
dude, i got way off track. the fact of the matter is, now, there is vital blackmail information that can circle the workplace.
i am so fucked.
p.s. the work people are going to the brewery this thursday [or next thursday?]. i really want to go. however..
a. i do not want to drink
b. i will get to flirt with number one
c. however, if i get drunk and flirt with number one, i might pull a move.
oh god, i am so fucked.
Minimal Effort 