disneyline

Instead of being a practical woman, i.e. do my laundry, clean my car, pack my bags, idolize my LOTR shrine… I did the most impractical thing on Earth–

I went to Disneyland.

Hells yeah.

Hells no?

Cast of characters:

Jen– Girl I’ve known since the fifth grade. Because of this history, I can make fun of her bad taste in clothes back then and she can make fun of my inability to talk to guy for years upon years. She was always the popular chick (she says the contrary is true). Jen is notorious for being late and procrastinating . She has perfected procrastinating to an artform.

Jaymee– Jen’s primarily partner in crime. Actually, that would be John, but Jaymee is right up there. A bit insecure sometimes, but once you get her in her comfort zone (i.e. Tom Sawyer’s island), her inner child takes off. I love Jaymee, she thinks I’m funny and will laugh any sort of non sequiter I’ll spit out.

Ben — Mr. Straight-Edge himself. Ben is good times. However, he and his brother (listed next) did not have much sleep the night before, so his energy level was not as high as usual. But Ben is unbeleivably laid back, that you just want sink into the cement whenever he talks to you and listen. He has the most interesting “I was with this band and we…” stories, great glasses and awesome tattoos.

Danny — Ben’s younger brother (versus little, since I believe is taller). Danny and Ben are just laid back brothers to begin with. Danny and Ben just went to a show the night before and Danny got punched in the nose. Hence, throughout the trip, he could only breathe through one nostril, but was just as excited as I was about being in Disneyland. Great conversationlist while waiting for people who are in the bathroom (and who leave you to go to another park!! bwahahahahaha)

John– Jen’s boyfriend. John has this cutting sense of humor that kills me. He was primarily with Jen and Anagabriel (yeah, we separated majority of the day) but when we went to California Adventures with him and it was great to hear his dialogue on vomit chunks in people’s hair.

Anagabriel– the youngest one in the group (hitting the old age of…5?) Never been to Disneyland. Traumatized by the Star Tours. Never again says Ana.

Ruel– Military guy (whom I incessantly make fun of…but has gotten sensitive about it as of late, so I’ve stopped) who was pretty fiesty in the beginning and somehow went through some sort of mexican soap opera (unbeknownst to me) and began to mope majority of the day. what happened? He wouldn’t say (believe me, I asked)

I was counting the cast and I was thinking, someone is missing

Duh, it’s fucking me.

Anyway, they should change the name of Disneyland to Disneyline (says Ben). Disneyline has the most successful hurry up and wait motif.

And people, you need to stop having babies!! You’re overpopulating the earth and Disneyline is a very good depiction of the overpopulated microcosm we call Earth.

There was the 3’1 woman, wearing red, and she kept pushing me, like she was trying to cut THROUGH me to go on the fucking Peter Pan ride.

Woman, you’re 3’1 (and like 40), don’t mess with the 25 year old. you’ll get clobbered.

Disneyline also reminds me, thank god I don’t have kids.

And what the fuck is it with people who bring fucking NEWBORNS to Disneyline? They don’t know where they are. You could take them to the supermarket to look at bananas, and they’d drool the same amount.Other than that, Esmeralda, the wannabe BIG fortuneteller said I will lead a life of fame and fortune.

So of course I’m saving the faux pas fortune for laughs.

I will get much in depth about Disneyline when I get pictures developed. However, you can read another person’s depiction (the star of the show…the jaymee show, the jaymee show…okay, this makes more sense if you could hear the tune)I once told Jaymee that she had a sitcom and I was a frequent guest star. At this trip, Danny and I were the gueststars (since we appear intermittently), sort of like Tori Spelling on Saved by the Bell.

Anyway, I won’t go further with Disneyline because you have to see me eating the big ass turkey leg and cyber print doesn’t do it justice.

In OTHER NEWS:

Tomorrow is my last day. I had to move the road trip UP a day. So instead of leaving on Thursday, I’m leaving Wednesday morning. This is why:

Kerbang calls me on Friday or Saturday (or something) amusingly drunk. Says we can party with the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy …”if we can make it to New York City by Friday. C’mon we can do it!”

So, say goodbye to friends or meet Ted, pseudo future boyfriend?

Sorry friends, we have email. I have the Fab Five to hang with.

Okay, I’m going to pack now. I’m going to pack until my ears are full of those curly white styrofoam things.

Can you believe, I used to eat that? I thought there were ricecake peanuts.