Month: September 2003

I am actually going to put up a double post today because I got this email this morning.

Now I am SUPER confused. The problem with me (and probably majority of the voting public) is that we are severly uninformed and probably misguided through the news/media.

Admittedly, the media has everything to do with influence on the usual person who has no party affiliation (if you are passionately a liberal or a conservative, you won’t believe what the media says anyway).

I try to look at things OBJECTIVELY and I try to do the research but I find it very difficult with everyone with their agenda in mind.

I recently sent out an email in support of Howard Dean. Kerbang sent me this email, a snippet of his speech in Idaho (I believe Idaho) and his link. I went to his link and read up on him and he seemed pretty legit and a viable candidate.

Then my friend Steve (also well-versed in poltical events and knowledge) sent me THIS email and now I don’t know WHAT to think because this sounds pretty good to me to.

You’re probably thinking I’m some sort of empty vessel who will believe everything a person says but no. The case is that these are TWO very well-informed individuals who make TWO very good points.

Anyway, here’s what Steve said:

Sharon, I’m dissappointed. I don’t understand why you describe our current President as a “dumbass”. Howard Dean would be a dangerously foolish choice for President. With the economy just beginning to turn around, the repeal of the tax cut would destroy even more jobs than have already been lost and cause the recently upturned job market to crash out again. This would in turn result in a loss of tax revenue for the federal and state governments, causing widespread financial crisis and budget deficits again. Coupled with Dean’s insistence on a grossly overpriced healthcare system, price estimates for prescription drug benefits alone dwarf the $87 billion cost of Bush’s recent request of Congress. Low estimates run around $400 billion/year while some go as high as $1 trillion / year.

Fiscal matters aside, we come to the more important issue. Howard Dean is not committed to the eradication of global terrorism. This unwillingness to lead the country to do good for the entire world, and fulfill the President’s first duty to protect the United States and Constitution, completely negates any value he could have as President. Fueled by a liberal media unwilling to show successful scenes in Iraq, Dean has attacked the war repeatedly calling the effort a misguided failure. The disbelief that terrorism is a genuine threat to the U.S. and the willingness to sacrifice millions of innocent people to “avoid war” is either dangerously misguided or outright treasonous. Howard Dean is either grossly incompetent and unaware of the United States’ role in history, or he is a power-mad politician willing to endanger the entire world for personal gain.

The truth is, for whatever reason, no Democratic candidate for president would have acted as President Bush did after 9/11. They would have acted as Clinton did in ’93, and ’98. They would have ignored the problem, and allowed more people to die and strengthen the terrorists’ belief that America is a weak country that backs away from danger.

Know what and who you are voting for Sharon. Look into Dean’s background. He’s not a small town guy from Vermont. Don’t believe the hype.

AHHHH!!!!!! I sent it out to people who I thought would help me out on this topic (Kerbang and Datchery) I’ll post up their response shortly and I’ll try to compare and contrast who is bullshitting and who is not (although they both are non-bullshitters to begin with so this is going to be a difficult topic)

over and out. roger that.

Okay, I thought so.

Kerbang responded and respond he did:

well, Steve’s argument is based on basically 2 premises:

1) That the Bush tax cuts are good for the economy.

2) That the war in Iraq is making us safer from terrorism.

Basically I disagree with both. The U.S. is already running budget
deficits, because Bush hasn’t balanced his budget. On top of that he’s
running up more deficits with the tax cuts. Tax cuts decrease government
revenue (since the government gets all its money from taxes) and so
unless spending is decreased as well, you end up running a deficit, like we
are now. Recent Republican Presidents have never had a balanced budget.
They always run a deficit, which bascially passes the cost of the
present on to the future. It’s a very shortsighted way to run a Government.

I personally believe (as do most Democrats) that having fully-funded
social programs (like Health Care, Education, Roads, Police, Fire
Departments, etc) create a much better environment for business than whatever
tax money would be saved by half-assing them (like Bush’s Leave No
Child Behind program, or his Homeland Defense initiatives do). I mean,
would we gain anything by shutting down the United States Postal Service
and giving the money we would have spent on that out as a tax cut? That’d
cause a lot more problems that it would solve. I think the same goes
for Public Education, Public Roads, and yes, even a Public Health
Insurance System. For the record, Dean’s Health Insurance plan is fairly
conservative. It’s just designed to make sure that everyone can get health
insurance, not to pay for every person’s insurance.


As for the war in Iraq, there wasn’t any link between Iraq and global
terrorism until we invaded it and made it a lovely place for terrorists
from all over to come and kill Americans. What we should have done is
finish the job in Afghanistan, where there actually were terrorists, who
actually did attack Americans, and who the Bush administration has let
slip away because they wanted to fight an easy, politically expedient
war in Iraq, a country with far more natural resources than Afghanistan.

Howard Dean supported the invasion of Afghanistan because there was a
reason for it. That’s where Al Qaeda was, it was Al Qaeda that attacked
the United States. There’s no reason for Iraq.

It’s a bit absurd to claim that Dean “is not committed to the
eradication of global terrorism”. Is that to say he’s in favor of global
terrorism? I mean, come on now. Thinking it was a bad idea to invade a country
that had nothing to do with terrorism (and instead focusing on the
country where all the terrorists were hiding) is not really what I’d call
“ignoring the problem”. I think the message we are sending to terrorists
by invading Iraq is: “We’re confused and we don’t know who to attack.”

Anyway, as for the rest of it, I think you can judge for yourself if
Howard Dean is treasonous, power-mad, incompetent or misguided. Or if
maybe he actually knows what he’s talking about and has intelligent,
well-thought out positions on issues that he thinks are important to the
well-being, safety, and prosperity of America.

so anyway, if you think the Bush Tax cuts somehow saved us from a
(more) terrible recession, and that ousting Saddam Hussein is going to stop
Osama Bin Laden from organizing more attacks on the United States and
its allies, well, then yeah don’t vote for Dean. In fact, don’t vote in
the democratic primary at all, just vote for Bush in 2004. I won’t
though.


I feel sort of like a diaryland cheater since the bulk of the past two entries were made by people who are not me.

I will admit something. I am not intelligent as these people. But here is what I will do for the people who are affiliated with either party:

I am going to…yes…do my research and do it extensively.

I will outline my findings.

I will point out either fallacy or fact of both parties

I will point out, with past experiences with Steve and Kerbang, why I think their argument are convincing or otherwise.

It’s like I’m doing homework. But it is sort of exciting. I’m at work. I can’t believe I posted so much today.

So for one more later on this evening.

As much as I would like to avoid the pettiness of life, there is something that you, dear reader, have to remember.

I AM a girl.

And one of the characteristics of a girl is to have useless crushes and stalker tendencies.

However, to deviate from the norm, I am, what you would call the anti-stalker stalker.

To elaborate:

1. When the guy-I-like (hereinafter to be referred as “guy”) calls me, I tend to not pick up until AFTER 3 rings. Sometimes, I’ll will ignore the call and move them to my voicemail. Usually because I don’t want to seem desperate and to have this boy’s voice recorded for future reference (for those lonely nights. ha ha ha ha)

2. When the guy has a messenger service of some sort I usually put up an Away message and/or “look” offline. Every now and then I will take off the offline or the Away message but under no circumstances do I message them.

3. In conversation, I usually tell the guy that they are “not my type” or have no way in hell of a chance in dating me. Or, I might mention some guy I like who is so much hotter than them

I don’t know why I do this. Games?

Probably.

I loathe myself.

Anyway, I bring this up as an entry because my friend Mike came down from Berkely a couple of days ago. Mike, Jenn and I are a triumverate (yee-ha! vocabulary word utilized) and have a tradition of talking from 9 or 10pm till sunrise.

I am always the one who wants to go home but they say “No, we have to uphold the tradition”. It is rare when we are all in the same city and every year, we come together and have our marathon fest.

Anyway, the subject of my love life (or lack thereof) came up. For not being in my life consistently, I have to say Jenn and Mike are pretty observant and know me quite well (Jenn I’ve known since 5th grade and Mike I’ve known since junior year in high school)

Observations they made:

1. All the relationships I have been in, it seems that I settle for these relationships.

This is true. Most of the time, I start an intimate relationship because the guy has a crush on me and my mentality is “Why the hell not?” of course, these relationships are always short-lived but at least I have SOME sort of experience under the belt.

2. I have crushes on the unattainable.

Or actually:

Jenn: No, I think they are attainable

Mike: She seems (they are talking about me in third person even though I am in the room) to have crushes on guys who SEEM unattainable to her, wherein they are NOT unattainable but since they are unattainable in her head, they are unattainable in reality.

Jenn: Well, look what she does when she has a crush, she avoids them at all costs or does the buddy-buddy thing.

Me: I can’t help it!

Mike: Do you think you do this because of some sort of compensation?

Jenn: I think she does it because if she actually pursued a crush that she really liked and got in a relationship, she would be afraid of the “giving up a part of herself” aspect or the lack of independence.

Me: I actually pursued crushes!

Mike: You pursue crushes you really don’t give a shit about.

Jenn: You pursue crushes where there’s no risk involved.

Me: I pursue the non-riskables because there is nobody worth risking.

Jenn: There are guys worth risking but you’ve already set it in your head that they are unattainable.

EGAD. What a roundabout conversation.

I have to say though, after hearing it out loud, I guess it is true.

On another note, I was buying my lunch today and I tried to flip this guy off

And my newly lit cigarette fell on the street.

What a waste of a good cigarette.

I am terrified.

As the move date to the East Coast rapidly approaches, I am starting to get cold feet and a bit of self-doubt.

How far will you go to pursue a dream?

On a different topic, GOD I LOVE QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY

I’m watching a rerun right now…but all you boys, especially Kerbang (not that I think you would need Queer Eye but, rather, I think you would appreciate the television production value) HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHOW.

When I first watched it, about a month ago, the theme song, the introduction of the experts (and yes, they ARE experts) and the part where they walk to the camera in a horizontal straight line–especially watching Carson (the fashion expert in the middle with the rightly deemed badass attitude) I fell off my bed. I could not stop laughing.

This is a show I would DREAM of being a director/producer/creator of.

Anyway, it’s the tiniest things about this show that just KILL me. Like when they show the transformation of the home and the techno music comes on…it just KILLS me. I get all excited and I start grinning like a Chesire cat.

I also love it when guys getting their makeover get their eyebrows waxed (or in one episode when they guy got his ear hair waxed and in another, a crew member got his back hair waxed) GAWD, it’s great to see guys beautifying themselves.

I also love it when (this is a I-pretty-much-love everything) at the end of the show, they give these cheesy yet fantastic tips. It’s like an after school program–but a really classy after school programme. It kills me (I’m turning into Holden Caufield here)

Anyway, the best part of the show is Ted.

Ted is my soulmate.

Ted has written four books, has two Masters and is an editor for Esquire. He is also a fantastic cook and wears these intelligent glasses. And unlike Carson who has this biting sarcastic (granted, fucking hilarious) personality, Ted has a more subdued, more witty approach to humour. He has dark hair and this look that turns me into mush.

He kills me.

And he’s gay. (sigh)

The background on all of the other guys is super interesting as well–the fashion guy is an equestrian (equistrian sp?); the grooming guy was the top guy in a Salon in, I believe, New York; the culture guy (I still haven’t figured out what EXACTLY that guy does) was Angel in RENT; and the housing guy (who, I think, always does the most awesome job in the group) has this huge interior design firm.

And if money was no object I would work for this show for free. Just to have my name to even be slightly connected to this show vis a vis Kevin Bacon, would be deemed a great honour.

The show is on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 10 p.m.

Boys, you HAVE to watch it.

Because it just KILLS me.

So we wake up in Atlanta, Georgia…our next stop… NEW YORK CITY…or so we hope.

So, let me just tell you, we have seen this restaurant EVERYWHERE. It’s called Cracker Barrel and it’s a breakfast restaurant dude. So we decided to splurge this one time and go to Cracker Barrel.

I had something called Chicken Fried Chicken (although, I look back now, and I SHOULD’VE gotten the Country Fried Steak)and so did Kay. Mmmm…when I look back, GOD, I wish we had Cracker Barrel in California. I guess we will just have to settle for Denny’s (DAMN!)

Let me see. Today was an uneventful day…or was it? We went through South Carolina (btw, dear reader, we were trying to get pictures in front of state signs that said “Welcome to ….blah blah blah” but we would be driving so fast that by the time saw the sign, we were already 80 miles down the road. NOT THE CASE with South Carolina, we saw the FIRST sign and then I yelled “Look there’s another one!”…so through the trip we have ONE picture in front of ONE state…South Carolina.

Then we went through North Carolina (I mostly slept through that state) At one point I woke up Kay and said “LOOK A GIANT PEACH!” and lo and behold….a giant peach. She wearily took the picture and went back to sleep.

So the sunset is down and we are in Virgina.

I HATE VIRGINIA

First of all, the traffic signs are whack. You know when you are about to go north or south? Well, the sign would look like this NORTH SOUTH
so..you automatically assume that the South exit would be on the right side and the North sign either ahead of you or the AFTER the south sign. We drive and the NEXT exit was NORTH. and Iwas like …HELLO why put the North sign in the middle of the road. And the exits weren’t even exits…they just led you to some residential place. WTF? Anyway, for the first time on this trip, we were lost. When we finally got onto the 495, we were in traffic for THREE HOURS. It got so bad, when we exited, Kay went to a gas station to take a pee and the line was wrapped around the aisle..so she peed in a out of the way parking lot (YAY KAY!)

FINALLY, out of Virginia…we see, Washington D.C. and more importantly… we see the Pentagon. At this time we are way excited and decide to tour DC for awhile (Which we haven’t done)… DC was an adventure by itself..so I will continue with DC on the next entry.

I’m listening to the cd that my friend Thomas made for me. It’s the soundtrack for Requiem for a Dream.

Speaking of Thomas, I met him through my friend Ryan (they are roommates). Ryan and I spent the day together yesterday and I tried to convince him to go to a party with me last night. No luck. But Thomas said he would go with me. Basically we would make an appearance and then go watch the new Sophia Coppola film “Lost in Translation”–

SIDENOTE: Have I mentioned how much I love Bill Murray?

— Anyway we show up, blah blah blah (I told him to play boyfriend so nobody would hit on me) then we secretly leave to check out the movie.

The movie is sold out. I cannot believe it.

So we sneak back into the party. Nathan hits on me regardless (or whatever). Too bad I don’t care to date anyone.

Anyway, Thomas was telling me how he had never felt so white before in his life…or actually aware of his race. Not that anyone was pointing it out or anything but rather, he was just the tallest, whitest guy there (and to mention, he is from France, so he also had an accent) but he got along with everyone and I didn’t have to babysit him.

Good deal.

To make him feel better, I told him how in film school, when I went to my orientation, there were barely any girls and barely any Asians at that. It was sort of scary to say the least, to be in a major with a bunch of tall white guys from seemingly rich families.

I think it took me a semester to get over it, but it’s something you just don’t become aware about anymore.

Well except when you’re called the “best girl director in class”–well, what about the BEST director in class? Further, there are only 4 other girls in CLASS! So I beat out 4 other girls? And I think the only reason I did is because I did comedies and the other girls did dramas.

Usually comedies short films are much more appeasing to an audience.

And I like reaction. (i.e. laughter) Dramas don’t evoke reaction in 5 minutes usually.

Dude.

I need to make a film soon. I am going batty up the wall not doing anything in production.

I will start eating my dvds for lunch

Things that happened today

* earthquake (3.9 on the Richter scale)
* got another job
* I voted
* Arnold Swartzenegger was voted governor of California
* talked to Datchery online

My world has just gotten so weird.

My boss’s dog died a couple of days ago. He screamed at the veterinarian and came out of his office, tears streaming down his face. He yelled “FUCK!!!” and ran out of the office and yelled Fuck some more.

My co-worker’s daughter is a heroin addict. She has been trying to get her to get into CRASH which is a detox/rehab place. She lied and said there was no more space (they called and said that SHE said she needed more time). So, my co-worker, in an attempt of tough love, refused to give her any help unless she came back and asked for it..(her daughter has no job and no food and no place to live)…so that she could convince her to get help. She also asked other family members not to interfere.

no dice.

my co-worker’s sister (the daugher’s aunt of course) gave the daughter money. For more heroin? Maybe. Anyway, my co-worker called her sister and YELLED at her on the phone. I dropped my file because I was so taken aback

Today, we had a huge political debate about what the hell is going on with California and the country. I pretty much convinced my co-workers (lawyers and secretaries alike) that I would be the best candidate for governor. heh heh. I have to give it to Datchery, Kerbang and Gumphood for piquing my interest in politics and actually caring about what the hell is going on.

thanks guys.

Tyler won the semi-finals and is now going to the finals in the wade robson project. I feel so evil. I sent out a mass email for people to vote for him.

But I don’t actually know him. I just made it SEEM like I know him (one of my best friend is named tyler as well, and utilized that connection to my advantage) so I feel very manipulative and evil.

but tyler won.

I just think he’s supertalented and super hot and want him to be my love slave…because have you SEEN him dance? imagine him in bed!

Unfortuantely, Ryan thought I really knew the dancing prodigy and told all his friends and now they think I am the coolest girl ever with the coolest friends.

aw man, I am in trouble…. but he won, so my tactics have worked again. (I’m telling you, I would be a kickass film director)

Anyway, I was talking to Datchery today and I told him if I were to be in his town, that he would have to hang out with me out of obligation. I said (sort of) that the dealbreaker would be if he had bad taste in film.

and he didn’t know if he had any taste.

so I tried to give a quick quiz and he logged off! the bastard.

Anyway, so I start my new-old job tomorrow. Yes, I am now working nights and weekends at Starbucks again. I want money. lots of it. and i want a widescreen television.

oh, and Gray Davis’ wife name is Sharon.

just like me.

gah. maybe I’ll stick around in California to see what happens.

maybe not.

Formula for an action movie:

1. Have a hot leading guy (i.e. Paul Walker, Colin Farrell etc)
2. Have destruction of a car, plane or train
3. Have an “ex” law enforcement type who wants lots of money
4. Have this “ex” law enforcement type be as smart as the hot leading guy (because smart guys are scarier)
5. Have the last scene ending with ex guy and hot guy doing a fist fight sans all weaponry
6. Have lots of guns
7. Have a car chase scene
8. Have a hot girl in the flick
9. Smart alecky character for humour
10. An overhead shot of the city ( I don’t know why they always have this, they just do)

Inspired by my recent viewing of “SWAT” Starring the delicious Colin Firth and L.L. Cool J as the plucky SWAT team member with the Arnold Terminator Swartzenegger lines.

I should do an action movie and reverse all the formula

I am annoyed.

So, today, I am supposed to (there’s a chance I might still be going) go to Street Scene with some friends. My friend Ryan was going to accompany me with the driving and directions and so on and so forth. Further, the people I am going with I partially like (I don’t DISLIKE them but I don’t like them a whole lot either) and two people I do like, but they are a couple and who wants to be the fifth wheel?

Well, Ryan was going to rectify the fifth wheel segment and go with me so I wouldn’t be forced to have some small talk with the others.

Anyway, so he says he will call me. Didn’t call. So I call him to see what the hell is taking so long.

Says “oh, I don’t know if I’m going anymore” (he bought his tickets already) and I say “Why?” and he says he spent so much money yesterday (it’s a friday, saturday, sunday affair) so I said (since I just got paid ) “I’ll be your bitch and pay for everything” (I don’t mind because Ryan has spotted me on several occassions–probably because he has a “real” job and I have a fake one)

Anyway, he says “Oh, I don’t know” and then I hear a female in the background and I say “Is this because you have a woman over?” and he says “Yes. I have to go now”

That is soooooo annoying. First, don’t be saying that you are definitely going and you aren’t on the day of (He said he was going yesterday and was excited about it) Next, if you are going to bail on me…Jesus Christ for a girl?

That’s just as bad as a girlfriend bailing out on you when you had prior plans but can’t because “My boyfriend wants to hang out”

God, I hate being dissed for a stupid significant other (or a reasonable facsimile thereof)

Anyway, I”m here waiting for his stupid ass for his stupid ass phone call. It is looking like, by the time I get his phone call, it will be too late. Too late as in, I don’t want to spend $45.00 to have 3 hours of Street Scene when I could’ve had 6 hours of Street Scene.

ARGH.

I should probably just go (YEAH!) but I wasted so much time waiting for his dumbass that it’s a moot point. dear lord.

Okay, I’m going to stop complaining and have a cigarette.

Bastard.

I was going to write about something my friends Mike, Jender and I were talking about but something came up.

My friend’s mother is in the hospital today. She was run over this morning by a car while walking to work.

So my friend Ryan and I are going to go to the UCSD medical center to make sure that Gina (and her mother of course) are okay and possibly get her flowers. I think it is too late right now, but I want to be there for support.

So in light of the “re-run” episodes, here is a cop out entry: a letter from my friend Cooper. This will pretty much update you folks about what’s going on in my life:

Hey Sharon,

I’m finding that it’s very difficult to answer phone calls at night,
being that I’m usually drunk and/or high.

I’m at my temp job right now, between film gigs. Early this month though, I start work on some thing for Wheel of Fortune. Vanna is going to pass that arm of hers over nine new cars in nine choice SF spots. It’s three weeks of work, hopefully at my new union rate! That should be… fun?

Working on draft two to Twilight. I read that you’ve got some scripts
brewing as well. You wanted some feedback right. Well… I don’t want
to give it because I don’t think you need it. You know what’s funny. You
know what works. The hardest thing in life is simply trusting that. And
I’ve got this feeling that if one can do that – can truly trust in their own
abilities – then everything else is gravy.

A suggestion that you take
from someone else is a dilution (a real word?) of your own talent and
instinct.

This is all tied into a book I’ve dicovered. Yes, I found a book – the
only book ever – that I fucking love. It’s all about talent and self-confidence, and how the world hates anyone with the balls to dream, because then maybe they could have dreamed too. It’s genius. It’s called “The Fountain Head”
by Ayn Rand. You might have heard of it. Anyone who regards living as
more importnat than simply staying alive should read it. It’s our paperback mascot Sharon, I shit you not.

Friendster, I know of it. Everyone I know is doing it. It’s a huge Asian
thing out here. I haven’t put myself up their yet. I’m sure I will
someday. We’ll see. My love life’s a mess as well. I’ve just started
to dive back into the dating scene. And sure enough, “Theresa” calls me up. We had it out last night. She and I are stuck in this cycle. Niether of us can move on, because no one else is more right (which we’re in
agreeance on), but there’s this barrior that can’t be crossed for some fucked up reason. Neither of us will bury it. But neither of us will take it where it’s supposed to be, because I fear rejection by her, and she’s
protecting her pride from the guy who strayed. Stalemate. We’re going to the movies tonight :o) It’s like a drug.

That’s my life in a nut shell. Good luck with editing. I hope it
turns out well. Keep me posted.

Coop


****

I’m on the best diet of my life: The man diet.