I revisted an old journal today (er..tonight)..at the times were all my journal entries were unedited and handwritten.
so in celebration of the folly of youth, revisit a time when I was a mere 22 years old:
6/29/01
I have a headache. It’s not too bad or anything. Just “talked” to Ken on instant messenger. I’m very worried about him…he just broke up with his girlfriend or as he says “She left me Sharon” YIKES. I don’t know what to do or how to do it..I really hopes he knows I’m here for him.
Anyway, other than that I am very concerned about the status of my life. What should I do?
Okay, ideal plan of action:
1. Write a kick ass script
2. Develop, direct and produce shit within the next two years. (author note: SHIT! That’s THIS YEAR! continue)
3. Try to get a writing job?
4. Stay with flexible jobs?
Writing a kick ass script steps:
1. Finish “Alternative Scriptwriting”
2. Make cast bios. very thorough
3. Make a thorough outline
4. Write a coverage
5. Write script
(author note again: damn I make sound so easy.)
Sheesh…I’m so confused right now. I don’t know what to do.
Not getting a full time job:
Pros:
flexible schedule
I like the peeps
financial instablity
Cons:
not enough cash
have to work long hours
Full time job:
Pros:
financial stability
Cons:
might lose sight of goal
not flexible
can’t go to Cali anytime I want
So writing all this shit down has showed me waht is really bothering me:
MONEY
Money, the root of all evil is causing me great distress. Hmm…so I guess what I can do is get a higher position? Get another job? Starbucks is so fucking monotonous though..so…AHHH!!! I guess I beter start cracking on my feature length script.
all right
all right…
time to make a list of FUCKING GOALS GODDAMNIT!!!!!!!
Sharon, you need fucking direction. Get your fucking head in fucking gear motherfucker! FUCK!!
List 1:
Sharon’s list of things to do become a rich, famous, critically acclaimed and talented filmmaker
1. research, research, research
2. Write script
3. Start an awesome preproduction crew
4. Shoot film. Edit.
5. Shop to film festivals
a) Berlin
b) Canne
c) Sundance
6. Get job
OR
1. Write 5 GREAT scripts
2 sitcoms
3 features
6 sketches
2. Ask Molie or some other NYU alumni on how to get agent
3. Get agent
4. Get offers. If one script is outstanding, refuse sale unless agreed to direct it yourself and have your own production team.
Sharon’s list (2nd edition) of 50 things to do before 50:
1. Get to goal weight of 100 pounds and keep it there (author note: yeah right)
2. Get 4 piercings and 4 tattoos **(Yeah, I’m going to have to change that one too)
3. Get directing job
4. Fall in love without any fear
5. Get something platinum
6. Ge to meet the writers of South Park, the Simpsons or some other comedic show I respect.
7. Get an awesome dvd collection **
8. Be ale to have my director commentary on my own special edition dvd.
9. Get a fishtank
10. Get a kickass bike
11. Learn sign language fluently (I took a year but I’ve forgotten a lot of it)
12. Take singing lessons
13. Be able to play “Linus and Lucy” on the piano.
14. Learn to play the drums
15. Direct a music video that will get plenty of airtime on MTV
16. Learn some sort of judo or martial art **
17. Learn yoga
18. Write one novel
19. Be able to do a backflip (yeah right!)
20. Be REALLY good at one sport
21. Go to a football game
22. Go to a soccer game (were talking pro here)
23. Go to the Olympics (as a spectator)
24. Have sex in Italy
25. Ask for the bathroom in French in Franch.
26. Go backpacking in Australia
27. For one month, go to a foreign country with just ONE backapack and SURVIVE
28. Go to a World Series game
29. Go to a Superbowl (so close this year, since is was in San Diego)
30. Get drunk and kiss somebody with no regret **
31. Have sex in an airplane.
32. Have sex at a party (hee hee hee)
33. Go to a naked beach, naked of course
34. Go hot air ballooning (preferably with a loved one)
35. Go water skiing
36. Go sky diving
37. Go bungee jumping (what was I thinking??)
38. Learn how to do ice skating tricks
39. Cook every recipe in my cookbook from Jirrah (yeah right)
40. Go rockclimbing
41. Join the Peace Corps at one time in my life
42. Get my own computer **
43. Put up my own website ** (does diaryland count? Hmmm…)
44. Play roulette at least once **
45. Shave my head once and live with a wig for awhile (Hmmm…why did I write this?)
46. Go scuba diving
47. Make a film ** (well, I sorta did it)
48. Make a scene from Origami (I’m actually getting really good at Origami)
49. Take a stunt driving class (yeah, I think I had a death wish)
50. Own every single X-files episode ever made.
End of entry*
Comments;
So much energy, so much risque.
I feel boring and very undetermined and unmotivated now. I wonder what happened (I got old)
I wonder if I will actually finish this list. I only have 25 years more to go. However, I think I need to edit some of this out (like, 4 tattoos? I don’t need that much decoration. One is enough)
I want to eat chicken now
mere flashback and present old realization
Minimal Effort 