Do you have an on-again, off-again girlfriend?
(If so, please discard form)
Name:
Age:
Height:
Phone(s):
Eye Colour:
1. What does the word “vernacular” mean?
2. In the equation PV=nRT, please name each of the variables.
3. Blowjob: impeachable offense? yes or no?
4. What are your ten FAVORITE movies RIGHT NOW?
(If Drop Dead Fred is on list, please discard form)
5. Which would you prefer? A girlfriend who is:
sexy or cool?
funny or sophisticated?
passive or aggressive?
intelligent or social butterfly?
on top or doggie style?
6. Have you been in therapy? (If yes, please explain. If no, please explain)
7. How much do you earn (approximately) in a year? [This answer does not mean you may be disqualified, rather, an indication of how much will be needed on the employer’s part]
8. What is the most creative (not necessarily romantic) thing you have done for another girl? [If answer is involves roses, chocolate or dinner, please discard this form)
9. Are you religious? [If Mormon, please discard this form]
10. How many times a week is an adequate amount? (If less than 3, please discard this form)
11. Who is your favorite comic?
12. Please list these shows in order of brilliance:
Jackass
South Park
Futurama
Friends
X-Files
13. George Carlin is:
a.) The 31st president
b.) A diplomat from France circa 1932
c.) One of the founding fathers of profanity/profane controversy
d.) The inventor of the Pet Rock
14. Please list this in order of importance:
acne
warts
cellulite
haliotosis
excess hair
15. sex before relationship or relationship before sex?
16. Astrological sign and what it means to you.
17. a.)Can you read? (If not, please discard this form)
b.)If so, what do you usually read?
18. It is 8:15 p.m. and you are due to meet me at 8:30 p.m. The place we are meeting is more than 30 miles away. What do you do?
a) Go home. It will take too long. Call back tomorrow and treat me to a nice breakfast to make up for the missed appointment.
b) Call and say you are running late…about an hour late due to traffic
c) Suggest to meet somewhere else at 8:30 p.m.
d) Masturbate. What the hell are you supposed to do? It’s hopeless.
19. The film American Psycho: What do you think it is REALLY about?
20. Please write a short essay:
21. How often do you smoke marijuana/do drugs (if answer is daily, please discard form)
* Please draw a picture of yourself.
***********************************************************
Official Boyfriend Disclaimer/Release Form:
COMES NOW, Applicant _______ (initial here) state under penalty of perjury that I am a relatively cute guy of sound mind and body, am under no legal infirmities or incarceration, not presently subject to any present/current marriages in the United States and elsewhere.
FURTHER, if called to testify to court, will indicate under law that I am a U.S. Citizen or have green card and not looking for a ticket to America.
HENCEFORTH, I am ecstatic to be considered for the position of “Boyfriend of Sharon” that I cannot eat nor sleep until this application is under submission. I understand the terms and agreements of being the “Boyfriend of Sharon” and am fully aware the high demand and necessity from other prospective suitors. I further fully understand that Sharon will only take one boyfriend at a time from the millions of applications/submissions received. Moreover, I understand that I am willing to take the chance and the mere opportunity to be considered, even if not chosen to be said BOYFRIEND, is gratitude enough for forever and a lifetime*
THEREFORE, I, the undersigned, waive all right against lawsuits, attorneys’ fees, damages, costs, resentments, jealous rages, demands and liabilities that I may now or hereafter have against Sharon in connection with the use of the rights granted herein.
Dated:
Name:
Witness:
Minimal Effort 