Too bad I can’t draw one for you because my composition would probably kick ass.
Anyway, I went over to my friend’s friend’s place (does that make sense? A friend of a friend) because I left my friend’s scarf there at a festivity last weekend and she wanted it back. Well, what I thought would be a stop by and pick up turned into a sit-down discussion for a bit. After leaving, though and replaying the events in my head, I thought “my god, they must think I’m a pretentious asshole!”
They were talking about a movie that is coming out called “Better Luck Tomorrow” which is a Sundance film that got bought by MTV productions. THe commercials look really good. However, my friend Nina know the people who made the film and she sent me an email from the lead actor trying to convince us to watch him (I think I”ll post it up sometime later) and we were talking about it and I said “Yeah, I know the lead actor!” and started talking about film, NYU, and sundance and things of that matter.
But, in retrospect, they must’ve of thought “what a pretentious bitch” because I kept going on and on about it. Which leads me to think, that I got to stop that shit and shut up about film. Nobody cares what you think or how you miss your film school days (This is me talking to myself). The thing is, when I was in that environment, we ate, slept, and breathed film 24/7 and so I was used to it and my peers were used to it.
But, now I’m in San Diego and I have to be careful because sometimes passion can be miscontrued as being haughty about a subject. I think I’m suffering from film conversation withdrawal and am trying to find appropriate people to relate to. However, sometimes that’s ALL they talk about. I need somebody to relate to basically.
Without looking like a pretentious prick.
But, what about the conflict of being true to yourself? I guess I shouldn’t care right?
on another note, I confessed that I think I might have feelings for a guy. I got rejected (WA-HOO!) but when he rejected me, I didn’t feel very bad about it…which leads me to think that 1. I don’t really care or 2. I’ve been rejected so much that I don’t know HOW to feel rejected anymore. I suppose it’s probably a combination of both. I was talking about rejection in general with my friend Cooper and he says “well, that just shows what type of person you are. People who set themselves for rejection have self-confidence in themselves because they can take it.” Does this mean that I am over self-confident because it I didn’t mind much? Hmmm…
