MEDFORD, OR — Scissors defeated rock Monday, marking the cutting instrument’s first-ever victory over its longtime nemesis. Scissors, which had lost to rock an estimated 44 million times before the win, was widely expected to lose the match. “It was incredible,” witness Maria Wellsey said. “The rock was trying to smash the scissors, but it just couldn’t. Then all of a sudden, the scissors got up and cut right through the rock, just like it was paper or something.” Rock has lost its last two matches, including Friday’s defeat at the hands of paper, which easily covered the helpless stone.
[Taken by the hilarious paper, THE ONION, November 28, 1995)
Okay, I have a weird sense of humor, but this cracked me up BIG TIME.
Minimal Effort 