- Dear Reader,
I apologize on behalf of the lazy ass who is supposedly supposed to keep this updated. As aforementioned, I am a lazy ass and will tend to do that. Probably if I had a cool ass computer at home, I would be on it all the time talking to other lame asses online and updating this thing constantly (and probably starting a website devoted to “Guys who need to be my Boyfriend” i.e. David Duchovny, Vince Vaughn, Matthew Perry…et al. (You know what? I have no idea what i.e. and et al stand for….but I utilize those phrase all the time) Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program….*
So we are in Washington, after the long ass hours of traffic in whacked out Virginia. We pass the Pentagon and Kay gets all excited and says “YO! Let’s go there!” (I think I added in the yo…I don’t think she actually said that). Anyway, we drive up there with my bladder calling my name and saying the Diet Coke is ready to disburse its new likeness into the world. So, we’re driving up and I say “Let’s go in a couple of minutes and head over to a McDonald’s. My bladder is a-calling” and she was like “No, just pee in the parking lot” and I was like “Yeah, right. I will hold it.” Nevertheless, we go in there and she hands me toilet paper.
I squat down as I have mental images of a camera taking a picture of my ass hanging out the passenger side of the car and them sending them out via internet. Here’s the thing I learned as well, you never know how much you REALLY pee until you pee on solid ground because in the water you just hear trickling for a given amount of time. Anyway, I finish (with toilet paper in tow) and we go into the Pentagon steps and such. We start taking pictures (even when the sign says NO PICTURES! Sheesh. we’re going to jail) and then we leave.
We go to the Washington Monument, which btw, was closed when I went last Thanksgiving with my east coast bf, Angela Ortiz, (hi ange), but now was open for display. We walk around it and see the White House, the Capital Building, and the Lincoln statue thingy all in a 1 mile radius within the Washington Monument. Then we get like, lonely, and want to call people up and share this wondrous moment. Alas, my cell phone is out of service and Kay’s cell phone has no battery. Then we get desperate…
Minimal Effort 