A couple of things happening simulataneously which is exciting and frustrating at the same time. I would rather have it this way then depressed and somber or whatever.
First of all, I’m moving to a new place this week. I’m quite excited about it although I will be unbelievably poor for awhile. I don’t care. I don’t like the feeling or the impression that I should be in check.
Second of all, I have an interview for a new job this Tuesday. Dear God (or alternate higher being) please please give me the power to quit the buck and start anew
Third of all, BOYS. Boys are confusing and fun and exciting and terrible and great. I’m in the throes of confusion right now (throes?) but not a bad confusion– a good one. A revealing one about who I am as a person and what I want in life and what I want from a potential signficant other. Unfortunately the dude I am crushing on at my current job HAS NO SHIFTS WITH ME NEXT WEEK!! Goddamnit. I got to see him yesterday briefly. He told that a girl once told him he looked like Harry Potter! And if you want to know what this guy looks like, he looks like an ethnic Harry Potter at an older age. He has messy disheveled dark hair and big glasses. I figure though if cleaned up, he would have great potential for flossing (I got that term from Tyler…hee hee hee). Smart, handsome but not too handsome and funny. Now if only I can find out how he was in bed.
Sex: Yes, I talk about it a lot. Probably because I’m pretty frustrated with the whole thing. Man, that stuff is addicting and it has a lot of power over me. A lot more than I would want. Especially when you’re in the moment and you know if you got some you would be a happy person — even for a while. I’ve noticed an interesting correlation though. Whenever I have sex, I usually stop smoking. Everytime I’ve been without sex for more than a month or so, I start smoking. i didn’t even start smoking till after the first time. Interesting isn’t it? So the more I smoke,the more sexually frustrated I am. So I figure when i have a serious healthy (read: kinky) relationship, I’m going to quit smoking forever. For me and the other person.
When you think about it sex has power over your friendships, your moods, your outlook on life, your present, your future, your past, and your drama. That’s a lot of power. Although the media tries to make it for physical pleasure, there’s always something else involved whether it be you discovering another facet of yourself or discovering another facet of the person you’re doing.
Anyway, I sort of believe everything happens for a reason and at a particular time. We have the answers, we just need to ask the right questions.
Okay, I’m actually going to get some work done after I take my afternoon midday nap.
May the force be with you (It’s Obi-Wan! He’s holding me back!)
YES, I saw the next Star Wars. I think Lord of the Rings is better but seeing the Matrix Trailer WAS FUCKING RAD!!!
I’ll be a little upbeat and less contemplative next time peeps.
Minimal Effort 